how to be strong after a break up?

Question

i'm 25 and my bf is in his early 40's. I only broke up with him 4 days back. I was fine for those days and now i feel pain and soar in my heart. i feel like calling him back and to be with him. I called him ealier but he's not answering my calls. The reason we broke up was becoz he has high level of susicions against me and he loves to link me with other men.He abuses me mentally and he treats me like a small Kid. Many times i told him i was a clan girl and i only had him in my heart but he still doubts me.i went thru this treatment for 2 years.the final straw was tht i shouted at him and told him he was overly possessing me. tht's it. he told me i wanted other men that's why i was condeming him. i didn't condemn him, i just wantd him to know how i felt. NOw i feel so much pain. wat should I do?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm sorry you are hurting. But I am going to be honest with you,It's called normal to feel pain after a break up. My only concern is what exactly was it that was going for you and him your compatability? And by the sounds of it he wasn't the nicest to you if he emotionally/mentally abuses you why would you concider calling him why because it would gratify you intantly just to hear his voice or make any kind of contact with him but remember it would only last temporarily.As soon as he rejected you or put you down all the hurt will come rushin in and hit like a ton of bricks to your heart. And each time we allow ourselves to except what people give to us in return of our kindness, caring, loyalty and love, we are killing our soul and forming our feeling to suppress our pain even more, creating a new image of ourselves that in enough time and enough abuse and unhealthy relationships we become someone unfamiliar even to our family's and friends. You are to young to let this happen to you so release and let go you will still go through the steps of heartache , but you will be one step closer to freedom and control of you. Take your life back and begin to live. Also take with you what you have learned from this relationship and know what not to look for in the next  man.Each day gets easier , stay busy.Goodluck

nissdonna · Answer

Being with an abusive person says alot about you, your childhood, etc... I f you had a unloving unaffectionate father or no father at all growing up that results in finding a man as you have, and the wanting to pleaase, obey and strive for daddys love continues, it's a pattern
I know after 4 yrs of abuse that there will come the time when  he will hurt you to the extreme, many die, I lived, I couldn't understand why I still loved him afterwards but he went to prison, he is out now, but I moved far away to make my mind control things otherwise my heart would've had  me right there with him again,,,

i&#39;m_not_the_same · Answer

chill, girl. the pain you feel are remnants of his mistreating you. my concerned advice: go out there and meet new people, but don't fall so easily now that you've taken the forbidden apple. hey, past hurts are good lessons. so to be strong, go out with your friends on friday or saturday nights and meet new people. and cry out the pain too, or if you stop yourself from crying the pain will grow and grow. after being finished crying and being busy going out again, you'll be thinking,
"you are a loser cause you let someone like me go."

note:
i think your guys is insecure with you that's why he did that.

blue_eyed_woman_of_3 · Answer

Be very strong he is being controlling and mental abuse is not on in any relationship....get some  counselling and start liking yourself for who you are and not through someone elses eyes.

Anonymous · Answer

by dating me

CJ B · Answer

gl.

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how to be strong after a break up?

6 Answers