If something goes wrong 'for' your spouse, do they take it out on you?

I do not tolerate it. I do some adult thinking, and find a resolution to the problem.

I do not 'take' it out on anyone, because analysis shows me what can be changed, what has to be accepted. Then I move on to the next goal.

The sooner I finish this one, the sooner I will be doing the fun stuff!

If you will just ask your spouse what that argument was about, last Saturday, it should point up that the reason was a trivial one, and simply an excuse to "act out" like a two year old, who hasn't yet found his vocabulary.

Well, we don't let two year olds get away with irresponsible behavior, and we don't let adults act like two year olds.

Be safe out there! Show the love in every way!

yes, I sure know what you mean. My husband sometimes has a stressful day at work and he can take things out on me and just pick fights or set himself up for attack (all verbal) I just try and coach myself that he's really not upset with me that for example we are having chicken again for dinner. I usually defend my self as well and say something like just because you had a stressful day at work doesn't mean you can come home and be a jerk. We are all tired. I am happy to listen if you need to talk but I won't be your punching bag. Then I walk away. Between a few minutes and a couple hours he will come an apologize and then explain why he is in such a funk. I think some people just need more time.

People tend to strike out at the nearest available target no matter what the real cause for the problem. A connected and caring spouse will be able to reason out that very thing. Realizing that they aren't really upset with you, but some other situation, and taking it as that and not a personal attack, lends to understanding and the realization that you can be supportive, not protective of yourself.

Sadly, sometimes they wud, since u r the person closest to them. Let them let it out, it's NOT personal. when they calm down, have a chat, listen to their story n they usually will end up apologising. It's hard when to handle them when they r raging, but b tolerant - all they really want is someone to listen. Try this .... I hope it works for u, let us know

They sometimes do try to sit down and talk about it, if it gets violent get out of there. You always hurt the one closest to you but if it is abuse you want no part of that. Seek counceling. Talk about what their upset about. Go for a walk until they calm down.

yes, She does it all the time, I finaly told her I could not live with such an unhappy person, and one who cant figure out who is the one on her side, and who is trying to help and support her in her problems. I didnt see her for a few days, and she came to me and appologised, and said she would try harder to not take things out on me. We'll see!

yes it is a normal thing according to my guy, and i usually tell him that normal is relative and if he wants to stay related he should get control of his normalcy and be an adult. according to the few things i have read about this it is a reaction of the ego, when thay have no control over it being done to them. IE boss yells at husband, husband yells at wife, wife yells at kid, kid kicks dog. break the chain be the adult.

My fiance comes home pissed off a lot because of his job. I just let him vent and then if he starts directing his frustration towards me I tell him to calm down. If they’re already mad don’t add to it.

My wife goes nut on me over stuff that upsets her, stuff that I didn't cause. I know she is just venting in her own way so I try to grin and bare it.

Happens to me all the time, I just stay away from him untill he is himself again and not agitated...

He will usually talk about it rationally in time, I just make sure not to add to his anger...

Sometimes a little time alone works wonders...