Has this neighbor lost her d a m n mind? What do you think?

Sorry but when she had your daughter over, she took on the responsibility of your daughter, even financial responsibility. If she took them someplace and allowed them to damage something, would she also expect you to pay for part of the damage? Wrong, you were not there to oversee your daughter, she was, so she is responsible for any damage done even to her own home.

Now if your daughter deliberately damaged something, (say she climbed on a chair and punched a whole in a painting on purpose) then yes you may have some responsibility, but not much as your daughter was in her control. You should not have to pay because she lost control.

I dont think you are responsible for her dry cleaning bill. You offered your carpet machine, she declined. She took it upon herself to get the rug dry cleaned. I would not give her a stinking dime toward that bill. And she was stupid for throwing the comforter away. It just needed to be washed. There is no way she could make you pay the bill even if she claims she is going to take you to small claims court. Accidents happen and it sounds like she is being a ***** about the whole thing!

This woman was insane to have a young child eating popcorn and drinking coke on such expensive items.

I would personally pay the dry cleaning bill just to keep the peace, but privately I would know that the lady was a lunatic.

I might just offer to pay half of it since it was her decision to have them on that stuff.

Even when someone is behaving stupidly, if it doesn't get to expensive, sometimes it is advisable to do the best thing rather than the thing that you are justified in doing.

Too bad and so sad when a neighbor does this. She invited your little girl to spend the night. If children have wetting accidents in her home, it is her responsiblity to clean it up. As long as you offered to pay, then that is what you have to do. $175.00, isn't much in comparison to loosing a friendship. If I was the one who invited your child to spend the night, I would not ask for money to clean up after my guest.

If I were you, I would pay her. BUT I would not let my child stay there , nor would I invite her child to spend the night at my house. She has caused a wedge now. Too bad. Pay her !

the fundamental principle is: what response will maximise your happiness, or minimise your unhappiness

is this neighbour worth retaining as a friend? has she any value to you as a neighbour? - does breaking with this woman mean your little girl has no handy friend to play with? how fond is your girl of the neighbour girl?

how onerous is the bill to you? if you live next door to a woman who buys expensive throw rugs, perhaps the bill is not so onerous

i think the larger responsibility lies with the neighbour - you have to ask yourself how much responsibility you feel you had in the incident - do you feel partially responsible?

if you feel you are better off not to know such a person, and your daughter will not be lacking a significant friend, you could say: no, sorry, i feel the responsibility lies entirely with you

if you think it is useful to you to stay on good terms with the neighbour [for sharing the care of the two girls] you could compromise what you think about who is responsible in order to stay friendly

if you are going to be longterm neighbours and you have no other close neighbours, then it will be a stress and discomfort for you to be in enmity with this woman for years - and it could escalate

possibly paying $75 of the bill is appropriate to your aims of getting the best out of the situation

if she insists that you are totally responsible, it may be in your interests to go along with this and pay the whole bill although you disagree about who is responsible [or irresponsible!] if the benefits of the neighbour are worth it

if you are smart, you could get out of the bill without alienating the neighbour, with some cunning diplomacy!

there is never a reason to get angry at anyone - mother nature is responsible for human nature and failings - the neighbour did not sit down one day and decide to be what she is -

so

you have to weigh up

how onerous contributing to the cost is to you

what benefits you could lose in losing the goodwill of the neighbour - or what benefits you could gain in losing the neighbour!

how you think the responsibility shares fall

etc

eg, can your husband benefit from contact with the meighbour's husband - either as companionship which will keep your husband happy - or as business contacts?

if you pracitise maximising the positive outcome to you from this situation, you will get better at maximising your benefit from all situations

obviosly she took what you said backwards and personally if she can afford to throw away a 700.00 comforter she can pay the dry cleaning bill,

if the carpet needed dry cleaned there is stuff out there to do it at home, and one accident is not going to ruin anything

I would have got the comforter out of her trash, washed it or had it cleaned and used it....as far as the rug is concerned...if they didn't take up your offer to use the carpet shampoo machine, let them eat the $175.00 for lunch.........and hope they don't take you to court.

i think she should expect you to split the bill, if anything. she should have excersized better judgement in general, but it's a good idea in the future to let somoen know that you don't allow your daughter to stay up past a designated hour and that she should go light on the beverages before bed. people tend to assume that other children have the same capacities and boundries that theirs do. for the sake of good relations for the girls and your neighbors, best to offer to split the bill and move on.

You offered to help her already. Blow her off jut like she blew you off. It was her decision to take the rug to get dry cleaned so she should have to pay for the bill.

well you offered to help her solve the problem and you were willing to help her, however since she took it upon herself to solve the problem without contacting you first im sure that she waived her own rights...why would she do that? $175 just to get some little girl pee out of a rug??? come on and she THREW the comforter away??? she needs help not your money....