Do kids at some point or another hit no matter what?

"In service" sounds ridiculous. I've read her answers. She mentions alot "spanking is bad because it teaches kids it's okay for someone older or bigger to hit you". Well it's not right to do that but it's okay to teach your kids "If someone hurts you, you can make them do stuff for you the rest of the day"? Whatever..

I think all kids hit in one time or another. It doesn't matter how their disciplined. I too agree with spanking, and usually the kids who are don't hit.

LOL, I have seen that many times. I know many kids who have never been spanked a day in their life, look like Mike Tyson out on the play ground. I agree, I don't think spanking (if done right) teaches hitting what so ever.

If my girls hit (very rarely, if at all) they get spanked period. Granted I am not talking about them playing, I am talking about them trying to hurt someone. I am not sure if it is just that they are girls and they don't hit very often, or their smart enough to know how sour their bottoms will be should they try it.

I am also not for the modern day swat to the bottom that some parents call a spanking. It's either to light to have any impact or could be border line abusive. For example an angry parent storms up to a child with rage in their eyes, grabs a hold of their arm, and gives them a whack. I think in some ways kids could relate that to hitting. That's not what we consider a spanking.

For our girls we do a more old fashioned style, from the 50s which I think works wonders - First we are always calm, we make her go sit on her bed and think about why she has earned a spanking. Then have a quick talk to ensure she understands why she is being punished. Then take her pants and panties down (very important, you will be amazed how much better your results are by doing this) put her over your lap and spank her bottom at least a good dozen or more times. After she has calmed down go have a little talk about how this type of behavior will not be acceptable anymore and that we love her to much to allow it. all of this is followed by lots of hugs, and kisses (very important!)

My girls ages 3, 7, and 10 don't think of spanking as hitting, they think of it as a consequence that we enforce for rule breaking.

I think the only time 'no spanking' doesn't work is when there is nothing there to replace it. I see children who are not spanked but the parents do not discipline at all - this is neglect and that is where the problems come in.

I don't believe in spanking and I do agree that it does teach that it okay to hit. The 'Do as I say and not as I do' rule does not work with all children. They learn by example. A child who is spanked when they misbehave will likely try to dicipline another child in kind. Not something I want to start with my children.

The problem here is that many pro-spankers actually believe that it is the one and only form of effective discipline. That is so untrue. I know some kids who are spanked but still run amok and drive their parents crazy and I also know some who are not spanked and are very well behaved.

BTW - Is that your baby in the picture? She's beautiful - I wouldn't be able to hit a child like that.

I'm not against spanking but the only thing i don't like about it is that it most the time only teaches them that they will punished for doing what every they did wrong. Doesn't teach them the true meaning of why they shouldn't do it. For example if they are going to touch something that will burn them or shock them and you spank them, they may very well never do it again or think twice. But they still don't get the meaning of why they couldn't touch what ever it was. Its more about educating them than anything else. So if you're going to spank then make sure you get down on their level after you do it and explain why you don't want them touching the object. Also children tend to be selfish by nature, its our jobs as parents to teach them to share and play nicely. Children also don't know how to control their compulsions to touch stuff because of curiosity, its just another thing we have to teach them in life. Remember also, believe it or not kids crave structure in their lives, so stick by what you know is right.

I spank my children when they do something that is going to hurt them or someone else. If my son tries to run in a crowded parking lot, I am not going to give him a time out. Different behaviors call for different discipline. People that do spank their children do not "hurt" their children. No parent likes to spank their child. (Sorry, I had to say that. Some people on here really need to get a grip and stop living in their little fantasy world.) Kids need discipline. People wonder why our schools need medal detectors in them. It's because parents are afraid of parenting their children. The ones that refuse to spank and let their kids run wild are lazy.

Children will hit regardless if you spank them or not. They know they will get a reaction if they do it. They also learn from other children. I, for one, am not going to keep my child living in a bubble away from all children because I am afraid of them hitting. That is ridiculous.

I would rather spank my child for a bad behavior then use them as "slaves" for the day. That is humiliating for a child and can really ruin their self esteem. When you spank, they know what they did wrong right then and then their punishment is done. but using them as a slave all day long will just make kids angry all day long and at the end of the day they will have forgotten why they were treated like slaves to begin with. That is just horrible.

ETA: I just wanted to say that parents really need to check their anger level before they spank. For example, my son climbed up my 52 inch TV and pushed a glass candle onto the floor and it shattered right in front of my one year old. I was VERY angry. I just picked up my oldest son and put him in his room. He knew he was bad and he didn't even ask to come out. After I cleaned up the mess and calmed down, I went in to talk to him about it. In this case I didn't spank because I was too upset. I just got him out of my face and calmed down before I talked to him.

I do think it doesn't matter if kids are spanked or not--they hit anyway. Some kids can be a little more aggressive when they hit but they all do it eventually. I do spank from time to time and I have noticed that the only time my son (2) hits is when he is defending himself from his cousins, etc. Other than that he is very mild mannered and has not tried to hit for any other reason. My sister does not spank and her kids are complete bullies. They play rough with their father all the time and are constantly hitting and punching. I think it is all about how you raise them to be and what you teach them is appropriate. Good call!

I think it depends on the situation. If my child is putting himself in a life threating situation. ( Like running through a parking lot from me) I will spank his bottom. Does this teach my child to hit? No, I don't think so. They have to do something really very bad to get spanked at my house. There are other ways to handle things. I remember being spanked as a child. It made me nervous and it made me hate my parents. People can do things however they want....that's just how it is.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with spankings now and then for the right reasons. I DO think that ALL kids will hit at some point in there youth, just to see what happens. Each parent has different methods of discipline. Find what works for you and your child and don't worry about what others think. Your child will love you no matter what!

I think some kids hit no matter what. Parents who spank (or don't spank) and have the fortune to have kids that don't hit will hold up their method of discipline as the "right" way. Not to say that discipline isn't necessary, of course.

That said, I absolutely do not believe in spanking in any way, shape or form. We are parents, we are human, we get angry - when our method of discipline is to hit our children there is always the risk of that anger getting out of hand. YOU might never lose control but what about your neighbor disciplining their children? You are the parent, you are supposed to shelter your children from harm, not cause it.

Also, how can you justify hitting your kids to tell them not to hit? All you're telling them is that they can't hit because they're not mommy. Wait until they "play mommy" and smack someone else.

Kids generally need to learn how to be civilized, so it is not surprising that almost all kids will hit inappropriately at some time or another.

It's a challenge to raise a child with the right amount of assertiveness so that if they are struck by someone else they can protect themselves from being hurt. How can you learn to protect yourself without occasionally hitting someone inappropriately? It's the adult's job to coach.

Some children never need spanking to learn. My older daughter turned to me at age 3 and said "you didn't need to swat my butt. you could have just yelled." And she was right. The very act of gentle swatting offended her self dignity. She preferred angry words.

The younger daughter needed firmer handling to learn lessons. Yet I never spanked her. She learned with time outs and being grounded.

I don't believe the beatings I got as a child served any purpose other than to learn to stay out of the way of irrational angry adults who couldn't control themselves. It taught me to hide things from adults so I wouldn't get the stick.

After working in daycares and schools etc as well as being a nanny I do NOT believe that spanking causes kids to hit other people. I would say it would go the other way. Kids who aren't spanked are spoiled and more likely to lash out when they don't get their way. Kids who are spanked know that there is a consequence for their actions and don't usually go around smacking people. Children who are spanked by loving parents in the right way do not see it as one person hitting another but rather as a punishment for a crime.