Cutters, friends of cutters...help please?

1. I have.

2. Yes.

3. I'm not sure exactly. I think I was mad at myself for something I'd screwed up, and I was just so frustrated that I wanted to hurt myself. I remember feeling like that before then, and I'd tried to scratch myself with my fingernails before, but one day I finally got not my SwissArmy knife and tried to cut myself (I say tried because it wasn't sharp enough to break the skin). Eventually I found an X-acto knife, and that did it. That would have been my junior year of high school, which was about three years ago.

4. Never told anyone (except online).

5. Besides that I _am_ an adult now (arguably), I don't want my parents to know because they (my mom especially) thinks of me as being really emotionally stable and stuff. Plus my mom's a psychologist, so she'd be _too_ understanding (that sounds weird I know, but it makes sense to me), and also probably upset that she didn't see it coming.

6. Sometimes. I've tried snapping a rubber band against my wrist and some other things. That first one seems to work when I want it to.

7. I've read a lot about it (cutting) online, but that's it.

8. 19, female.

9. No. Except for like three songs I downloaded a few weeks ago to figure out just what emo acutally was.

10. I think there is a link of sorts between emo and cutting. Not because of the music, but because of the culture that's associated with it. There's some population of kids that consider themselves "emo kids" (like some kids are goth or preppy or whatever). Just like other "catagories" of kids, they'll dress a certain way, listen to a certain type of music, and hang out with other emo kids. Within that group, it's basically considered cool to cut yourself. It's part of fitting in. So kids will do it to fit in with the group that, for whatever reason, they most identify with. It's essentially that kids are _trying_ to fit the steriotype. Kids who cut for that reason usually show their friends, and often don't even try to hide it from parents or teachers. They're resistent to stopping not so much because they need the release that cutting provides, but because refusing to stop despite the efforts of parents and teachers is part of being emo. That's not what I do, or what a lot of other cutters do. Probably the steriotype shouldn't be that all or most cutters are emo, but rather that a lot of emo people cut themselves, but there is some merit to the steriotype.

1. Who here has cut themself, or has a friend/friends who cuts? I had friends in the past who cut themselves..mostly in the 8th grade*

2. Is this a form of stress relief? I think it is..when you're angry with yourself and you need to "punish yourself"

3. What first caused you (or your friend/s) to try cutting? Things that happened in their home lives..and other aspects of their lives weren't going very well.

4. How many of you have told an adult? I think one my friends told the guidance counseler..*

5. If you haven't told an adult, what is your biggest hurdle in doing so? I think that they were afraid of getting in trouble* And they didn't want to stop*

6. Do you want to stop, and if so, what have you done to re-direct your stress relief? My friends did..I think*

7. How many of you have tried online sites like recoveryourlife.com to cope with cutting? I don't think they did.

8. If it is not too personal, what are your ages and sexes? 15/female.

9. Do you listen to emo? Yes.

10. Is it stereotyping to ask if you listen to emo, or is it true there is a link between this type of music and cutting? It's totally a stereotype..I believe that music is a form of stress-relief..I actually think people listening to Emo music are less likely to cut because they have that release..emo music isn't anthems to cut yourself to..it's to help you by relating to it.*

My friend, she's 25.

Yes stress relief, they just C the pain as a way of Venting Emotional Pain in2 Physical pain & easier 2 cope with.

Ask a battered wife what was easier 2 cope with. Physical pain goes over time, emotional abuse can take years 2 heal.

A difficult situation that she had no control over, the cutting started at the same time.

She told me & I'm an adult.

She wants 2 stop & with support she will. Counselling/anti-depressants. She relieves her stress with Talking.

Said, above.

I don't C any specific connection with Emos &

Music.

Though I should let U know she listens 2 Death Metal/Punk music.

From a psychology point of view, music is a way 4 kids 2 express themselves, so I don't think there's a direct link.

Unless any1 knows better?

A few answers, in reverse order

Heavy metal seems to be associated with depression and cutting.

Teens and early twenties seem to do most of the cutting.

Cutting usually starts after a sexual molestation.

It is a form of letting out the pain of living.

There are some high schools where the cutters actually form clubs. Not a good idea, as they tend to make each other cut more and not less.

Please, if you are a cutter, tell your school nurse , a teacher, the guidance counselor ...somebody. They will ease the way into letting your parents know and help your parents, too

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1. Who here has cut themself, or has a friend/friends who cuts?

I have in the past, 4-5 years ago, in my teens. And i still have friends who currently do self mutliate themselves.

2. Is this a form of stress relief?

It's a source, or stress, pain, and anger relief. it also helps ease confusion, and frustrations. In ancient times, it was not uncommon to self punish oneself, for commiting sin, or doing something they felt was unforgivable. I

3. What first caused you (or your friend/s) to try cutting?

Other people did, it, and they did it often enough to make you think it helped, it was smoking or drinking, everyone knew those were bad, but how can hurting yourself be all that bad? especially if you're going to heal? Most people dont do it to kill themselve,s but do it to feel the actual wound. People trying to kill themselves want to escape the pain. Total opposite ends of the spectrum. MOst cutters will not kill themselves. Its those who dont find ways to vent their feelings that will.

4. How many of you have told an adult?

I never told anyone, friends just sort of knew, the friends that were around the most knew, thats when you know you have real friends, and those friends, are still my friends, thats how important you are to them, it's somethign to remember before cutting yourself. instinctually to them you are weak, and they want to help, sometimes that ruins a friendship, because you dont want to apear weak anymore, even when you stop, they always try to protect you from everything... even little things... you might not notice.

5. If you haven't told an adult, what is your biggest hurdle in doing so?

No, in some, but rare cases, telling an adult can make things worse, especially if you're not cutting to the point where you need the hospital to restore your blood supply. They in somecases, take you away from the same school, or does certain things, that may require some total lifechanges, and your parents get notified, and they wont let you close your bedroom door, or be alone for any length of time, even when you really just want to be alone. I've seen that happen to alot of friends.

6. Do you want to stop, and if so, what have you done to re-direct your stress relief?

I've stopped, i have redirected to, wanting to start a family, and working extra hours, drawing, painting, Writing, reading, making crafts, volunteering, and playing video games, with my husband.

7. How many of you have tried online sites like recoveryourlife.com to cope with cutting?

Never. friends are the ultimate cope.

8. If it is not too personal, what are your ages and sexes?

I'm 22, i was 16-19 when i did it.

9. Do you listen to emo?

No. well some songs.

10. Is it stereotyping to ask if you listen to emo, or is it true there is a link between this type of music and cutting?

There's a link, but only because people can relate to some of the lyrics, and music associate with it. Pop artists generally dont talk about hurting themselves, and rock is more, anger, and vent, and punk, is more anarchy style. So Emo, is a self vent, self express of feelings, or whinning about one's self.

1-I cut, I met someone else online who does.

2-Yeah, I do it to relieve stress. Its like popping a baloon, all the air comes out.

3-It was...there, I guess. No other way. No freinds. Parents are stupid.

4-I havent. Why would I want to? So I could get locked in a padded room?

5-Punishment! Or them thinking im mental.

6-I dont really want to stop. I wont hurt myself in the long run (if you know what i mean).

7-I never knew there was any online sites... I looked but never found any. Just stuff about how the parents are all anal about it.

8-female, 13

9-Just becase I wear black nail polish and cut occasionally doesnt mean Im "emo" or listen to the genre of music. That, my dear is a stereotype I hope you inform people about. Just beacuse you dont cut doesnt make you a happy go lucky cheerleader!

10-Read above.

If you want to talk more about this email me as long as u arnt to anal about it. And please dont quote me word for word. I hate that. And dont use my name. lol. Im secret. muhaha.

1. I have cut myslef and have friends who cut

2. It is a way of feeling physical pain that will replace mental pain and eventually heal and go away.

3.I'm depressed/ hate myself, sick of people around me

4.No

5.They will think i'm stupid, get mad, not take me seriously.

6.I haven't cut in 2 years

7. I haven't and don't no someone who has

8. Female hispanic/ and mixed and 15 look at my profile.

9. i listen to everything but mostly rock

10.Yes that is stereo typing, its just that most cutters like emo but some of my friends are hip/hop and cut. I'm goth/punk. That is stereo typical, just like when people assume racists are white when anyone can be racist.

hope this helps.

1) My friend cuts

2) That is what my friend tells me

3) My friends dad being a *****

4) Not me

5) That they would have to go to a place for crazy ppl

6) I want her to stop. I don't kno is she has tho.

7) Nope

8) My friends was 14 when i found out she did she goin on 18 now. And she is a girl as am I.

9) No

10) Stereotyping in my opinion

Too many questions.

Cutting is in response to a need for justice.

1 yes..

2attention

3 her bf

4 she hasn't

5 idk

6 she has .... been to counciling

7.... no

8. 12 when she did it its a she/shim

9 nope

10 its music get over it