How do you get some one out of your heart and mind?

i've been in and out of relationships since i was in HS. no matter if it's kiddy stuff or serious stuff as we grow older, breaking up leaves the same painful feeling of loss.

i used to think that i could never get over my first love. even if i had other loves, hearing his name or the slightest memory of how it was with us used to drive me to tears and depression. then i graduated from college and met other people. i learned to REFOCUS my life onto something more important, like work. before i knew it, i was healed. met him again after a while, was still fond of him, but it wasnt the same anymore-- i saw him from a different perspective and i was no longer in love.

my ex hubby dumped me 3 years ago. for a lesbian no less, who wanted to use him to advance her position in the company. it left me feeling so ugly and unwanted. its the feeling of rejection that hurts, on top of the love. but i discovered a cure for broken hearts long ago-- i dont know if it applies to you but it healed me--

i took time to love myself. i picked up the pieces of myself, grew my hair long, took better care of my looks, ate well, slept more, re-discovered things that i truly enjoy, immersed myself in them, got better at them, and came out of the experience whole again.

see, if you love yourself enough, and you feel comfortable with your being, its like telling the universe: hey! im ok. hey! i look great because i feel great. the universe cant help but respond and notice you, too--

loving your neighbor as you love yourself is a twofold healing verse.

You haven't found the right woman yet to replace her...once you do you will be very surprised that she will be a distant memory. Three weeks is not long enough to get over the feelings you have and don't be in such a hurry to hope that someone you are dating will make it all better. Rejection is a tough feeling to overcome and often times becomes intertwined with feelings of acceptance and love. Also, if you can tell yourself that real love is never one-sided, but only infatuation on our part.....we could be much more logical regarding our emotions.

well i wish i had some miracle cure to help you out. Been there too. The truth is you just have to deal with the pain, there is no way to avoid it. Trying to do that will cause you more pain in the long run. Allow yourself to go through the emotions that are always present in these types of situations, the hurt, anger, etc. Accept that this person was not meant for you in the way you wanted, and know that the right person is out there waiting for you just like you are waiting for her. Never give up hope.

i feel many of us have one of those, but mine loved me back for a while then had some issues that kept us a part and dear it has been 8 years and i am married but still have those exact same feelings for the other person. they never go away and it is so hard to move on . and we have a lot of the same friends and i finally had to quit hanging around with a few of them because they always had to fill me in on what he was doing and i couldn't take it anymore. also he recently moved away and i does help a lot i mean he only moved a few towns away but i don't see him much anymore. and it helps SO much.

BUT FOR THE PAIN MINE HAS NEVER STOPPED. and it put a damper on my relationship now

The awnser is Time. And at this point the timming was not right for the 2 of you. Whos to say it maybe at a later date. Move on you can,t help but think of her because you cared. But every thing will work out just the way its is suppose to. Give yourself time.

It doesn't go away, it just changes over time from that burning ache to a moment of memory. Accept it as what it is and try to find someone else who can open your heart again.Please don't make the mistake of trying to find someone just like her! if you love someone it's always for different reasons then you loved the last, trust me, I know exactly what your dealing with.

i am going through the same thing, chief. but think it this way,, u love her but she can't even stand you. u might think -- o ,she does not know me properly. once she does she'll love me.

the best way is to find somebody else. someone who loves you or wait - may be she like you someday but very less chances. or com on man - u seem to be a wise patient man y are you going after somebody who cant even stand you.

give urself some respect and look for somebody who respects you. how can there be love if there is not even respect.

Time is a good healer. Replacing her with someone else is also good. You can choose what you want to think so when you start to think of her, do not entertain the thoughts, change your thoughts and after a while it will got away.

Listen to music, take some cool photographs and just do what you love to do. Pretty soon it will mostly go away and all of your birthdays and holidays will fill with something else better.

Time is the only thing that will heal all wounds no matter how deep. Just try to train yourself to know if this is what she wants to be happy and even its not with you, be happy for her and just take your time.