I have Christmas problem with my husbands family?

It's hard to find the right balance between the two families once you get married (and sometimes before). The things that have worked for us were two things:

1) when we had kids, we wanted them to have their own traditions at home on Christmas morning, vs. being at grandma's house (cause what happens to their Christmas when something happens to Grandma?) You might not have kids yet, but regardless, it's important for each new family unit to create their own traditions as a priority, then to determine how to fit in with all their old ones they brought from their families as a second priority. We have our extended family time after our kids are done with their "santa" stuff on Christmas morning.

2) try your best to accomodate both families and if you can't do that, then you switch off years - I mean one year you spend Christmas day with your family and the next you spend it with his. This way, the schedule makes the decision for you vs. it being an issue each year and everyone gets equal treatment.

Also know that each new spouse that is added to the mix (like from your siblings) just complicates the matter even more, so it makes it even more important to set your own rules.

If you tell both of your families that you have decided that this is the best way to deal with the issue, they'll should respect your decision and support your quest to form your own family traditions.

If your husband won't agree to this type of arrangement and he HAS to have it his way, then he's selfish and inflexible and you have other issues to deal with - you might remind him that it's not all about him!

Best of luck!

Making a suggestion should not be viewed as a mistake in my opinion. If you were merely looking for alternatives then that is harmless. But if you said it in an in a polite way then I can see him being a bit offended. However; in the future perhaps you should start going to one parents house one year on Christmas day and the other family's the next. Another solution may be that you have Christmas at your house and everyone bring something to help out with the meal. That way everyone is together and so there are no hurt feelings at all. One last suggestion may be that your family (you and your husband and kids), your mom and dad and his mother and father all go out somewhere for Christmas dinner. Go to a restaurant or hotel that will serve the turkey etc., that way there is more time to bond and talk and there is no cleanup required afterwards. Regardless of how you resolve this, do so maturely and have a great holiday season. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Maybe you should redirect it to having Christmas Day with his family and Christmas Eve with yours. For some reason women always have to be the peace keepers. But that's life. See what he thinks about that. Do you have small children and that wears them and you out. Yes I agree something needs to be done. Try not to fight too much about for this will spoil the joy of Christmas, this is suppose to be a happy and fun time of the year with your families. Otherwise just stay the same and rest the day after Christmas. Good luck! and try to have a Merry Christmas.

You weren't wrong. It sounds like you were trying to make things better for all involved. Unfortunately, I think most families have this problem (I know we do). I try a do what is best of our family and let the rest go. Whatever is going to make my kids happy is what we are going to do. We do see everyone, sometimes it's just not when they want. I always leave our door open and all of our family and friends are welcome to join us and celebrate, otherwise, we'll see you when we can see you. Things change and some years they will get their way and other years we'll get ours. Remember why you're celebrating. Merry Christmas.

Well it was just a suggestion. You should have planned to do it the other way around in that case, if it really wasn't a big deal. Too late now maybe next year and explain about you being so tiered after the festivities.

your husband has left the relationship. it has no longer something to do with Christmas. he's egocentric and is in all probability seeing somebody else. yet you may desire to the two seek for marriage counseling to get to the basis of the themes of him no longer desirous to spend time with you or as a family individuals throughout the time of the holiday trips. it basically doesnt sound acceptable. and you in case you sense that's needed to envision the mileage than you already comprehend howdy. end mendacity to your self and face regardless of head on. end residing in denial, wishing and praying that he gets extra powerful. you cant exchange him you are able to only exchange your self. GodBless

If he said to you "lets do christmas eve with your family and we go see mine on christmas day?"

would you jump in joy and be like..

"oh yes, thats a great plan, i surely dont want to see my family on christmas."

What do you expect?

Id break tradition have christmas with my family and my wifes before christmas.. and have MY OWN CHRISTMAS with my wife and children on christmas day.

Your plan could work but id suggest alternating each year.. and since its your idea maybe you should really suggest giving him his family on Christmas DAY the first go around since YOUR the one who seems to have the problem with it... If you cant do that then umm you shouldnt suggest it in the firstplace.

Holidays Are Very Stressful For Everyone.

No, you were totally in the right. I guess you could just try to gently explain that with less stress and fatigue, you can give each family more quality time and attention. good luck!

He sounds selfish, childish. unwilling to compromise in a matial relationship. You did nothing wrong. Is he a mommy's boy?