Need some solid advice? Urgently!!!?

Ok... here we go with this. Most baby momma drama ALWAYS comes when there is a solid relationship brewing between the father of the child and the soon to be wife. Your getting married soon to this man has set off the jealousy/competition in this woman. Sabatoge is soon to follow. It's a clear case of "haterism 101" If she had a happy satisfied life or a husband/man, it's a guarantee she would care less about you and him. She would be off in her happy little world doing her own thing. But clearly now she's going to start interfering, whispering in his ear and tripping out on insignificant things, making up situations that need his urgent attention (either with the child or some other crap). This stratetgy will either make your relationship or break it. It's so classic of women who are insecure, desperate and alone. You should pity her, but at the same time...don't be any ones fool.

This type of situation often happens due to "baby mamma" insecurity or the fact that now she knows this man "baby daddy" is permanently moving on.... "without her" So now she'll pull out the "mess up in the head" woman tricks.

If what "he's" doing (because he's the one that's in control of his actions/responses to her) is causing you to feel uncomfortable, you should take your finance out to dinner. Have open communication with him about your observations. Start the conversation off with something positive about your relationship, him or your soon to be life together. Then (without sounding angry or accusatory) let him know that lately you've been feeling very uncomfortable with.... (give examples of what you've observed/felt). Sit close to him at dinner, and hold his hands look sincerely into his eyes(no joke.... this will have a huge impact) and let him know that you think it would probably hurt him if the shoe were on the other foot and you were doing that around him or to him. Be soft spoken and kind in the way you communicate with him. No need to be huffy and defensive. Speak slowly and clearly. Let him know what actions you need him to take.

By the way... that whole whispering thing and calling late at night reaks with inappropriateness and I guarantee you he would be very very uncomfortable if you had an ex boyfriend and did that to him or around him. Clearly your "Red Flag" warning signal should be up.

You need to decide QUICKLY if you're willing to put up with this behavior. No need to scream and shout. And by all means don't EVER let her see you sweat the situation. The solution lies in how you fiance will handle her... given the fact that you are uncomfortable with that mess and you're about to be his wife, he needs to check that situation with a quickness and make sure he protects you from ANY outside interference. That is the responsiblity of a true husband. Men don't always understand the games women play who are "not" healthy in their minds.

Don't start something you can't finish and by all means don't just sit and pretend it's not an issue and that you'll be ok or you'll just have to deal with it. However, be mindful... what you see is what you get. If you have a "red flag" warning signal going off in your head... don't ignore it. Also, If your not willing to put up with that or still feel very uncomfortable with what he's doing (should it continue after your conversation) you need to nip that mess in the bud. Now the huge question is:

If someone were to tell you this situation will never change... or even probably get worse, are you still willing to marry him anyway and live with it? If the answer is no... Be swift and decisive with you actions and move on while you're still young, because clearly you don't need that type of drama. You can't have a marriage where there is lack of trust... or you have to play guessing games on what's going on.

If the answer is yes... don't ever complain about it to anyone just live with it or keep fooling your self into thinking that the situation will get better by and by....

Ok then.. there you go!

I have a 3 year old with my ex and we both have a significant other. However, we are almost best friends. We talk and text quite often. About our child and everything else. We do not have a romantic relationship at all but I still walk away from my boyfriend when I talk to the old one. Just because my boyfriend has mentioned b4 that I talk to both men in the same manor. In a truly caring way and I think my boyfriend gets jelous. If you bf starts making up weird excuses and wants to exchange the kid alone watch out. I have been there too! It can be really easy to hide when children are involoved. She could just be jelous that you 2 are engaged. She may not want him but doesn't want anyone else to have him either!

What you have here is a very jealous ex who still wants her bf back and you out of the picture. Since there is a child involved, I would suspect hes talking to her in a low voice to 1. keep the peace between him and his ex for the sake of their daughter and 2.not to really upset you.It would be expected for him to remain good friends with his ex for his daughters sake only and to prevent any possible problem that could cause more in your relationship with him. Yes she is trying to get him back or at least, destroy you two but I sense real strong here that you have nothing to worry about. So please dont read more into this than there really is unless you have concrete evidence to prove otherwise. His ex for whatever reason is suddenly suspecting that you two are getting along way to well for her to deal with so shes trying whatever she can come up with. You really still dont have a problem with him but just keep an eye on her though for awhile. Good luck and have a fantastic new year

Ask him straight out is there something you are hiding? every time .... calls you either whisper or get up and move, I don't have a problem with her calling about (daughters name) but all hours of the night that's not right. Be smart about your words. Tell him you don't want to fight you just have noticed these things and it makes you feel uncomfortable. In order for you to trust he has to allow you the chance. If he is not hiding anything he will get it. Good luck

you know Im married to a man that has a daughter with someone else but I can tell ya this its not normal for her to be calling late at night or for him to be whispering to her when you are around...Have you talked to him about it? If not you should....Because if you guys are engaged this needs to be resolved before you go any further. What you need to do is monitor more I guess and when hes whispering or shes calling late call him on it....The ONLY reason they should even be talking is cuz of the child...and Im sure he wouldnt whisper if that was what its about.

I think you should be honest and talk to him tell him how it bothers you that he does that, Ask him if there is something going on that you should know about and why he acts the way he does when she calls because that is strange that he moves away or whispers.

I'd ask him straight up what he is hiding. The more general the answer the more likely he is to be lying. Ask him why she called, and if he hides any info you know something is up. You have the right to know what is going on because it is an issue of trust. Let him know this too, because you are planning the rest of your life with him, and not trusting him about this could lead to you not being able to trust him on other things.

okay the whispering should be a red light. You need to sit him down and ask for an explanation. Sounds like something fishy is going on. You deserve an explanation.

Maybe you should talk to him about it, because when you get married things would only get worse, or so I hear. I hear whatever you have problems with now may never change so you better be able to live with what he is doing now, because don't marry him thinking you can change him. He may never change.

Try to talk to him about it, before my mother go married there was something about my father that bugged her. My father would not kiss her, he would always say "Save it"....and when I grew up I never saw them kiss or show any affection. They didn't show any love and well my father wasn't really around.

She is probably trying to get him back because she realizes he is getting married again and is jealous. Be up front with him, ask him what the deal is, like why he gets up and moves when you sit with him. And tell him to tell her to stop calling after 9:00. See what his reaction is, then decide what you want to do.