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lessons for bank robbers?

PICK THE RIGHT BANK

You don't want to make the same mistake as the fellow in Anaheim, CA, who tried to hold up a bank that was no longer in business and had no

money.

STUDY YOUR HISTORY

Don't try to stick up the First National Bank of Northfield, Minnesota. Jesse James tried it 111 years ago, and the townsfolk

took just seven minutes to kill two and capture three of his gang. Nobody tried again until 1984, and the customers chased the guy

down. They're tight with their dollar, those Minnesotans.

SPEAK TO THE RIGHT TELLER

One robber in Upland, CA, presented his note to the teller, and her father, who was in the next line, got all bent out of shape about it.

He wrestled the guy to the ground and sat on him until authorities arrived.

DON'T SIGN YOUR DEMAND NOTE

Demand notes have been written on the back of a subpoena issued in the name of a bank robber in Pittsburgh... on an envelope bearing the

name and address of another in Detroit....and in East Hartford, Connecticut, on the back of a withdrawal slip giving the robber's

signature and account number.

DON'T ADVERTISE

A teenage girl in Los Angeles tried to distract attention from her face by wearing a see-through blouse with no bra while holding up

banks.

GO EASY ON THE DISGUISE

One robber, dressed up as a woman with very heavy make-up, ran face first into a glass door. He was the first criminal ever to be

positively identified by lip-print.

TAKE RIGHT TURNS ONLY

Avoid the sad fate of the thieves in Florida who took a wrong turn into the Homestead Air Force Base, drove up to a military police

guardhouse and, thinking it was a toll-booth, offered the security men money.

BE AWARE OF THE TIME

Or the chagrin of the bank robber in Cheshire, Massachusetts, who hit the bank at 4:30 PM, then tried to escape through downtown North

Adams, where he was trapped in rush hour traffic until police arrived.

CONSIDER ANOTHER LINE OF WORK

Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI robber, while trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket,

shot himself in the head and died instantly.

BE STRONG

Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Massachusetts, who, when the teller told him she had no money,

fainted. He was still unconscious when the police arrived. His getaway car, parked nearby, had the keys locked inside it.

5 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Very funny. First laugh I had for the day. Thank You

  • 1 decade ago

    the small town where my mom lives a man tried to rob the bank directly across the street from the county court house. He practiced outside several times trying to work up the nerve saying to himself, "Give me all the f*cking money, this is a stick up." He then ran inside to a teller and shouted, "GIVE ME ALL THE STICKING MONEY, THIS IS A F*CK UP!" The teller started laughing and the robber left, there is a commerative plack in the bank with the quote.

  • 5 years ago

    perhaps he's a sturdy constituency MP? perhaps the folk of Neath comprehend that an acquital skill that he did no longer commit the crime you hold harping on approximately. i've got incredibly no time for Hain, yet to ascertain somebody as a ways up Griffin's fundament as you're, call everyone else a scumbag is extremely hilarious! EDIT: 2 lies on your greater remark Lie a million : I even have under no circumstances stated all dyslexics are thick. in simple terms you. Lie 2: i did no longer call you a Nazi scumbag. examine my answer slightly greater intently. I even have lots of acquaintances. they do no longer make up issues approximately me, call me a 'fibber' and refuse to settle for what I tell them approximately myself as actual.

  • me
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Wow. The things people do.

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  • 1 decade ago

    lol

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