What qualifications do you need to have to become a magistrate?

You dont need the same qualifications as say, a judge. Honesty integrity and the ability to mete out justice in a fair and balanced manner would be ideal.

No qualifications as such, you just need to be over 18 and to have an ability to consider complex information and arrive at judgements. You must be able to commit at least 26 half days per year to court hearings and training.

The Department for Constitutional Affairs is concerned with recruitment of magistrates, and they have a FAQ page: http://www.dca.gov.uk/magist/faqs.htm

None -- officially. What they are looking for is a good mix of people representing society at large, although sadly magistrates tend to be drawn from somewhat different spheres of society than those appearing before them. Officially, they should be from a wide range of backgrounds and occupations; people with common sense and personal integrity; have a good knowledge of people and their local community and have the ability to listen to all sides of an argument and contribute to fair and reasonable decisions. They must, of course, be reliable and have time to give to this important task. I have known magistrates who were actors and singers and therefore available during the day and one magistrate who was a train driver and used to sit between shifts. They are supposed to be free of bias, although this is really too much to ask of human beings, so it does not go against you if you are, for example, closely related to active members of political parties, or if you are a minister of religion. It is important to have a clean record and even the most trivial of road traffic offences has to be reported on the application form. You also have to have a willingness to learn, as there is a great deal of training involved.

None apart from law abiding social skills, good judgement

good judgement .... as in academic qualifications none... you need to be able to grasp what is being said to you, but you'll get trainning,.... contact your local authority/court and enquire

Nothing other than a crime-free past and basic education.

None whatsoever, except a clean criminal record.

Monied, and out of touch with the real world.

you commen sence removed