Ladies I need some advice!!?

Definitely trust your gut. This guy is playing games with you now...a lot of guys do this. They think they can find better so they will end the relationship and then later when they realize that they cannot find better they want to come crawling back to you...I say if you found someone else who you like take a shot! Of course you will still have feelings for your ex and miss him a bit...but most likely what you miss is the thought of the two of you together during happy times (just think how much you don't miss the unhappy times though)...No matter what you do do not let a guy walk all over you-he will respect you less in the long run if you do. And #1 piece of advice...always trust your gut because your first instinct is most likely right ( no matter how much you miss him...)

Good luck!

Sweetie, I know you're hurting. We've all been there but, you need to remember why he's your ex and be sure that you want to deal with that again. Don't let him tell you that he needs time to decide weather or not he wants you. If you do and he comes back... you'll offically be his doormat. He'll know that he can treat you anyway he wants and you'll just keep on coming back. The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for 4 years is being in a bad relationship for 4 years and 1 day.

I would call. The New Wonderful Guy! I just wouldn't ever bring up your ex or the break up. That's what your girlfriends are for, ya know:) Just take it easy and don't rush anything... 4 years is a while to be with someone, so just have fun. Call and see if he wants to hang out, see a movie, whatever. Just getting out there and having a good time will help heal your heart, and clear your mind so you can be open to a new relationship when you're ready.

I hope this helps:) Good luck & best wishes!

You have to ask yourself if that 4 year relationship is worth salvaging. Examine sans emotions(although, of course, easier said than done) and ask yourself why it was in the first place you broke-up? Can it be resolve? Is it a make or break issue? Ask yourself seriously about this and be real and true to yourself. Everyone goes through heartbreaks and major loss....I've seen the worst....and the wonderful and miraculous thing is that we eventually do move on(really...it is so true) Emotional you could still love your ex, and that maybe true, but the real question is: Is there enough good, does he treat you lovingly overall, Is it truly something worth re-investing in or is it a case of just longing (which is normal and very much a part of the process). Before you call, spend sometime thinking about this and if your answer is no, then it really is best for you not to be "friends" until much much later. As for the new guy.....he sounds good, but you have to clear the path to make way for the new. Good luck!

You have to follow your heart on this one. . . . one big question is why did you guys break up in the first place? What was so bad that at the time you couldn't work it out? You need to consider this before you consider taking him back. You most likely identify yourself with this man right now and you should spend some time developing yourself as a single person. Do somethings that you like and work on your skills and hobbies. Become a whole person and you will be surprised how soon you don't miss him anymore.

Also, you will never be able to have a good solid relationship with the new man until you have come to some resolution about the first. It isn't fair to him to involve him in your confusion. If you are going to see him, make sure he understands how you feel and where you stand on your feelings about the first man.

Ouch! Sorry, honey, but can I say "rebound?" You had no business jumping into another relationship right after a 4 year relationship. Ya never know, after a relationship of that stature if it's going to end up not being over in the long run. First, break things off with the other guy, and then call the ex. But don't seem needy, and don't act like you want him back. Play hard to get a little, but not too much, either.

If moving on is really what you want, then do call him back and ask him those questions you have so that you can get the closure on the relationship that you need to move on. You need to determine what it really is that YOU want first, before you will know for sure how to handle him from now on. Maybe if you both date other people for a while but stay in touch, you will gain an appreciation for each other that you didn't have before, and the relationship will be stronger next time around. But if you're going to do that, keep an open mind, and don't let his 'being in the queue' keep you from seeing the great things in other guys out there, or from having a good time. Good luck!

I realize you have some unanswered questions in your mind...however since you have started a relationship with this new guy... maybe it wouldnt hurt to give the wound to heal a bit more before you called him back. If the ex said it would take some time to even think of pursing a relationship with you again... then by all means .... give him some time and see how you feel in a couple of weeks. Trust your instincts... I know 4 years is a long time to have invested in with the ex.. but obviously something terribly wrong must have happened to make the breakup so horrible. It will take time to get over the old flame. You just need to give yourself some time to heal. Good Luck.

you should think about things with your ex bf, and how they were and if the problems that caused you to break up were serious enough to move on. plus it could always be a good thing for you to move on with your life and find better which you may have already with this new guy that you have met. Try giving this new guy a chance he could be something more wonderful than what you have had in the past. Talk things over with your ex bf and decide to stay friends, whatever is best for you. Yourself and your heart should be your first priority in this situation.

Why do you girls act so stupid!!!!! Stop laying down for these guys! It is over.......what part of this don't you understand???? So.....so what??? you have a 4 year history.....that means nothing! Don't let this guy use you as a door mat. All I see are letters like yours.......young girls compromising themselves. Very rarely do you see the guys writing......because girls are stupid and you feel that you are judged in life by having a boyfriend or not! If you have a "wonderful new guy" then concentrate on that relationship. If you are not able to do that, be fair to him and don't pretend it is something that it is not! Grow up and act mature because unless you respect yourself.....how do you expect anyone else to????

First of all respect yourself and say good riddens if that is the case. It is very cheap of him to break up with you in such a nasty way then turn around and call you. Is there any chance he could know about your new guy and if so that would be the reason for the phone calls and second, for all the questions, there ain't anything he could say that would answer them the way you want them answered so just remember, he made his bed, let him lie in it !!!!!!! PS don't lose what you have now if it is that great.