What would be the reasons a man would not put his wifes obituary in the local paper.?

Question

First this man was mean and abusive to his wife.  Second he's an alcoholic.  Third he's an insurance salesman, Life and Health.
The woman held a job at the local hospital for 20 years, had many friends and 3 loving kids and several grandkids.  She lived in the same community for over 35 years and lived a somewhat nice middle class life.
Why on earth would her husband absolutely refuse to put any kind of obituary in the newspaper.  Even after the woman's children said they would be happy to write one and pay for it themselves...?
I think it sounds shady to me.
I think he has a "girlfriend" on the side to begin with before the womans death.  (She died from cancer, but had signs of abuse when she entered the hospital for the last time.  By this time she hhad cancer in her brain and could not speak clearly.)
What reason's are there (other than cost) for not allowing an obituary to be placed in the local paper?

Katrine · Accepted Answer

The particulars of that marriage sound very sad and difficult.  I am not sure why he would not announce the funeral, even if he was unfaithful etc.  It is possible he was mean-spirited enough to deny his wife a funeral where all her friends could come to pay their respects.  However, even if your suspicions are correct and he did somehow physically hurt her before her death, I don't see how not announcing her funeral would have a bearing on his guilt.  If anything, if he was guilty of all you're suggesting -- infidelity, an insurance plot and of really hurting her leading up to and just before her death --  it would be in his interest to announce the funeral and to have nothing out of the ordinary and to appear as a grieving husband.

Those particulars aside, a common reason that widows or widowers will not post obituaries is because it is an announcement to thieves to break into their house while the funeral is taking place.  Additionally, it gives the address of someone who is alone and vulnerable.

bonhommecretienne · Answer

I am familiar with a family which declined to publish a spouse's death notice because they did not want to know the survivor was living alone.

cork · Answer

FUNERAL HOME MAY HAVE DROPPED THE BALL.
THATS WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SENDING IN OBIT

AND BESIDES MANY FAMILIES WHO HOLD PRIVATE SERVICES DON'T WANT AN OBIT LISTED..

IF KIDS WANT ONE  THEY CAN LIST A FAMILY -NOTICE OF PASSING.

mikesheppard · Answer

what business is it of yours if he does or doesn't put an obit in the paper?  

not only that...if the kids want one - they they can put one in the paper....it's a free country.

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What would be the reasons a man would not put his wifes obituary in the local paper.?

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