If someone farts in public, what is the appropriate response?

Depends on who they are with respect to you. Further, it depends on the situation.

Read on...

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Q: There are many employees like myself in the work environment with irritable bowel syndrome. One of my symptoms is excessive flatulence, which became an issue in a previous position. When I had my own office, I could shut my door, light incense or a candle, and spray air fresheners.

But dealing with IBS in a cubicle or open office setting is very different. Excusing myself and walking out of the area is not always an option. How do you recommend addressing this issue with management and other employees and fellow gym participants?

V.V., Lynn

A: Thank you for having the courage to bring up a very difficult subject. I believe that the key to situations like yours is knowledge, because with knowledge comes understanding. First, seek and heed your doctor's advice regarding foods and medicines that will help reduce your tendency to pass gas. The next step is to clue in your co-workers about your problem. When people know the underlying reason, they're much more likely to tolerate what would normally be considered rude behavior, and it usually becomes ''no big deal." In fact, once they understand the situation, your co-workers can even work with you to help minimize the effects.

http://www.boston.com/business/articles/2005/11/20...

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Who Farts Most?

Irrespective of the diet, loosing some 12 to 40 'winds' (that is, 0.5 to 2.0 litres of gas) per day is normal, and concerns should only be raised if these numbers are significantly exceeded.

The cellulose in vegetables cannot be digested, therefore vegetarians produce more gas than people with a mixed diet. There is no difference in the chemistry of male and female digestion, hence men and women emit the same amounts of gas. However, men apparently have more fun doing it.

Animals' Farts:

Dogs' farts are really hard to stand. Their gases could be caused by:

--- Milk (especially if the pet is lactose-intolerant)

--- Carbohydrates like sugar, starch, and soybeans. Soybeans can make up a significant proportion of pet food.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A673508

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Dear Miss Manners,

Let's say someone passes gas. They say, "Excuse me." Do you say, "You are excused"? My wife does this … I find it strange.

Gentle Reader,

Miss Manners has something even stranger for you: Etiquette's way of dealing with things that shouldn't happen is to pretend that they didn't.

So you—or, rather, that unfortunate "someone"—need not say, "Excuse me." And you are right that the response of "You are excused" has an unnecessarily imperious feel to it, as if you could equally well have refused.

Admittedly, the definition of things that shouldn't happen is arbitrary. Passing gas meets the definition, although, oddly enough, burping does not—unless you are doing it on purpose, in which case stop that this very minute.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/Article.asp...

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Dear Amy,

I know this will seem like a very strange question, but I am asking seriously and don't know who else would answer this. In public restrooms, like at ISU, is there any particular etiquette for passing gas? I am not speaking of the low volume, quick fart, but of the monster, blow-yourself-off-of-the-toilet variety. It is a problem because it is embarrassing, but where do you do it? Is it rude to just let it all go?

All Gassed Up With nowhere To Go

Dear All Gassed Up,

I have never heard of any type of etiquette in regards to passing the funk. I don't think it is possible to be eloquent and graceful while passing gas just because of the sheer nature of it.

The answer to your question is no, it is not rude to let it all go. That's what bathrooms are designed for. Yeah, we're socialized to think it's gross, but only because of the smell. If caca smelled like Tommy Hilfiger cologne, we wouldn't mind be so self-conscious about it. We'd try to capture it and make money off it.

Besides who really cares. We all do it. Some keep it to them selves and some are prod off it. The louder the better they feel about them selves. Do you know a guy that hasn't let one go around you and said something like " Now, that felt good."?

http://www.isubengal.com/media/storage/paper275/ne...

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Smelling the Invisible:

We've all been there; a small group of people talking, sharing some laughter and anecdotes about the day when suddenly it becomes obvious that an odor is penetrating the environment, and it's not a pleasant thing.

Someone passes gas, or does an "OOPS!", and although nobody says anything, everybody knows. What should a socially successful person do in a case like this?

Option One: Quickly excuse yourself and get away from the smell whether you did the deed or not, waving the air as you go.

Option Two: Nonchalantly say, "Somebody's got an upset stomach!" and rock back authoritatively on your heels, watching while people look around at each other wondering who has the bad tummy.

Option Three: Blame it on the dog (if there's one around). Loudly exclaim, "Rover has no manners! Outside with you boy!" and then leave with him quickly.

Option Four: Twirl around really fast several times to get the air flowing and blow away the odor.

Option Five: Divert everyone's attention away from the smell by spilling your drink, falling down, or yelling "Fire!"

Option Six: Don't say anything, but look really uncomfortable and guilty, stopping all conversation until you feel compelled to exit the group.

http://www.corporate-business-executive-etiquette....

The appropriate British response in polite company is not to mention it, but disavow it by means of a tiny awkward nod, eyebrow furrow, nose twitch or lip turn- or any sequence of these just enough so everyone is clear you are disapproving and definitely not the perpetrator.

In a lift (elevator) a laboured blown exhalation and a 'Hmm' may be added to underline the fact this is the ultimate faux-pas.

Response 1: Sorry, I had a very big lunch( whatever meal you had)

Response 2: I didn't hear anything. If it was a fart, it was probably you.

Response 3: What the....who just farted. Nasty....just nasty!

Smile sweetly at them, then slowly inch away from them. You having not screamed at them to go # 2 is already giving them gratitude ESPECIALLY in a public place. Whatever you do, just don't stay there!

Simply telling them that is not something you wish to share and could they politely excuse themselves next time. That is really gross. And I doubt anything you could say would matter to someone who would even think of doing this. God bless

In polite company, nobody would be able to tell that you noticed that it happened. In impolite company, you should comment on volume, pitch, odor, and hang time.

It should not be done in public however if it is I would say one should say excuse me.

say "dude what the f)uck crawled up your a)ss and died" Tell them "I have never smelt a fart like that" (make sure your making the throw up face while waving your hand in front of your nose) make sure your as loud as you can, bring as much attention to this offender of clean air as you can.

Scream and yell 'my eyes' and fall to the ground clutching your eyes.

or

Pretend it didn't happen

i wouldn't know who did it.

so most of the time, i just cover my nose and walk awayyyyyyyy