How do I get out of a relationship?

First of all you are not a jerk . A year is more than enough time for the both of you to realize that this is not going to work!! No problem...

Just wait til after Christmas....take a long walk together and tell her your honest feelings...

Ask yourself this: If your lady CHANGED something about her ways would that make you want to stay??? If all she needs is a little changing then give her that chance ...

Tell her you learned a lot from this relationship. but it has to end based on careful thoughts.

You owe it to yourself to be happy. And you owe her an honest explanation. Then take a deep breath when it's all over..and be proud of your maturity.

The man I was going to marry just dumped me, disappeared!! I m embarrased as I told most of my relatives....I have not spoken to him, he hangs up the phone avoids my calls etc. I'm a wreck!! So, it's okay to leave a relation...not to desroy it.

All The Best!

Artic Ranger, you know sometimes good women go bad because of stuff like this and good men go bad too. You knew this was not your intention on settling down then you probably shouldn't have encouraged her all this time. Here is my thought, try to be as much of a gentleman as possible when you let her down before the holidays. There really isn't any reason to wait because if you wait til after New Years you know what comes next Valentines Day and you don't even want to wait that long. Just tell her that you don't feel like you did when the relationship 1st started and that you need your space to explore new options and that you are sorry and a real jerk for doing this before the holidays but you didn't want to lead her on any long than necessary. I hope that it works out for you.

My opinion? Definitely wait until after the Holidays. After 1 year of her time, you owe her that. I think then the most painless way to separate is to tell her that you have a problem. You think she is the greatest, nicest person you have ever met, but you have a problem making any kind of a committment. You tend to build a wall around yourself if anyone gets too close (or something along those lines so she will know the blame lies with you and not her). Therefore, you need to break it off. Tell her she deserves someone better than you--someone who can make her happy. Tell her you wish her all the best. Then leave and don't call her again and prolong her pain. Make sure this is really what you want to do before you do it.

Prob not going to be that painless for her since she doesn't know how you feel.

Just keep reassuring her of what a good person she is and that you just don't feel like your heart is 100% there so you feel it is unfair to her to keep going on this way. Make sure she knows you care for her as a person but you want her to be happy and she deserves more than what you can give her.

As far as waiting until after Christmas....you could....but if you really feel that you don't want to lead her on not even another second..then you could do it I suppose. It's hard to say b/c I don't know either of you or the nature of your relationship.

Wait until after the holidays. The holidays is a time spent with loved ones and it would be horrible if you left her alone for the holidays. The best way to break up with anyone is to be honest. Don't lead someone on for even more time. Tell them the positives of being with them, but why it is not working out anymore. The most important thing is when you decide to break up with her, don't go back. Many times people go back out of guilty, pity, etc. It is best for both you of if you do not keep the relationship going.

If you know you are looking for someone to settle down, then there will probably be a few you will go through before you find the one. This is ok. Break up before Christmas even if you have made plans together. She will be hurt and you will feel bad but dont leave her hanging.

Ooooh. Breaking up really is hard to do. The gift that no one wants to receive, and no feeling person wants to give - although sometimes it just has to happen.

There's no "good" way to break up, but there are certainly bad ways. Put yourself in her position - would you want to know that she wanted to break up with you for some time, but didn't tell you, so you just got to go along thinking things were great, while she knew it was over?

As painless as possible means respectfully. Brief and kind. "As much as I like and respect you, and as much as I enjoyed being with you, I'm simply not ready to settle down and make a commitment, and you deserve someone who's ready to step up and be completely committed to you."

You don't outline her shortcomings ( a way of saying "yes, I'm leaving you, but I'm not a bad guy, because you'd drive anyone crazy"). You don't explain in detail why you're going in some attempt to make it sound better. You respect her ability to survive this, you tell her quickly and kindly, and you take your lumps, because nobody likes to hear "I'm leaving."

And no, you don't wait, because while you're waiting, you're lying to her, and you like her too much to lie to her, right?

First, tell her how you feel about settling down. Second, do you even feel any love for her? If you don't, then you should probably break up with her ASAP and make room in your heart for people that you truly care about. You should break up with her before Christmas. I know it seems as though if you do, then she will be depressed during Christmas, but it will be worse if you break up with her after Christmas, because all of her former Christmas cheer will have vanished the moment you tell her. At least if you break up with her now, she might even find someone else during Christmastime to hook up with!

Don't wait. Don't keep leading her on like this.

Don't keep thinking "Oh, Christmas is coming up..." cuz then other holidays will come up like Valentine's... and then maybe her birthday or anniversary, etc. etc. No time is the perfect time to break up with her. The sooner... the better.

Be honest with her. Tell her that you just see her as a friend and you just don't feel the same. Tell her she is a nice girl and bring her self-esteem up and say that there will be someone else who likes her for who she is. (Kinda even out the "rejection.") You just don't feel the same way.

There really is not painless way to do it man. Just tell her the truth you will be better off in the long run. As bad as it is I wouldn't keep leading her on, I would go ahead and tell her. She will be upset but you'll come out better being honest.