Why did I use to feel much stronger when I was single?

There's a lot of reasons for this, the ugliest being that in love or not, you're with someone who is not right for you. But it sounds to me like you lost something that was making you feel empowered and confident. Now that it's gone, you feel lost without it.

I think you need to isolate whatever that thing is. Perhaps it's something that simply fell by the wayside due to being busy with your marriage, something that you can get back. You mention your circle of friends. There's no reason you can't get that back if you have an accepting and understanding husband.

Perhaps you found validation in the wrong things; Being stared at or fawned over by guys, for instance. If that's the case, you need to learn to love and believe in yourself without the validation of anyone else.

you feel much stronger when you were single because you have sole control over your life and you can do whatever you want without worrying what your better half will feel. It could also be that your marriage is not the way you envision it to be eventhough you love each other. You should try to revert back to your ways of hanging out with your friends and being active but this time, bring your hubby along so that he could see the fun in doing the things you use to do.

I think it is a common thing to do this... You go from worrying only about yourself and making yourself happy. To having someone who is supposedly supposed to make you happy and you them. You and we, can't possibly depend on someone else to make US happy completely. I think when we get married, we are so focused on the spouse and their needs, that we get completely focused on it. By the time you look up, you realize you are not who you were, you don't know what to do. It happens to alot of people I think. I suggest slowly putting back in your life things that meant alot to YOU before you were married. You just need to do some of the things you were doing individually, while now married. Just start slow, working out a few times a week alone or with friends and a girls night. Best wishes to you.

You have to realize that the person you married does not completely you. The only person who completes you is God. I have been married now for 3 mos and what me and my husband realizes is that we are two individuals becoming one. Its hard sometimes you do lose your identity within that other person. But you have to recognize who you are. Just because you got married does not mean life is over, you are now reduced to being somebodys partner....But it means you now have someone to share your most inner thoughts with. Take some time out for you. You can't do everything you used to do when you were single but that some past activities you used to do (make sure they are not in anyways detrimental to your marriage) and do them.....

Sounds like a personal problem. It would be helpful if you told us how long you dated, things about your character (aside from your apparent insecurity and withdrawal) and attitude as well has his.

I can tell you that the feeling of losing yourself is something that people often feel when in a more codependent type of relationship with their partner and family. With kids, that's understandable: they are pretty much emotionally immature and egocentric most of the time. If the relationship with your spouse is all about giving and rarely about receiving, if you aren't getting respect for who you are, that could be the crux of the problem. All I can tell you is that even if somebody doesn't respect you for who you are, you have to respect yourself and you have to do things for yourself, or you'll lose yourself and shutdown eventually as a kind of ego-defense.

It sounds as if he has made you insecure and has made you feel belittled. You need to understand that just because you are married does not mean you are not yourself anymore. You are still that strong person. You need to get out and make friends and start taking care of yourself. Go to the gym, join a scrap booking club or something. Wake up and make yourself beautiful and tell the world that your going to shine today and do something. Tell yourself that you love you and work on you. There are books you can read to boost esteem ... you just need to motivate yourself to do it.

It happens alot...You just have to find yourself in the relationship and feel comfortable. When you get married your kinda making things official so you become very vunerable. The smallest thing makes you wander about the other person's reaction. When I got married with my husband...wow...I didnt know how to act, who I should or shouldn't speak too. Its like you have to conquer things in your life that once were conquered. Example for me on my wedding day my best friend brought this guy I love til this day but it was never the right timing for us so nothing happened to the ceremony. Now me and this guy had a thing that never happened but we both knew it was there. My husband was coming out of the hall while he the other guy was talking to my friend and I(my husband knew about him had never met him so this was the first time he had to meet him). To me was something that was to be conquered becuase this other guy had been there for me for a lot of stuff and he would have been the one if I hadn't met my husband. This guy was established in my life as a single woman but as a married one I had to establish him all over again. I didnt know wether to tell the guy to run or tell my husband hey my friend brought him and introduce them. I introduced them(of course they hated each other but in my mind they knew hey he is my husband and hey he means alot to me) so in my new chapter of life they have been established. Dont know if I just confused you more but I tried to help.

I have been married three times and I know what you mean.

When you are single you are in more controll of your life. Now you get married and have to answer to another person and you at least are the women and control 100 % of the sex and 85% of the money..lol

just remember a rolling stone gathers no moss...you have to give up something when you get married...but thats the life you choose.

Get more self confidence by doing things that bring you pleasure and pleasess you and satisfys you needs...whatever they are.

because when you was single you was more dependent on yourself

wuerd