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Why do people get upset when you tell them no?
I have 3 children. A 9 yr old, 6 yr old, and a 4 yr old. My husband works out of the home and is a volunteer firefighter. Every year at Christmas and New Years we are invited to various parties and everyone seems to get frustrated with me when I tell them we can't attend because of the kids. Most of these people have older children or they have relatives that will babysit for them. My parents are both semi handicapped. My mother has MS and my dad has severe arthritis. My father in law travels alot with his job and is hardly ever in town. We honestly cant afford to pay a sitter to stay with the kids for us to go to a lengthy or all night party. And I know it upsets my husband when I tell him we cant go. This year I told him to go to the New Years party alone, I would stay home with the kids. Why do these people keep getting offended when they know the answer and was I wrong in telling him to just leave me home?
We tried to have a party here one year. Everyone got upset with me because I don't allow people to over drink with kids around. And too, we have a very small house. I would love to have a friend to take the kids too, but the last friend that I thought were true friends turned out to be swingers and only wanted us around to "swap" with.....
No, these people arent "my friends". They are my husbands from work and his vol fire dept. I just associate with them when I have too. I know that sounds mean, but I have nothing in common with these people. I am social and polite, but I choose not to hang out with them more than I have too.
5 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
You sound like a great mom with her priorities in order. If your friends can't understand your situation, then they aren't truly your friends. I commend you!
- Maria IsabelLv 51 decade ago
Try to make staying home for the holidays with the kids a fun thing for everyone. Invite people over to YOUR house instead of having to tell them you can't go over theirs. If no one will come, have a party with the husband and kids and watch some movies, tell jokes and stories, have ice cream, make it enjyable. I know this isn't really an answer to your question, but I think instead of worrying how these people who get mad at you feel, just focus on having a good time with your family.
Have a Happy New Year and Blessed Be.
- 1 decade ago
Can you send the kids to spend the night at friends' houses? Just so you and your husband can have some time to yourselves or get out once in a while.
You need to find a solution, not because of other people's feelings, but for your own well-being.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Because they just don't understand. If they can't understand that you just don't have to time... or can't afford it. Then ask them to stay home with there kids for one night and be a responsible parent. Don't worry about these people. Humans or hypocrites... I hope everything works out. (if these people judge u )like that... then they are not ur friends.)
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- 1 decade ago
Don't let them make you mad. I understand what your saying and your kids are more important than anyone's party. Your'e doing the rite thing. Have a good day. Don't let it bother you. :)
