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Is she jealous or envious?

I have this co-worker who is constantly admiring my coach purse. She tells me everyday she would like one. On Friday, she came in (all smiles) and when I asked her why she was so happy she showed me her new coach bag, which, just so happened to be exactly like mine. I can understand the fact that she wanted a coach bag, but why didn't she get a different one? I told her that it was cool that she got her bag but I can't help but feel like I should keep my distance with her now. What do you think?

Update:

By the way, I'm her boss.

25 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Seems like she is envious of your purse to buy one exactly like yours. People like that in the workplace are pathetic.

    Keep your distance.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't think she is jealous or envious at you. She really likes the bag and also she likes you. I would not carry the same bag as somebody that I don't like. On the contrarty if I like my friend , then I would be proud to own the same thing as his or hers. So don't feel bad at all. But you should be happy she does not have an adverse feeling towards you. One of the wisest men in China said: "One thousand friends are too few, but one enemy is too many!" Be a good sport and you will please her, and actually do a favour to yourself. You will gain a good friend who can help you one day, rather than lose one and bring stress to yourself.

  • 1 decade ago

    You should not keep your distance from her. Allow her into your inner circle. Take her into your confidence, and then invite her to lunch, preferably somewhere hosting a scintilla of privacy. Seize the most opportune moment, reach into your Coach grip and firmly grasp the spray can of fluorescent red paint you have secreted there and...viola!...your co-worker now has a Coach bag certainly different than yours. See how simple life is? You may even have the pleasure of knowing she will no longer constantly admire your Coach bag, and she may, thus, finally produce some work.

    Source(s): The Haraspex Index, Printed and Produced by The Steve Foundation.
  • 1 decade ago

    I think you're making far too much out of it. She made it clear that she wanted one of her own, and eventually was able to manage it. So what's the big deal? It's a PURSE! Matching outfits can be awkward, but a purse? I just don't see it. Why do you need to distance yourself from her? Does it really bother you that much that someone else has the same purse as you? Is there something else about her that bothers you? Because I honestly can't see pushing someone out of your life because she bought an item you owned because of her own admiration for it.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    could it just be that she saw your bag and actually liked it ?? I mean for Pete's sake it's just a purse !!! It'd be different if she was wearing the same exact clothes, purse, hairstyle.... then I'd say OK she's a stalker..there are only so many styles of purses and maybe that was the one she liked best. Just because you had it first you somehow feel like you have a copyright or something...I personally think spending that much money on a purse is ridiculous anyway... spend that extra money on something else.. donate to charity...

  • Bael
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    What difference does it make? It's just a purse. If you don't like what she's done, then get a different purse. Is she really that wrong for wanting one? What were you for wanting that purse in the first place?

    Perhaps the question to be asked is this: Is she envious for wanting your purse, or are you envious for wanting nobody else to have it?

  • 1 decade ago

    Copying is the best form of flattery.

    Throw a curve ball and go buy a Dooney & Bourke Signature, they are nice too!

    It's not too much to spend on a purse at all. You can buy a $35.00 purse and it will last 3 or 4 months or you can buy a $389.00 purse and it will last 3 to 4 years. I found this out 15 years ago, you get what you pay for.

  • 1 decade ago

    I was going to say she was covetous, wishing for your bag, but she's only envious, since she wanted one just like it. If she were jealous, she wouldn't necessarily wish she had one just like yours, she just wouldn't want you to have it--just like with a boyfriend. Be glad she got one and didn't steal yours. Nobody else will notice that you both have the same bag, which may well last a lot longer than your working relationship, so just be cool.

  • Molly
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    She was obviously both jealous and envious. It would piss me off too if some chick I work with bought the exact same bag. That is just showing that she has no taste/style of her own and she has to use you for incite. You should get an even cooler one now just to piss her off even more. Good luck.

  • It could be as simple as when she went to get one, she did'nt like the other styles. Ichose the style she liked.Yours.Don't forget the old "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." As far as keep your distance, this is a small thing. Yet if she starts dressing like you, or decides to copy your hair style or make up. This could lead to bigger problems. A simple way to sway things tell her what styles and items work for her. Arion

    Source(s): Trust me I Know.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It could be neither jealousy or envy, but more a desire to be more like you. YOu could very well be her role model for how a woman should be and in buying a bag exactly like yours, she feels a bit more like you.

    This kind of hero worship is common in kids with elder siblings or cousins, but some adults succumb to it as well.

    Take it as a compliment.

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