Why am I so afraid of losing people that I love when they die?

once you come to terms with the fact that death is a reality, and you accept your own death, then it becomes a beautiful thing. what i mean is that we have been given a gift. the gift is called life. life is very very very short - its just a flash - and we dont know when we will die. we might die tomorrow for any reason at all. if we live to be old, then we are very lucky.

So what does this mean? it means that if we dont know if we will be alive tomorrow, then we had better make the most of today:

celebrate today.

make the most of today.

shout and scream out loud that we love our life.

make the most of our love

tell our friends and family how much we love them - now, today.

i heard a saying:

"in the midst of death, we are in life"

it means that life is very temporary, and everyone who has ever lived will die.

but hear we are, in life! so celebrate it!

go out there, laugh, celebrate, love and live

and enjoy it while it lasts, celebrate and be happy.

death is sad but we have been given life to make the most of it while it lasts. dont worry about death until you need to. if you are worried about losing people you love, well we all end up in the same place, and if you accept your own death, then it becomes easier.

one way to get your head around it is remember that death is never far away for us all the time. we dont know what death is, but it is part of being alive, and we just go back to where we came from. but dont be scared of that, just see it as a fact of life. dont see it as a morbid thing. see it as a reason to enjoy life to the full today.

it is death that makes life so special, delicate and dear to us.

go out and make the most of today.. and welcome death when it comes with happiness and the knowledge that your life is so beautiful..

and what makes life so beautiful? the fact that you love people like the friend that you care about so much.

take care

addition:

i hope this didnt sound too flippant, it wasnt supposed to.

buddhists use this philosophy about death.. they see it as a fact of life.. they do not deny it, but accept it as an everyday reality.

as for your friend, i am sorry that he is distressed, but you can be there for him, that is all you can do, just be there.. he has to make his journey thro life in his own way.. when its time for him to seek help, he will reach out.

You can't live your life day to day worrying about death. It will drive you crazy. As you said the fact that we are all going to die one day is inevitable. We all feel grieved when someone we love and care for dies and no one looks forward to a friend or loved one passing away. The fact that your friend chooses to abuse drugs is sad because he very well might 'die before his time'. However that is a choice he has made and only he can be the one to choose to stop. He has to want to. I also abused drugs and I know the only way you can quit is to decide to do it for yourself. Also I found it is easier to accept death when you realize it really is a 'passing' from one life to the next. If you feel assured that there is a God and that you have accepted that He died for you. You can have comfort knowing that when you die, or when a loved one dies, you or they will go on to be with Him. If you or they do not believe. Well, that's another story. Don't mean to preach. Just letting you know the truth. Heaven or hell. Life or death. Sobriety or drugs. It's everyone's choice to make.

Ever since I was eight years old and lost my grandfather, I have been so afraid of losing everyone else I love. Then, at 20, my dad died at the age of 45. My fear of death (mine and others) really came to a head at this point--I thought about death every day. Since that time, I have lost my husband, my grandmothers, my mom, my favorite cousin, and a good friend. Now I worry about my children and myself dying.

I do go to therapy and it helps. I also take pills for anxiety, which keep me much calmer. I'm afraid that I will need to be doing these things for the rest of my life, as my fear will not go away.

I have read books about dying and about surviving the loss of a loved-one. They help a little--and are available at the public library. Therapy helps the most, as you have a live person to tell all of your troubles to--which is better than keeping them within yourself.

I hope that you can get help in coming to terms with this, and that you find a very good therapist to help you.

Death is the cycle of life, but one (like your friend) could be salvaged. try to get him some help.As for losing someone, you never lose someone. Death just hides us for a while. A good little quote my dad has always said,"Death can hide us, but not divide us" like death can take a person away so you cant physically see them anymore, but can never take the love you have for them away. I am a christian and know that death is not permanent. If you know Jesus you will have everlasting life> Good Luck and God Bless!

I actually have lost 18 kin. My mom, older sister, uncle and grandfather all died interior of four months of one yet another! demise is area of existence and that i settle for that quite. i'm no longer non secular both, in reality, i do not trust in a god. I basically understand that we are born, we stay, (some longer than others) then we die. All i can upload is that existence is worthwhile, and we get one shot, so don't be afraid to stay.

I think we all feel this way to some extent - sooner or later everyone we know and love is going to be gone from our lives.

I think that the only answer is to enjoy your life and to enjoy the company of everyone around you while you can - sitting and worrying about it will only cast a shadow over everything and stop you from having fun with your friends and family.

You need to learn to enjoy your life.

Good luck and God bless.

If anyone can help you stop your fear of death, please tell me on Yahoo, because I also have this great fear, and I've lost so many family members and friends in my life. I will turn 61 this year and lost my closest friend last year. We talked each day for years, and I miss her greatly. How do you get over this unnatural fear it's always there just under the surface!!!

It sounds like you haven't accepted your own death, if you can accept yours then you can accept others' much easier because you can hope that they have accepted theirs as well, and if they have, why should you worry about it? If you have accepted your death then you can be happy with your life no matter what, including people dying.

Dear, I feel the same. I love my parents and brothers deeply, and I can't avoid the fear of loosing them by death. Something that helps me to overcome this is to remember that I should show them how much I love them and how important are they to me.

love is one of the strongest emotions we have.when someone dies that we love it is like losing part of you own body.we know everyone will die one day,this is part of evolution,young and old for someone to die just does not seem right.its a very normal feeling for you to feel this way.life will go on and memories live forever.