How do you get over the paranoia of getting HIV (in any way) although I don't do anything with these people?

First you say that you have been sexually active with men, and then you say you are paranoid and think that you 'did' something with them; sometimes you get tested for HIV and find you don't have it.

HIV is not paranoia; there really is such a thing and it is deadly.

If you look carefully at what you said--please double check to be sure I have not misunderstood you-- did I quote you correctly--? What you are feeling bad about is not the fear of getting HIV. That comes later, and it is a convenient SYMBOL for your anxieties, even though when you get tested, it proves that your most recent fears were groundless!

No, what you feel bad about is doing the sexual activities with men in the first place. The HIV fear is a convenient symbol for it, later. The fact that you keep on testing negative proves it!

Is your body able to tell the difference between a man and a woman? Nobody is able to tell the diference; one hand or one mouth feels much the same as another.

Have you tried sexual activities with women? Do you really think that you would feel bad in the same way afterward, with women? Do you think that you would have the same symbolic HIV anxiety afterward, with women?

The way to get over the paranoia is to admit to yourself, "This is what I am doing to myself, which provokes my fears." Nobody is doing it to you. There is not any actual other person who is provoking you to be afraid, there is nobody who is out to get you. This is something you are doing to yourself.

Now that you realize this, you have a basic choice. You can go on the way you have been doing, realizing that you will never be happy, that you will always have the HIV anxiety-- unless you are able to throw off all anxiety and actually get HIV, which is counterproductive, sacrificing physical reality for some idealized mental concept of how things ought to be-- OR you can change the way you have been, now that you realize you have been doing this to yourself, provoking your own fear, and stop doing what you have been doing to yourself and to others.

Even if they think that it what they really really want.

The time will come when they will have to make the same choice that you are making now and it would not be fair to further burden them with additional fear and anxiety in the same way you have been doing to yourself. The prompt, temporary relief of the sexual pleasure is just that-- temporary. And it is only temporary relief from the anxiety that has plagued you. Don't fall for the trap of thinking that you can have it both ways.

Why do you think they call it 'adult' choices...?

Just get over it.

Be careful when you do have sex (use protection every time) and try not to worry so much, that's not healthy.

Don't have sex with men? Wear a condom, make sure your partners are clean. Don't sleep with every guy you meet.

use condoms, you can also get hiv from getting a tattoo from your " let me give you a tattoo in my basement!" man......so just be careful