Do you know some jokes that poke fun at religion? Tell me please?

This takes place back in biblical times....A crowd of people are standing in a circle, stoning a woman for being an adultress. Suddenly, Jesus appears, and in a booming voice, demands of the crowd, "WHO AMONG YOU IS WITHOUT SIN THAT YE CAN CAST THE FIRST STONE?!". Well, all the people are ashamed, and, one by one, they drop their stones...all but one woman, at the rear of the crowd. She drops her stone, alright, but she picks up a huge boulder, wings it at the woman, clocks her in the head, and kills her, dead.....at which point, Jesus says....

"Dammit, Mom, sometimes you really piss me off!!!"

(I realize this joke may be considered blasphemy by some. Sorry)

In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."

Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."

Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"

In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."

I,m Jewish~yet I understand your catch 22 situation. you're able to desire to take a seat together with her~ and tell her merely how very heavily injury over her consistent poking relaxing and laughter over your faith. Ask her why, with all the hatred in this international might she choose for to act this way with you-once you the two have been such close pals. tell her to think of approximately all the hatred and Anti-Semitism that Jewish human beings have persevered. Ask her if she thinks that it,s ok. to hate-poke relaxing-or hate Jews? Then firmly yet gently tell her which you have been no longer something better than an outstanding and loving chum to her, yet which you assume a similar from her-or tell her-"our friendship will might desire to end" and might,nt that be unhappy whilst all she has to do is be respectful. you additionally can point out that there are Christian,s that do push their faith-yet which you,re no longer certainly one of them. If she will,t handle your honesty-and does,nt make a concerted attempt to end. Say so long.She,s no longer a actual chum! shame i particular want that i ought to tell her how incorrect she is to act in this way. You sound like an fairly candy lady-merely don,t enable each and every physique to place you down, no longer in any way.

here is one and you can change the punch line to fit any religion:

a man dies and goes up to the pearly gates and meets saint peter, saint peters ask him what religion was he on earth , the man replys none i am just a beliver so he turns him over to a angel and the angel takes him to a long corriddor and tell him to look inside and choose him one to walk around and meet the people , the first door he open is a babtist one he goes and talke a bit a comes out, the second door is mthodist one he does the same thing , again he opens the third one it is catholic and he spends some time there ..(punch line) he stops at the 4th door and before he opens it the angel stops him and says all you can do is peek inside and let no one see you .. he open the door a inch and see men and women yelling and rolling on the floor and he quickly closed the door and asked the angel why he could not go inside as before,, the angel reply cause they were holiness and they think there the only ones here.... i mean not to affend anyone and if i did i am sorry

A man is going on a hike in the Grand Canyon, but he's tired of lugging his stuff around by himself.

He passes a Church by the side of the road and sees a donkey tied up in back.

He asks the reverend if he can borrow the donkey for a pack animal.

The reverend says "Sure. But he's a religious donkey. If you want him to go you have to say "Praise the Lord". If you want him to stop you have to say "Amen"."

The man agrees and loads his stuff onto the donkey, gets on, and starts out again.

After a while he starts nodding off but wakes up just in time to see the donkey about to go off a cliff.

He yells "Amen! Amen! Amen!" The donkey stops within inches of the edge.

"Whew! Praise the Lord!" said the man.

Jesus walks into a hotel, put 3 nails on the counter and says, "can you put me up for the night?"

this one is a visual.......Stand with your arms spread wide & bent head down then ask people what is this?....

A :a really bad way to spend easter.

then there was the insomniac dyslexic athiest who laid awake all night and wondered if there really is a dog

peter i can see your house from here...bet ya know that one

I have a religious joke....

A husband hiswife and his mother-in-law took a trip to Jerusalem

On the trip the mother-in-law dies. A man tells him he could bury her body there for $500 dollars or have her shipped back to their home town for $3,000.

The husband says I think I'll have her shipped back home. The mans says, but why? If you bury her here it'll be a lot cheaper. The husband says, yeah I know but a man was buried here and 3 days later he rose. I just can't take that chance.....LOL.........

ok there is this one joke:

a guy is on an airplane and is a very devout Buddhist when the plane starts to lurch then dive...oh Buddha Buddha save me...he is then ejected from the airplane and is falling and he said Buddha Buddha save me and then the hand of Buddha comes from the sky and saves the man from falling...

He says whew thank God ...splat the hand squashes him on the ground...

A burglar breaks into a house and starts looking around, he hears a voice saying to him Jesus is watching you. The burglar, swings his flashlight around the room and see no one there, as he resumes his search, he again hears a voice "Jesus is watching you." He swings his light around again and sees a parrot on a perch near the ceiling. "Oh, hello pretty parrot." says the burglar, "What is your name?"

"Moses." Answered the bird.

"Moses?" laughed the burglar, "What kind of people name their parrot Moses?"

"Well," said Moses "The same kind of people who name their Rottweiler Jesus."

There are countless websites online with jokes about everything under the sun. That's your best bet.