What do you do if you really need the loo in an english country garden?

Squat, and watch you don't nettle your a*se!

Is'nt that something a bloke would do?

Saying that though (TRUE STORY) I was out clubbing one night and decided to queue outside Route 66 with my mates. It was really packed and the queue was going round the side of the building. At the side of the club was a row of bushes which had many gaps in.

We were just talking when i noticed 3 girls left the queue to start walking to the bushes. Then they all squatted behind the terrible camouflage and began to pee. Everyone was looking and they had really exposed themselves. I couldnt believe it. But i suppose as girls always go to the toilets in groups they had the courage to... lol.

Go and find one.

Even thou, this story i am about to tell you has completely nothing to do with country gardens, a recent trip to the beach, i saw a small toddler wee in the sand accompanied with his parent. A few minutes later as they sat and eat food... the toddler went back to the same spot and was making sand castles in it. And they let him. Foul or what?

A guard led me to a rose bed at the White Castle.

Musn,t shite in nice pleasant english country garden, travel to nearest house and ask to use cludgy.

pull down your pants and suffocate the ants

sit on the loo and do a massive poo

You can use the lava-Tree

A tall hydrangea does for me

We sang this song when-I was at school

etc

thanks for the memory

you pull down your pants and fertilize the plants in an English country.....gaaarrrden

Trousers down, and stoop in the nearest bush!

You water the flowers!

Third tree on the left...