If Jesus told you to engage in illicit sexual conduct with a porcupine, would you do it?

yes

If it were a human porcupine, the other kind is an animal, and it would be beastiality. The Lord would not tell me that, because it would mean what He had said about beastiality before, would not be true. He says it is an abomination.

The only way the Lord would ever say this, is if I were a porcupine as well. Since I'm not, it is a moot point.

Since Jesus is perfect, he wouldn't ask anyone to do anything like that, so your fantasy is just that, a fantasy.

How long have you had sexual feelings about porcupines?

God told Abraham to kill his son, but he was only joking and said he was damn proud that ol' Abe was about to put the knife in.

I quit praying in 1999 when Jesus told me to "take out" a texan ex coke-head presidential candidate.

No, I'd say "Screw you, Jesus. And your little porcupine, too."

And then I'd run away and tell a grown-up I trust.

I try not to have sex with partners who have claws and teeth capable of debarking a tree--not to mention the quills.

is this the way you spend your time?

I sincerely hope you find a deeper meaning to your life than just wasting time thinking of stuff like that

Uhhh...I just don't see Jesus doing that. You have a strange imagination.

my god what a moral dillema. pork a porcupine or fry in hell? sucks to be christian, i suppose.

id first ask why to see where hes coming from with that whole idea