My friend is stuck and don't know how to get out of her marriage situation, please help!?

The culture does favor men, and every time I hear a story like this one it burns me up inside. Unfortunately, there is very little she can do to change that. She has to be strong and firm and she has to use her strenght as the source of her happiness. She has to see that no matter what her husband or any other man, woman or child in the whole world may say about her, the only judgement that matters is her own. If she thinks it's time to leave, then it's time to leave, and the whole world can burn in hell for even daring to judge her.

I know it's a hard thing to do, but we have to realize that the strength to do all the things that must be done is inside us. None else can really help us. Tell your friend to make the decision she can be proud of and that you'll stand by her till the bitter end.

Good luck to your friend :)

Sorry to hear that, she needs reassurance and she's lucky to have you as a friend. Try telling her it could help the relationship if they seperated for awhile. He is a prick for clubbing like that and she is at home with the children. Put him in her shoes, let her take off and go have coffee or something and let him see how it is, she doesn't have to go to a club to prove a point there are other ways. That is a long time to spend with a man and be treated that way, sounds to me he is going through menopause and he will either come out of it when he realizes she is gone or he will move on without her, she needs to know that her life isn't all about a man who cares nothing for her and she can find happiness. So sorry

She can't really worry about what other people think of her.

People will think what they'll think regardless of the facts.

She has to let her health, and sanity, and the health and well-being of her children be the priority here.

Anyone who hasn't lived her life, has no right to pass judgement on her actions.

Where do you live?

You said our culture favors men, I'm thinking that In the U.S., there'd be a whole slew of men who would have the opposite opinion as far as divorce is concerned.

Women are usually the ones who end up with custody of the children, the house, child support, and alimony. It is rare for men to be awarded any of these things.

Okay. For one who cares what other people think. You should tell your "FRIEND" that since this involves kids then that's who she should be thinking about. her happiness and her kids. If the guy wants to be a jerk and keeps telling her these things then its time for her to leave for the sake of her kids. Other people would just have to get over it. It's not their life its hers and her kids. If the guy is doing this then what else is he doing? She needs to do something ASAP. because the longer she waits the longer she is going to be unhappy and that's no good. Not good for her and the kids. Give her some encouragement and let her know that she needs to do the right thing for her kids and forget that jerk. if he dont want her I'm sure there are plenty of guys that are looking for someone to love and treat right.

If she is not happy then she needs to get out. Staying there she is only hurting herself and her kids. I mean does she really want her kids seeing her being treated like that. Abuse can also be mental and emotional (which sounds like what she is going thru). Personally I wouldn't care what everyone else thinks as long as things get better for her and her kids.

Sounds like someones husband has been having an affair.

I would tell your friend to ask her hubby straight out, is he seeing another women. If he denies it he is lying and she should leave. If he says yes, well then she will leave anyway. But in any case she needs to be out of there.

Although there may not be physical signs of abuse, there is such a thing as mental abuse and judging from what you have written I think your friend is being mentally abused.

She needs her freedom. Just tell her she needs to leave her husband.

She is only as trapped as she believes. The fact is she needs to start planning on her future life without him because this marriage is finished and the future is coming fast. It's up to her whether she plans wisely and prepares or just lets circumstances dictate the outcome.

First and foremost, she need to see a lawyer NOW!!! She needs to gather as much evidence as available as to how her husband failed the marriage, whether through adultery, substance abuse, physical and/or verbal abuse, and/or mental instability. And, she needs to file for divorce. She will also need to file for child support and be resolute in seeing that the support is PAID.

If he has made her life a living hell, then she will have to take action to ensure that he pays everything he owes her. Your friend is NOT helpless, but she is going to have to be PROACTIVE to protect her rights and the rights of her child. And, she should also do everything in her power to see to it that his access for visitation is limited as much as possible. He is clearly toxic!

Sweetie,it won't make her look bad because if he does things like that then how long will it be before he starts to hit her.Tell her to get out of the relationship with him he can still do things for his kids and spend time with them just not under the same roof it's not worth it tell him he has to go.

Her happiness and well-being is more important than her reputation (which could change like the wind). She is miserable, and he is hateful. So, she should initiate change if he does not. The kids will adjust in time. Why live in Hell when you have the power to escape it. Heaven may be right around the corner. It was for me.

That is so sad, but unfortunately it is life. Assuming that you know both sides of the story and you are not just vouching for your woman friend, I think it would be best if she just sad this guy down and said, hey listen - you are my husband, I love you, till death do us part.

Love is something that has to be worked for, something that needs to be cultured over time and takes tremendous effort and COMPROMISE. Now I know that I said the same things to my last girlfriend, whom I loved so much it still hurts almost a year ater! But I said those things because I wanted better for her, maybe he wants to see her happier. So I did things to make her leave, when all i really wanted was for her to love me back more, be more affectionate - see if she really loved me and if she would stay, I don't know, I wanted a reaction.

She needs to pull him closer, to let him know that she loves him and that they need each other.

If she did that for me, I konw I'd still be there - guys are funny creatures, we need cuddling and stuff to let us know we are still loved, words aren't always eneough.

They will both regret seperation, it is so hard on everyone.

Best of luck!

In a nutshell, tell her to make sure she gives him 250% of herself and if she thinks that he still hates her, then she needs to leave, but she needs to give it her all, and so does he.

=) Your a good friend.