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Need advise about my relationship with my father?
I am 31, when I was 8 my parents divorced and my father remarried when I was 10. The woman he married to this day make my skin crawl, she drove a wedge between me and him and it is still there. I know she didn't do it alone, he allowed her to.
Here I am now, 21 years down the road and my grandmother pasted away a few weeks ago. She is literally the only reason I had been around all this time. Because I had been on the outside for so many years I was vertually a stranger at my grandmothers funeral. People didn't even know who I was or was affraid to talk to me b/c it had been so long. When it came to the Lady's Auxilary Ceremony they did, everyone in my immediately except myself (my dad, his wife, my aunt her kids and their spouces) all sat in the front, no one gave me a seat, I sat in the back and cried b/c they literally couldn't muster the strength to say anything, plus it wasn't the time or place.
Now I feel a void like I have no relationship with my dad.
4 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Being a daughter is a special thing and wanting to have a bond with your father is quite normal! It sounds if you are wanting to break the ice and become involved in your fathers life but really don't know how to go about it! As you get older things tend to be thought about more often and not feeling the love and respect that you so deserve and need from your father is at this time taking it's toll on you! Try calling him, writing him, or even meeting him somewhere, where it's just the two of you and speak your feeling towards all that's been building up inside you for all these years! You need to be heard even if he turns the other cheek, that way at least you'll have the inner peace knowing you did in your heart what you've thought over and over in your mind for so many years! Don't hold back, you need to be heard, he needs to know how his actions have effected your life and the way his siding with his new wife has made you feel! Good Luck and Deepest sympathy!
- rkrellLv 71 decade ago
You have to also take responsibility for allowing her to build this wedge between you and your father. Take a look at your own actions and then take time to write to your dad and tell him how you feel without pointing fingers or making accusations. If you want a relationship you have to tell him so and you have to accept that he will always put her before you. This relationship can be repaired but you are going to have to take the major steps to make it happen.
- 1 decade ago
Well My dad got remarried when i was 10 too and she had a kid from her other marriage and she did not like me at all and my dad was driving me away. Well I got married and had a kid and my dad and I got close again and we both worked on the relationship and I finally worked on the relationship with my step mom and sister. To this day we are a family now because it opened my dad's eyes when i had my son. and that's when my step mom and I started working on are relationship and now I get along with all of them. The other reason i did not get along with my dad and step family is because my mother would talk a lot of bull **** about both of them
Source(s): there is a time in your life that you just need to let things go and grow up and be the bigger person - nwnativeprincessLv 61 decade ago
WRITE HIM A LETTER AND EXPLAIN YOUR TRUE FEELINGS, THEN MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. LEARN TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE PROBLEMS AND DEAL WITH THEM. DON'T WORRY MORE THAN IS NECESSARY.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
