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If you were me, How would you respond to my Girlfriend's E-mail? Please Help!!?

Dearest Sexy,

I have a proposition for u. I have been thinking about this 4 many many days now, so I am 100% sure this is something I'd personally like to do.

Remember when we had that misunderstanding about where u would stay after you move here? I originally stated that only a short-term stay was workable. Well, I thought about it 4 awhile after that, and decided that it might actually be a good idea to share a household. Let me give you a run-down of the idea I had in mind.

I think u would be a good roommate, when u move to here. If u take this offer, u would be in for 1/3 of the expenses (since there would be 3 people here.) This comes out to about $350 a month which includes all current utilities. I would simply ask 4 that as a flat rate each month. U would have ur own room, baby and I would share a room (the bigger of the 2, currently my office).

Even though we are involved with each other in an intimate way, I still think looking at this like a practical roommate arrangement is best.

Here are some reasons why I think this will be beneficial. From a compatibility standpoint we are both quiet people, have similar sleep patterns, value clean and tidy housekeeping, are frugal, don't watch TV much, and have mutual respect. This arrangement stands to help us both financially; I could pay off debt and afford online college. I'm sure u could do something special with the extra cash, whether it be saving up, investing, helping your mom, going back to school, or anything ur heart desires.

Domestic tasks would also be simpler if we break it into roles we both enjoy. I could make dinner most nights, and u could take care of most of the yard work. Food expenses could be casually shared & we could benefit from buying in bulk. Cleaning house is something we already do in our current homes; I feel assured u are the type to clean up after yourself even with a woman in the house.

It's important to note that due to work, travel, and school, we would still not have a lot of time to see each other even if we lived together. I would be busy once I got home, and we might be seeing each other only at dinner.

U would have time to yourself probably every week since you get mostly weekdays off. I would still visit my family every other weekend. But, we could go on dates/"sleepovers" just as usual when baby is away (Wednesdays and every other weekend). Except, there would be no 2 1/2 hour drive to worry about.

The things that might pose problems are as follows. We could not probably have 3 cats here. Also, there may not be enough room for all your furnishings. These are two things we will have to work on if u take this offer.

U will also have to decide if you are prepared to live in a home with a 7-year old. Some days are fun, but some days are annoying. You would not be expected to take on a parental role. However, because Nessa admires you she will probably seek your attention sometimes. She is talkative and asks lots of questions, and wants to be included in things. Every so often she might pitch a fit over something that seems irrational and it is a very unpleasurable thing to witness. You are a good role model, and this is also a benefit to me & Nessa. But, you have to consider whether this is a benefit to you. Think about whether being a male role model is a rewarding experience to your heart, or if it doesn't really do anything for you. Remember it is normal to get disgusted by children, especially when they are not your own. Just recognize whether you are willing/able to cope with such feelings from time to time.

Anyways, I plan to get rid of some more junk if you decide to make this move. That way we won't be so crowded. I do think there is plenty of room for the three of us, as long as we stay reasonably organized and avoid excess. Neatness will be important.

If you'd like to do this, let me know. U do not have to give an immediate answer; just think about it. Please read at least twice before making a decision.

I hope u have a deliciously wonderful day!

Yours always,

Pumpkin

11 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Tell Pumpkin that I'm on my way!!!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    OK this is how it is going to be if you move in- You will be a full time babysitter- a nanny almost that is having to pay for your own room. Her daughter really needs os full-time father figure in her life, and Punkin has chosen you. You have basically no say in what you can and cant bring to your new home, why would you want to pay for that option?

    This is how it would be if you don't go--You could still see her at her convenience as it would be if living with her. You do not have to take the role of father figure. You do not have to be her baby sitter/nanny. And you do not have to abandon your cats.

    You can stick to your family and friends. Which they will always be there first. I know from experience. Don't give up your loved ones if you think this is not going to work out for you.

    Do what you think in your heart is the best.

    Until later--Good Luck! :)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think she has spelled it out for you , is that what you want , you can accept or decline , sounds a little bossy for me ,but if it will meet your needs and put you in a better position , (Hm-mm) a 7 year old , that's a little more then just being a room mate ,Rather than letting your ever-changing moods dictate your day, think! about how it's going to be. Yes, you should process the feelings, but also eat healthy, meditate or exercise, see friends and stick with your routine , take a few days and read it again , good Luck! ....

    I think "ashleynic" has a very good point , I think she has hit the nail on the head ....

  • 1 decade ago

    This woman is longer winded than I am. I didn't realize that was possible.

    Why not just opt for a temporary arrangement with an option to continue by mutual agreement or terminate unilaterally.

    Set a review period, say two weeks, sit down and discuss everything that is pissing either of you off. A month later decide if things are adjusted enough to go permanent.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I think what she means is....."Hey Dude, you wanna help pay some bills and do some chores, and be a daddy? Great move in, and leave your cats elsewhere. I may not have any time for you, but we can hang every now in then, inbetween 5:30 pm and 6 o'clock every other Wednesday and every 5th full moon. Sometimes it might be fun, but generally it will probably suck. Please ready this twice, and sign your life away on the bottom line. Great Thanks"

  • 1 decade ago

    If I liked the terms I'd say yes. If I liked some of the terms and didn't like others I'd talk to her about it and try to get them changed. If they don't get changed I would see whether I could and would be able to live with them or not and answer according to that.

  • 1 decade ago

    Ok sounds like friends with benefits and someone to help with the bills and housework......and if it took her this long to change her mind about this whole thing, I do not think it would be a good idea to move in with her.

  • 1 decade ago

    actually your reply to her can only be one of the two:

    YES(I'll move in with you and accept all responsibilities needed from me.) or

    NO(No thanks,I don't think I can do that..........<insert whatever you feel about this "bulk of to-do"s>)

    Just think of this email as her getting practically organized for the "event"(your moving in) and giving you a household contract for the do s and don't s...like getting married without the celebration. (so it's gonna be a HUGE decision to make)So be honest and just reply how you feel about it...(and if you still don't understand what she meant,haha)

  • 1 decade ago

    If you didn't state that she was your Girlfriend I never, ever would of picked up on it in her email.

    Time to look out for yourself and find your life, with her you won't have one, atleast not one that you are looking for.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Sounds like more trouble than it's worth.

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