Major maratial problem a third party getting involved in fights????

You're still so young. There is so much time ahead of you to move on and get settled in a new life. Someone who cheats on you twice, really only cares for one person...himself. This does not sound like a man whose serious about family. He still wants to party like a teenager who has no responsibilities. He may be angry with you, but possibly more than likely, angry at what being a responsible married adult means. Responsibility, duty, drudgery. He probably feels like he has the right to cheat on you. He may not say as much, but he sure has given himself permission and maybe even blaming you to feed his own excuses.

Stop the fighting. It still takes two people to fight. If you don't participate, he can't escalate it. You have a child now who should not be seeing this. Just make a decision on what you are capable of changing. You can't change him, but you can change your situation. Don't waste futile energy on fighting, getting him to see your point of view, changing him, or whatever. He has to want to. He doesn't care to.

Listen, if stabbing his best friend (you) and life partner in the back can be so easy for him...what wouldn't he do? This is the standard for which you want to live your life? He sounds bitter, resentful and is acting out like a baby having a big tantrum or a child sneaking around his parents. What, are you his mother or his friend? You want to live your life with someone as their loving partner where you both work together to make this hard life a bit easier or do you want to be made to feel like you're the policeman in the marriage. No fun. He's too old to be acting like that. He doesn't even care that he jeopardizes his son's family home environment by bringing other women into the picture? Real nice. I tell you, he's looking out for number one.

Maybe he can be on his own and be the free man he's already acting like he is. The difference is, he won't be able to blame his own childish issues on you anymore and will be left in the morning to face his own behavior.

Another part of growing up and being a married team is to never bring in a 3rd party. You don't make your relatives a part of your inner circle, nor friends, etc. If he's doing any talking...why isn't it to you? If he has questions about your behavior or issues, then why can't he ask you? It's a bad idea to have a 3rd party living in your home. Just as it would be to bring another woman into the nest. Always a bad idea. No matter how great the friend is, they have no place in your marriage.

If you're stressed out and don't know what to do, you simply look at your options. You can continue to live in the same pattern and do the same things. Obviously that's not working. You can change what you are able to change and let go that which you cannot. Just because something is hard doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Whether that means deciding not to be a doormat or going to marriage counseling or whatever. You are the captain of your life, you can take charge of the direction in which you think it should go. Don't waste time on useless energy (fighting, worrying if he's cheating,etc) and do something about it.

Also something to consider is that he's behaving badly to force you to be the person to change the situation. He already sounds like a coward by sneaking around. I've seen that before. People don't want to deal with standing up and facing their problems so they force the responsible one to. Again, very child-like.

Whatever you decide, you obviously know that the way things are now are bad. If he's too chicken to make a man's choice in life about duty, honor and family, then I guess that means he wants his wife to. Simple as that.

It is a combination of factors, but the real reason is the fact that most third party candidates are running more to serve their egos than to offer legitimate alternative viewpoints. Look at it this way, a party's candidate must typically receive at least 15% of the vote in order to guarantee that they will appear on the ballot in that state in future elections. Rather than focusing on ego-driven bids for recognition the way that both Perot and Nader did, the right solution would be one that took years and started with building a grass roots party base by winning local elections, expanding to state elections, and then going for the Presidency. That would actually result in a viable third party, but it would not serve to get these egotists the attention that they crave, so we have yet to see a third party serious enough to undertake the work involved.

You may need this roommate to step in now. Maybe he knows more about what your husband is up to than you do. Once a cheater always a cheater and he is proving this point to you. It takes two to make a marriage work and he is not doing his part. He should not be telling anyone all the details of your marriage like he was a teenager. Time to face the fact that he is not going to change so you need to move on for yourself. good luck

What's in the past doesn't matter--water over the dam, so to speak. It's what is happening now, and what will happen in the future, that really matters.

So, control what you can control--you and your own choices. Examine why you are staying in this marriage. Get counseling--even if it's alone. A good counselor will help you evaluate why you make the choices you do, and what options are available to you for future choices.

And by the way--a marriage won't work when only one person tries. If hubby won't try, and if he won't go to counseling with you, that should be Red Flag #1.

The cheating won't stop. People don't change. And you shouldn't hold out for that one in a million chance. And no man should ever push any woman...especially their wife. I know you probably love him, but people love all kinds of things that are not good for them. Like the alcoholic who loves alcohol or the smoker who loves cigarettes. Or even the kid who would eat only candy and ice cream if they had it thier way. We often want things that aren't in our best interest. Don't let your affinity for him ruin your good judgment. Just act on advice you would give your best friend. Would you tell her to stick with a man that is physically abusive and has cheated twice (at least that's all you know about-there could be more). You would tell your friend to move on, and that's what you should do.

You're young so i'm assuming your husband is about the same age...men mature slower than women and if he resents you and his child then its probably b/c of the responsiblity that he has that he feels he's too young for, he wants to do his own thing. Most of the young men that I have known who have gotten married at this age go thru the same things...I wouldn't let him be abusive, call the police next time he put his hands on you. Other than that stick it out be patient and help him develop into the husband you want, it might take 10 yrs but 10 yrs from now you'll be happy that you stayed and worked thru the difficult stuff.

First off in a healthy marriage you do not require a third person. It is wonderful that he is supportive however you and hubby have to grow up and learn communication on your own. This man has cheated on you twice, the writing is on the walls. This is not sounding to be a healthy situation for you or him. This marriage seems more like a game than real life. Good Luck but I would move on with my life close this chapter learn and grow from it

At this point you have to do what's right for you. I think it's going to be hard to get the marriage you want if your husband continues to cheat and your friends are involved in your fights. It has to be about you now, you've tried to make things work. Now work on getting yourself together because you really should move on, not only for yourself but for your child. Good luck.

You can not MAKE your husband be faithful! I would get out while you only have one child to worry about. Find someone who will respect you and your child. You are to young to be going through this crap from a uncommitted husband!! The friend really has nothing to do with the real problem! Best of luck! Find a friend to be a room mate with, the money saved isn't worth the stress!

Well first off, under no circumsatnces should he ever lay hands on you. As for him telling Mike every detail of your life, he shouldn't but I do understand having some else to talk to. Mike should actually mind his own business. Your best bet is have Mike leave. Your husband may be acting tough/bullish because there is another man around.