For ladies who have been through alot of challenges in life....?

Hm... Good point. My husband is the youngest in his family and he chose me, the oldest.

We balance each other out in that he is SUPER organized, and I'm more relaxed. He is the type who ONLY COLORS WITHIN THE LINES, whereas I'm the one looking outside the box to see what else there could be.

In essense, I believe that we are attracted to opposites TO SOME DEGREE for balance. I say to some degree because your values have to match. Your hopes and dreams need to match...

So there NEEDS to be common ground also.

I think that those senarios are some what true. But sometimes, a person who has had to take responsibility all the time will look for someone who is able to take on the responsibility, so that they don't have to keep doing it, because it will make you tired to ALWAYS have to be the person in charge. The best relationships work when you have a balance, but you have to know the limitations of that other person. If they are used to partying all the time, they are going to need someone who can be stern enough to make them take on responsibility with out being like a parent. Or when you have someone what is super serious, they will need someone who can love them like they are yet still show them the fun side of life, without nagging them about they never want to have fun.

If you have been through a lot of challenges in your life, I would advise you to find happiness in yourself first, because the worst thing you can do is expect for someone to come along with a happy go lucky attitude to save you from your life. That is not fair to them.

I always had to be a mother type figure to my siblings. I always had numerous amounts of responsibility at a very young age. I had a job on a lobster boat at the age of 8 where I would get up at 2:30 in the morning just to go to work. I guess I have always been the "bossy" type and never really got to be a kid. I am now engaged to a great guy. He is fairly "controlling" and decisive. I love that about him. I hate making decisions now. Sometimes my motherly instincts kick in but I love having him be the more dominate one in the relationship.

As most African-American households are, I am the product of a single- parent household. I think I am exceptionally unique because I don't know my father. AT ALL. Not that this is neccesarily a bad thing (when I used to get into trouble, I only got one spanking, not two :). But I do however feel that most of my girlfriends, when engaging in a relationship, always find suitors that remind them of their father. To elaborate, if their father was tall, intellectual or lazy, they generally find men with those similar personality traits. Not intentionally- that just seems to be what they are attracted to. Nonetheless, because I never had that figure in my life, I had to kind of "create" who I would want to be with. Since there wasn't one (a man) involved in my life growing up, I usually catch myself "testing" them (guys I date now) to see if they are worthwhile to build a family with, have a stong sense of character, etc. It really means alot to me and is a turn on to see a headstrong and determined man, which links me to your intial question. I think because I grew up in an envoirment without a male figure, I don't want that type of absence for my future children, so it really is a deciding factor. I have a really strong personality and I am very outspoken as well, so the person I choose to be with can't be too much like me because then I feel ther is generally a conflict... It's hard for me to specify to your question, but I hope I was helpful. :)

Interesting question...

I am not sure about challenges but...

I always thought it strange that as the youngest (and spoiled) in my family I married the oldest (and most responsible) of another.

I am outspoken - he is quiet

Me - intense. him - easygoing

me - fun. him - serious

me - disorganized. him - disciplined

We seem polarized but somehow to balance one another well. Do opposites attract? Do we need eachother to fill the voids in our lives? I dunno. But we are a decent match and at 25 years I have stopped asking "why".

well i am the youngest andd i have had a boyfriend that i lasted 8 months with it didnt last because he had cheated on me in the summer but he was my frist love that i really learned from i had learned that not to give everything at all the same time

my last boyfriend and i were together for 9 months. he was the compelte opsoite of me. im loud pretty outgoing talkative and hes pretty quite and reserved. but together we broughtout things in eachother that other people dont see. i also broke him out of his shell. the relationship was amazing until i got annoying with my being overbareing and he found someone else that hes with now. but i do think that opposites attract.

I'm agreeing with what someone else said. if you like em then go for it. The way you were brought up should not affect who you date. If you like em then just be with him. Life is too short to justify yourself.

I have a BAD habit of trying to fix people which is a bad boo-boo.Most ones I've delt with don't want to be fixed.

girl !!!! if u like the guy then just go for it !!!!