How would a father of a mature 13 year old boy discourage using cannabis. He is a good mannered, smart boy.?

I don't think there is a quick and easy answer to this.

Pot is certainly not the worst drug your boy could be using, however, at 13, he shouldn't be using anything. You need to try to find out why he feels the need for drugs at his age. Is he depressed? In need of attention?

Seems like there's more to the picture.

I don't believe pot kills brain cells, though I'm sure it's no picnic on your lungs. I do think it could also (sometimes) be a gateway drug, leading to worse drugs--like coke or heroin.

The idea is to keep him off all drugs for as long as he is a child--and under the supervision of an adult. Once he turns 18, he's on his own and, hopefully, grounded enough to make wise decisions about these types of things.

Finally, is there a talent that he has that stands out? Does he love animals? Play an instrument? Do sports? Try to steer him in the direction of what he loves--give him lessons, or the tools to help him develop his talent. Once he realizes he has potential, if he's as smart as you say he is, he just might realize that doing drugs is only going to hinder his progress.

Best of luck to you. I sympathize. I have 3 (yes, I said 3) 13 year olds.

I understand what you're feeling, not from being a parent but from being THAT 13 year old once and then the older sister of THAT 13 year old. It wasn't until I saw my younger brother who is 6 years my junior getting into cannibis that I realised how difficult it must of been for my poor parents because I hated it.

Of course he denies what he does, you're his Dad, also he's not lazy, it's the cannibis that makes him lazy. As someone who was a very regular somker at one stage, the cannibis does not take away your ambition, it simply takes away any drive to follow through, it can actually give people great ambitions, as imagination is great on dope but the problem is, what's the point in ambition if you don't have the drive to follow through.

There is no dead cert way of making sure he is off cannibis. Do what my Dad did, I'm not off it complately but I smoke it maybe once or twice a month at parties etc. which is not as bad as every day! My Dad had simply had enough when I was 16, I'd just done my first state exam and although I passed, I didn't get the high score I was more than able to achieve. He sat me down and explained to me that he understood that's it's not the worst drug in the world and I should be experimenting and enjoying myself at 16 but that I was addicted and if ti had been alcohol, crack or chocolate he would be just as worried. Even if I couldn't accept that I was addicted myself, he kinda made me believe that I was, and I knew that addiction is a sign of a dependent person and I wanted to be independant. Whe you are speaking to him don't give out to him, tell him you smoked it too when you were younger and you can see the appeal but that if he wants to do it he MUST wait until he is 16 and also let you know so that you won't think he's doing anything worse, tell him you don't mind but you are worried as people who smoke it too much or at too early an age can be seriously affected mentally, ask him what he wants to do later in life and begin to help him realise that dream. Research it for him and with him but make sure you keep telling him that this can never happen if he smokes cannibis.

Also if you wish to scare him into giving it up (this will only work if he is afraid of punishment), print out an article written by somebody who suffers from Cannibis Psychosis, this is a mental illness, I have a friend who suffers and only ever had 1/2 a joint in his whole life.... might I add it's a lifelong illness and can be quite disturbing for people who suffer and those who have to watch.

Don't be offended, but put yourself in his position. The new kids in town sound exciting, perhaps a little devious? You said he has lost interest in the ones that love him....what have you done to show interest? besides reprimand or punish him? That is not considered attention.

Maybe your son needs more attention without realizing it.

Give him attention. All teens have issues. Get him involved. Take him to a football game, ask him questions and listen, really listen. Get a basketball and hoop and talk while you are playing with him. Start all over, it's not too late. Listen to one of his CD's. After all kids are forced to listen to things at school they don't like. Talk about music without being negative about their interests. Share yourself and he will respond if he is mature.

Don't dwell on his mistakes. They are just that, mistakes.

Did you tell him you were no angel? Don't tell him what not to do, tell him what to do. Tell him, you know he is too old to go to the show with his father, but you want to see what all the hype is about so would he go with you? Sincerely, show an interest in what he does. Stress the positive in his life and the negative will take a back corner. This is the most important communication in a childs' life. He will always be your little boy if you nurture him now. Ask questions that require a real answer. Questions like what did you do in school today? just dosen't cut it.

Ask about a particular subject, the teacher. Use your imagination and ask the things you wanted to be asked when you were 13. You have to start slowly and approach with caution.

Yup... I smoked pot when I was a teenager, still do - but only occasionally. One thing to make sure you don't do is be too hard on him - if there's anything that's true of most teenagers, it's that they backlash if you push them too hard. The people I know who are most sensible about taking drugs and alcohol are the one's who's parents weren't too strict in stopping them when they were teenagers, whilst at the same time did take concern and discourage them (that latter part is equally important). Being too strict creates a psychological premise that lasts beyond their teenage years, and not supervising them at all is just as bad. So just take note of that before you decide how to go ahead with this... It's very important not to go too far to either end of the strict-lenient spectrum.

Also treat him with respect, respect his opinions as opposed to acting as though you're the only source of worldly knowledge to him, otherwise he won't repect your opinions and it'll all be a waste of time.

Don't even bother looking up the side-effects of cannabis and trying to disuade him by telling him them. This post is getting too long as it is, so I won't go into why - just know that I've known countless teenagers who smoke pot, and that one never works.

Don't make a drama out of the whole thing - be level headed about it.

The main reason he'd try it is a) curiosity, and b) peer pressure. The biggest factor in crumbling to peer pressure is low self esteem (so making the group want to look upon the individual in a better light). I can't offer any advice as to how you can keep his self esteem & confidence high, but if you can think of a way - use it.

Hope this helps, and good luck. Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk about it further...

First..stop making excuses for not parenting him by saying you were no angel as a kid. That was YOU! We are talking about your Kid, here. You are going to have to get tough in your love for him. You are going to have set very tough and specific rules and deal with them. You are the parent and he is underage and if you do not come down hard on this lazyiness and thoughtless behavior like a jack-hammer..you will lose this kid to drugs and far worse. I know because I have had to deal with a very obstinate daughter..geeze..you think boys are bad? Girls are more devious and ruthless.

Set all kinds of rules on his head and tell him they will not go away until you see a change in him for the better. He has no life from now on..it belongs to you and his brothers. Take away his computer in his room and cell phone so he cannot contact these other kids easily. You have to bring the hammer down and make him earn his freedom back slowly and over the course of this school year.

I am warning you..be the parent or lose this boy before this school year is over..oh..and make him payback any theft he has done that you are sure of...just because he is breathing does not give him the right to act like a delinguent and cause you an early heart attach, Dad.

Take him to talk to drug counselling. Or better yet, a drug rehad center.. If they start off smoking pot, it usually progresses into Coke, or Meth or other really bad drugs.

Scare the crap out of him with reality.

It is not your job to be the nice dad it is your job to make your kids productive members of society. IF he is a dope head - that will not happen and he will end up being a couch potato all of his life.

I would do what ever I could to get him away from those kids, including calling the parents and letting them know what thier kids have been up to - including the drugs. Odds are good that they do not even know about it. And if they do, then shame on them - they can be reported to the police for contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Take the Right path - even if it pisses your son off now, he will grow up and appreciate you for doing what is right.

Good luck -

What a tragic tale... it truly is the reason moms and dads favor to confer with there toddlers about sex.. They waited too lengthy to provide him the communicate and he changed into clueless. I knew at age 8 that having sex can make children. I partly blame his moms and dads for not chatting with him quicker. the lady also must have general more beneficial valuable in view that she changed into, no less than, 14 on the time... What a tragic tale.. the toddler did not recognize what he changed into doing, and did not recognize that sex can make children.. i have self assurance for him, and that i'm happy with him for stepping as a lot because the plate and being in touch in the toddler's existence.

Take him to the local psychiatric hospital and introduced him to the patients there who have cannabis induced psychosis. Maybe even volunteer to do some community service there together.

Send him to a doctor or to a community of people who use drugs. When he sees how cannabis and other drugs transform people into S H I T, he will change idea.

tell him it kills brain cells