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My son who is in Kindergarten has started biting a little girl in his class.?

It started the week before Thanksgiving, it happened again today and he was suspened for a day. I am at the end of my rope. We have taken things away from him, made him sit in his room, "clean" the bathroom (the school suggested giving him a chore) giving him extra school work at home, but nothing seems to work. At school he is now not able to eat with his class and will spend recess in a 4th grade classroom. They think at school that he likes the girl, which I agree with. He was never a biter when he was little. He knows that it hurts, that she does not like it and it is not OK. I think because he is not doing it to be mean (which does not make it OK) he does not think he is doing anything wrong. He did ask to give her a hug but she said no (do you blame her?) Any suggestions on how to get him to stop would be great. Thanks.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I am no expert, however, I would start by asking the teachers to be patient for a week or so while you try some intensive work with him. Get a good book on the topic to be safe. However, my gut tells me to work on positive reinforcement for a solid week. I noticed the difference in my son depending on our reaction. When he first started hitting (it was slightly funny) he whacked me with a toy square on the head. It hurt. From that point on, we make a point of vocally cheering him every time he does something physical which is appropriate/gentle/nice. When he does something rough/rude/inappropriate we do the exact opposite. He still hits occasionally, but far gentler and much less frequently. If you work with him intensively for a week guiding him to do nice things and really emphasizing how happy you are,i believe he can be encouraged to stop biting. Possibly even mock bite and show your displeasure (pretend bites between parents). Whatever, you do, don't laugh when they hit etc. because its 100% sure that they are looking for your reaction.

  • 1 decade ago

    Not sure how the classroom is set up, but if there is an extra adult (such as an classroom aide) they could shadow him (especially during transitions). Perhaps help him to make friends with the girl. Get the two of them involved in a fun activity together (w/the adult closely supervising). If he likes her, perhaps he is unsure of how to engage her in play, or get her attention other than biting. Which so far has REALLY got her attention, right? Repalce the negative with positive, for both her and your son. Help them to cutlivate a realtionship. If the school is unable or unwilling to help in this way, maybe you can do this through a play date. If the girl's parent(s) are aware of the incidents, talk to them and let them know youa re concerned and want to find a happy resolution for all. Ask if they mioght be interested in doing a coffee/playdate with you and your son. Like in the school example, make sure you stay close and get the tow of them engaged in play with each other.

    Source(s): Playschool Teacher, Elementary School Educational Aid, Home Childcare Provider, Mom of 3
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    The key to stopping a certain behavior is to find out what is causing it. What is going on just right before the biting incidents? Is he having problems with transitions? Is he getting enough sleep at night? Is he over stimulated under stimulated? etc. Instead of the school punishing your son they should be working with you not only to understand the problem but to help come up with possible solutions. I would suggest that you speak with the school to find out ways in which you can work together as a team to find out some of the answers to these questions.

    Source(s): Early Childhood Educator and Parent
  • 1 decade ago

    I am going through the same thing with my son. He tried to be friends with a kid in his class and the kid said no so he bit him. the first time he was suspended for a day. Then he did it again to the same kid. They called the police on him. If he would have been six at the time he would have been taking to the juvenile detention center. After he went back to school he was so afraid that the police officer was gonna come back that he hasn't acted up even once. I know that is not the answer you are looking for but I just wanted you to know your not alone. My heart goes out to you.

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  • 5 years ago

    till you have some good reason to believe your son desires to be held back, start up him this year. If preschool instructors have suggested that he would not seem to have the talents or adulthood (emotional, behavioral, social, or academic) for kindergarten yet, then you definately would evaluate protecting him back (i could bypass communicate with the faculty first, nonetheless, to be sure what they propose and why). yet do not in basic terms carry him back because of the fact he's a boy. My daughter turns 5 in August, below 2 weeks formerly our college's cutoff. She does seem lots youthful than the toddlers who grew to become 5 final fall ... and she or he's additionally somewhat small for her age, so she heavily sounds like she's too youthful for kindergarten. yet she would be in a position to maintain on with guidelines, take turns, be sure conflicts, make friends, write her call, study ordinary words, become attentive to letters and numbers, etc. i'm particular she's waiting for kindergarten. So i bypass to deliver her. somebody should be the youngest ... If I held her back it may be the youngster with the birthday formerly hers. and that i'm able to assert my different toddlers have had problems not being challenged adequate in school ... and protecting a toddler back a year unncessarily could of course make that situation even worse. edit -- i don't understand in case you recognize this comparable question published 5 circumstances ... it somewhat is somewhat helpful to delete the different ones....

  • 1 decade ago

    When I was very young I bit a couple of kids and my Mom didn't know what to do so she bit me so I would know how it felt. I have not bitten a person in over forty years.

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