How do I deal with someone that feels the need to tell me all his medical problem?

Question

I promised to take him for the colonoscopy but now he tells me he is making funeral arrangements.  I really don't want to get that involved an I'm just trying to help him out.  Now it is bothering me to the point that I just don't want anything to do with him although he is a nice man.  I have my own problems, work, daughter, grandkids, boyfriends but I do feel sorry for him because I believe he is scared.  Plus he has asked me to take care of his family if he dies.  I cannot do that.  What do I do or how do handle this?

sweeta : · Accepted Answer

What kind of relation do you have with this "someone?"  It's tough to answer that unless it is known what relation he is.  But assuming he's a friend who is lonely and scared...

Stick to the promise of taking him for the colonoscopy.  If he's wanting sympathy and feeling very depressed, then you might be a supportive friend.  You do not owe this person your life.   He has no right to bear all his weight on you.  There are professionals and support groups for this, I'm sure.  You might offer to help find a support group and take that extra time to help him find it.  If he would rather wallow in his problems, then let him know that you are not able to help if he is not willing to help himself.  

Gosh...asked you to take care of his family?  There are so many questions surrounding that issue.  Again, assuming he's just a friend...he needs to get his resources together to plan out his family's situation.  It is NOT your burden, and it's okay to tell him that it's not fair for him to place it on you.  But try to guide him to where he can go to get the answers.  I don't know if this was any help.  You just didn't give enough information about who this person is in your life.  Good luck.

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How do I deal with someone that feels the need to tell me all his medical problem?

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