I need to know if I am handling this situation in a good manner?

First of all, you shouldn't expect your husband to step in to discipline your daughter. She said something mean to YOU, and as her parent YOU should deal with it. You and your daughter are not on equal footing; you should not feel like your husband has to discipline her for hurting your feelings. Why does it matter if your husband supposedly allows your daughter to boss you around? Why do YOU allow it?

Second of all, you did get childish. You played the "poor me, nobody likes me" card, attempting to make your daughter or husband feel guilty. You also attempted to get them to appreciate you in a roundabout way. You need to be more straightforward and do something about the problem.

When your daughter says she hopes you'll die, she's trying to cause a reaction. She won. You got mad and petulant and gave her control over your emotions. She'll probably say it again, since it worked so well for her here.

Instead of letting it shake you, calmly say that you're sorry she feels that way and for now while you are alive, she'll need to follow your rules. Tell her it's not a nice thing to say, and maybe she needs some time sitting by herself, thinking about nicer ways to talk to family members. Give her a time-out. CALMLY. The less you react, the less power her unpleasant words will have and the less likely she will be to repeat them.

Furthermore, if you are feeling unappreciated, TELL your husband, instead of whining that if you were dead, he'd have to do all the cooking, cleaning, etc. Tell him you'd like him to recognize that you work hard, and would like his understanding and support or whatever else it is you feel you aren't getting from him.

You're not handling the situation at all. You're merely acting like the child your own child seems to think you are.

If she talks disrespectfully to you, you can put your foot down and insist on respect due to a mother. You can send her to her room to think it over. You can also talk to her about what respect means.

If she says she can't wait till you die, I wouldn't even pay that much attention to that. Children say these things all the time. My child said it to me when she was upset with me. All I said by way of answer was, "I'm here. Deal with it." And when we'd both calmed down, I talked over her problem, and didn't even mention that remark. It wasn't worth repeating.

You might suggest to your husband that you would appreciate his support when things are tough. But, he IS right. You do need to grow up. Be the mother, not the child.

we all say things that we don't mean when we are angry. I know I have. yeah it still hurts when someone says something like that to you but if they eventually apologize accept it and move on. The reason your child says that stuff is because she knows it will make you upset. she was probably mad at you for getting on her about telling you what to do and in-turn she wanted to make you upset as well. If something like this happens again don't give her a reaction. just say "thanks for letting me know how you feel" with no emotion. also when both of you are angry tell her that you will discuss the issue when you are both calm and walk away. that way you have time to think of a good solution of consequence. I always tell everyone this. Check out "Love and Logic" it is a great program and it give good solutions on how to deal with many different situations. you library may have a "Love and Logic" book or visit the website to find out more.

That must be hard to hear your daughter say that.

I wish your husband would be more considerate & mature enough to atleast comfort you or have a conversation with her explaining kids respecting parents.

But you know, shes still your daughter & you her mother. When you' re calmer, have a discussion with her. be assertive, telling her that you insist on respect. tell her, if she would really lose you, she would regret it & miss you so much .

Never let your ego/ her ego widen the communication gap between mother & daughter. Its a very important relation.

This happened to a friend of mine. Her mother was very pampered and so would be very egoistic towards her own daughter. But she was so disturbed, got into such ugly relations & she was scarred for life. went to doctors etc., finally everything zeroed down to this- that if only her mother would have just accepted her kindly & told her she was worthy & spoken to her instead of letting the relation go like this.

Even her mother wasn't spared. They could never mend their relations, so she doesnt visit/ call / show her her grandchild..

So, even if your daughters getting out of hand, its worth sorting out instead of having 'an eye for an eye 'attitide.

Be assertive with her.

Tell your husband not to treat your feelings so lightly. It may be a small issue for him, but he must not let his daughter know that he doesnt agree with you on such matters- she will just use it as an excuse to disrespect you further.

It's sad that your husband didn't step in and back you up, but your daughter should have a proper respect for you without him needing to step in. I like the idea of you doing that to your daughter (although the ultimate goal needs to be that she wouldn't talk to you that way) - but you and your husband have some issues that need to be discussed - you need to talk to your husband, calmly explain how it makes you feel when he doesn't back you up regarding the kids, and figure out what you guys need to do to be on the same page.

DEAR

NO NO PLEASE READ DEAR ABOUT SAYING YES MAMA NO MAMA YES SIR AND NO SIR OK-PRETTY PLEASE WITH SUGAR ON TOP THIS WILL HELP DEAR I WAS RAISED WRITE CAN YOU TELL IT DEAR? WAS BORN IN 1972.

BACK THEN IF YOU DID NOT LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS AND ARE PARENTS YOU GOT IT GOOD REMEMBER? BACK THEN IT WAS ALL ABOUT RESPECT AND NOT EXCUSES ?

YOU DID AS YOU WHERE TOLD ARE YOU GOT IT AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN THERE WAS NO WAIT A MINUTE ARE ANY THING LIKE THIS IT WAS GO DO IT NOW NOT NEXT WEEK YEAR ETC. IT WAS DONE ARE YOU GOT IT GOOD ON THE SEAT OF YOUR PAINTS. NOW WITH THIS SAID DEAR USE THESE THREE THINGS FROM THE 50,S 60,S 70,S 80,S (1) WASH HER MOUTH OUT WITH DISH SOAP (2) SPANK HER LITTLE BOTTOM REALLY GOOD (3) PUT HER ON HER KNEES WITH HER NOSE TO THE WALL AND TAKE WAY EVERY THING DEAR I MEAN EVERY THING STRIP THAT ROOM CLEAN NO FRIEND NO PHONE NO TV NO COMPUTER EXPECT HOME WORK TO AND FROM SCHOOL NO CHATTING ON LINE NOTHING AND ON THE TOP 3 REPEAT IT REPEAT IT UNTIL THAT SMART LITTLE BRAIN SAY HAY YOU GIRL THIS IS BEGINNING TO HURT ME MORE THEN YOU OK. AND REMEMBER THE OLD SPEECH WE ALL GOT BEFORE THE SPANKING BY OUR PARENTS THIS HURTS ME WORST THEN IT DOES YOU CAN YOU REMEMBER THAT ONE USE IT ON HER IT HURT US NOT THEM THEY WHERE THE GIVER AND NOT THE RECEIVER ON THE OTHER END OK

TAKE CARE GOOD LUCK I DO NOT HATE LOVE YA DEAR

Let me share my own experience. My child said those horrible words to me when he was 12 years old. He didn't get his way on something and he blurted them out. My husband (his father) told him," don't you ever say such a thing to my wife. You can disagree with her, but you won't disrespect my wife in any way - do you understand?"

He went to his room mad, but came back out later and apologized to me. It never happened again. He's now in his mid-30's and a minister. As far as the way you are handling it, all you are teaching him is how to throw an adult tantrum. Assert yourself enough for her to know that you are the mom and the buck stops here. I never raised my voice in argument with my kids. As long as they wanted to talk to me calmly, I would listen and we could compromise. If they shouted, the conversation was over. Good luck!

Sorry, you're being childish. I'm sure you said something similar to your parents while growing up. We all did. Best to either ignore her comment and send her to her room until she decides to act in a behavior thats more acceptable. Don't take it to heart. SHe really doesnt wish you dead. If the lines of communication open up between you and her and your husband, just tell them it hurt your feelings. Then drop it.

That's a hard thing to hear from your own child. You may want to talk to a counselor for your own sake. How old is your daughter and what might have caused her to say something like that? Did she see something on TV or hear it from someone? I do think that there are better ways that you can handle the situation. Perhaps ask her why she said that and tell her what might happen if you were no longer around. Let he know that no matter what you love her, even if she is upset with you. And do let her know that is not appropriate to say to anyone.

first of all, you are the parent. there is no need to argue with your child over household rules. for memory purposes, write down each family member's responsibilities and then remember you are the adult and parent.

secondly, your daughter is just a child. she doesn't understand the finality of her statement. quit acting like her friend and she will treat you with more respect. her words were just words, intending to hurt.

parents need to be on the same page when it comes to discipline. make amends with the family, institute some rules (or all of you), and learn how to be respectful if you want respect.