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is it okay for my 7yr. old daughter to hold hands with a boy at school?

I don't want to scare her but I don't want to set the wrong example

that may lead to more diffcult problems in the future.

32 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I wouldn't punish her for it, but I would let her know that she wont get to date boys until she is older and there will be plenty of time to have boyfriends.

    Now it is probably just cute and innocent. Just give her the rules. Pass on your values. Explain things at her level. Look at the big pictures and take a deep breath. Everything is on schedule and perfectly normal. I remember being 7 and having crushes on boys!

  • 1 decade ago

    I see preschoolers holding hands, smiling, running around the playground etc. and it seems very free spirited and natural. I worked for a non-traditional preschool where the kids were allowed to create and explore and call you by your first name ( I didn't like that part at all given my upbringing) , yet I saw something magical in the communication of holding hands. A young girl from India and a little American blonde headed boy were constantly holding hands. They had a language barrier, but they found a connection with each other that said "I like you". Holding hands does not always mean that their hormones are raging or that they like the other child in a sexual way. However, if parents and caregivers are not privy to what is going on with children that do so, then problems could arise down the road as they will see no bounds to their relationship and ideas can turn into actions. It is perfectly natural to befriend someone in such a way that you would trust them enough to hold their hand and care about them enough to continually do so. It shows that she is a caring and compassionate individual. Don't turn something seemingly innocent into a large problem. Children will begin to think something is wrong with them and their nature.

    If the school isn't open to free spirited behavior and has strict guidelines, then let your child know this right away. If not, then have the teacher and administrators monitor their relationship, just as they would with any other.

    Source(s): My son absolutely adores a little girl from Asia. I think it is the striking differences between us as individuals that draws our attention and intrigue. He has gotten her little gifts and such, but has never held her hand. His school has very strict guidelines and he is very aware of them. However, this doesn't keep him from smiling at her and thinking of how smart and funny she is. :)
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am having the same problem, I was also wondering if it was normal. My daughter, 7yrs old, told her father she likes a boy at school. I asked if she likes him as a friend,she said yeah and he may be "a tinsy bit cute". So I was worried, I just told her it is ok for you to have friends that are boys there is nothing wrong with that. I don't think they even grasp the concept of boyfriend and girlfriend or anything at that age. There are kids out there that are well beyond there years though and seen things they shouldn't. I wouldn't be worried about your daughter, I would be worried about the other kids and there influences.

    I would have the talk with her about touching that is ok and touching that is not ok,so she doesn't question anything. So she knows good touching from bad touching. Holding hands with a boy, just let her know that he can be her friend, and they shouldn't hold hands though.

    Also be glad you have that open line of communication with your daughter that is very important to have. I feel that this is a stage that they go through around this age, I would just keep talking with her so you'll know whats going on in her life. That way there is no reason to worry. I seen some comments saying that this leads to sex...blah, blah, blah. These are probably people who have no experience with children or parents who do not have an open line of communication with there children and are not aware of what there child is going through at school. I would suggest to you mothers talk with your child. I have two other friends that also say this is normal for them to start realizing boys are a different than girls and to develop innocent crushes, I would keep an eye on your child and make sure it does not go beyond an innocent crush.

    Good luck!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It sounds fine to me as long as it's purely innocent and that you know for a fact that both of the children are being silly and not serious about it. There's nothing wrong with school children having crushes. That's how pairing up starts, right? The person who said it would lead to 10yr old pregnancy isn't too smart. You know if they are taking it too far and can break it up quickly. She's 7, not 13. It's not like she hanging out after school for long periods of time or going over to a boys house and spending a lot of time over there.

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  • ?
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    I agree there's a decrease except the newborn is bodily disabled or has some psychological incapacities. i could sit down down as a family members unit, and are available to an contract on a thank you to attitude the difficulty of potty training her. that's significant to to have consistancy at the two properties and in any preschool/daycare placing. That on my own can settle on the difficulty. My wager is the if it is the youngest newborn or basically newborn for the mum, that's allowing her to maintain the daughter her "infant" and might additionally be the rationalization she isn't potty experienced desirable now. it relatively is somewhat milestone for oldsters and enables the newborn greater independence and a few people have subject with that. Her scientific expert can even have some effective pointers to get you the place you have chose to be with this situation.

  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, it's OK. It's very innocent and cute. They're still just young children, and after a while, it'll probably stop on it's own. After all, the ever present cootie threat will see to that! Has it gone beyond just hand holding, though? Be careful--that first kiss can be embarrassing for a small child! Mainly, insofar as it doesn't get her in trouble at school, it should be OK.

  • 1 decade ago

    Isn't it sad that you even have to ask that question? Holding hands used to be just that, HOLDING HANDS!!!!!!!Now we see that and think something ""SEXUAL" might be involved or perceived by others that way. Most school will NOT ALLOW THIS.I'm surprised you haven't gotten a letter. I wish I could say don't worry but I honestly can't in todays society. Oh, for the "Little house on the Prairie days!"

  • 1 decade ago

    I think it's just a stage they go thru around that age. My niece ( 7yrs old) would go around in school and kiss the boys on the cheeks. She did that for a little bit no matter how many times my brother would tell her not to do that and then one day she just stopped doing that. I think she will be OK.

  • 1 decade ago

    No, first holding hands then kissing behind the school next a teenage mother. You do what you want to, but no child of mine is hold anyones hands other than her fathers or her brothers.

  • 1 decade ago

    My son held hands with a girl when he was in 2nd grade last year, and I got a phone call from the school saying that it was inappropriate and that he could be ex- spelled from school for that.

    To me it was innocent, but I also see where the school is coming from.

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