how can i help my eight year old son cope with the loss of his father?

Your son needs help in knowing how to deal with grief. It is hard for an adult to cope with loss and greiving, let alone a child.

At eight, you may ask him if he is interested in counselling. Ask him if he'll try it a few times and see if it is helpful to him. Let him be part of the decision, but tell him he should at least try it, and if he doesn't like it he can stop. Give him this option. It might be for the best.

Good luck, and best wishes to your son.

I was having trouble coping with the loss of my father. He died two years ago, and my life was falling apart until recently.

What changed for me was getting back into church. Not just any church, but a good Word based, Spirit filled congregation. Being involved has helped me SO MUCH. I'm willing to bet getting your son involved at church (or getting him active in another class or group within the church if he attends already) will help much more than you would think.

It's so good that he can write songs and talk to a brother or sister about it. That's helping him to work through it. Most eight year olds are far more resilient than we realize. Let him talk about it, sing about it, whatever he needs to do....but being able to talk with your or other family members is definitely a huge step in the process of healing.

And likely there's more to this than his father's death. You mentioned his dad had been in prison. There has to be some confusion there, possibly some anger and shame to be worked through. Maybe even a sense of abandonment, as if he thinks his father left him deliberately.

Most importantly, please assure him that God didn't do this to his dad. Here in the Bible belt we're always surrounded by someone ready to "comfort" us by saying something stupid like "This is just God's will and we have to endure it." Your son needs to know that he still has a Father's love, and that God is GOOD and will be there for him all the days of his life and beyond if he'll let Him. Not everything that happens in this world happens in accordance with God's will....and your son needs to understand that the Lord is there for him always, and did not rob him of his father.

I wish you all the very best. I'm sorry for the pain you're going through as well. One of the best things you can do for your son is make sure that you are also coping with the grief, and that you are doing what you can to work through this without bringing your son along for the ride. It's one of the hardest things sometimes, but you have to be strong for yourself first, then you'll be able to hold up for your children.

Good luck to you - I care.

Wow, that's a tough one. And I am sure none of this advice will help, but willing to give it a try.

First of all, he's opened up to you, that's a good sign. Just let him talk, let him get it out. When he tells you the songs, ask him to say more about how he feels. Let him talk. You may have to do this several times over many months.

When it feels right, tell him what you feel. If you miss him, say so. If his father made you angry, say that it made you angry. But both of you -- together, focus on what happens now, and in the future. Tell him you need him, and ask him if he's willing to help you get through it, too. This gives him a constructive way to be strong and not focus on himself and his pain to the point where it gets in the way.

Tell him that you'll be there for him, too, but that it's tougher when it's just the two of you... and so you have to lean on each other. Tell him that what good there was in his father lives on in him, and what bad there was is gone now.

He's at an age where you can raise him to be the man his father never was, but maybe hoped to be.

Good luck, and god bless.

There are grief groups in some of the larger cities. I hope you attend church regularly, people who are religious seem to work through grief better. There are some good web sites. I never grieved for my mother who died at my birth nor my dad who died when i was 13 primarily because I was taught that death is just as much a part of life as birth is. Yes I miss my dad but I know that some day we will be together again and that he wants me to live my life to it fullest.

Just type in children's grief and childrens grief into the search engine and you will find a variety of sites.

i might want to represent that your husband bypass to the airport to satisfy his son on his own if he's by no skill met him previously. Regardless the way you would possibly want to privately sense you want to handle him like the others and be straightforward or maybe surpassed, in case you may not attempt this you would possibly want to not be pondering taking him in. He might want to no longer get a 'present' as this would reason resentment of jealousy and could basically confuse issues. His Father might want to make certain he has the prospect to discuss his mom at the same time as he feels waiting, and he might want to shelter contact which includes her kin. She is element of his identity and he needs to grieve without stressful speaking about her offends or upsets everybody. He has had a mom, so might want to call you through your call or another agreed on and ideal identify.

It is indeed pathetic. Though as a mother, you can take care of him, but he may be missing the father's love, direction, guidance and strictness. You can think of letting your son get such a direction from one of your close relatives, may be your dad, or brother or his father's dad or brother. If none of these options are available, you can consider taking the help of local parish or church heads. I am not sure whether this will be right for me to suggest this...but considering the plight of your son I took the risk

I think I would talk to a professional. Maybe in your community they have grief classes for children. He's really gonna need alot of love and attention from you, but look in your community for help! Good Luck to you!!

It is best to just have a listening ear and if he wants to cry just hold him. He needs to know that it is safe to let out what is inside.