just had to share this one.....tee heee heeee?

A DOG'S DIARY

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

11 pm - Oh boy!

Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

A CAT'S DIARY

Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre

little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am

forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the

hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the

furniture. Tomorrow I

may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to

kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking

almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an

attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again

induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on

their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in

an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to

try to

strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about

what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in

solitary throughout the event! . However, I could hear the noise and

smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was

due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is

and

how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The

dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is

obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an

informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my

every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety

is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time……