Would you be ready for a zombie outbreak?

good one.

I live in Canada so guns are hard to come by .. once I'd ensured my wife was safe and had my cat and bad *** dog with me, hopefully my good neighbour buddy who's also a bad-*** and arm ourselves with bats, road flares and moltov cocktails .. I'd throw on my old motorcyle leather jacket and heavy (bite proof) clothing ..

then - I suppose I would troll around until I found some poor hapless law enforcement officials who had been killed, and scavange whatever weapons I could off their corpse (before they reanimated) then I'd take their police car..

then I'd go about ensuring some fresh water, food and more improvised weapons, board up my house as best I can and then look to getting out of the urban environment..

being as live on the water - I think we'd try and head down to the water and steal a boat.. .. as far as I know - zombies don't swim

I would start by "removing the head or destroying the brain," as seen in Shaun of the Dead, an excellent movie that everyone should watch. There's some great tips for dealing with "the Zed word" so it's actually really helpful. And it's a little scary, but it's meant to be a spoof on all the zombie movies that have been made, so it's rather hilarious, to say the least.

Oh, I'm sooo ready.

Step #1: DO NOT - I repeat - DO NOT follow that odd sound into the dark room with no flashlight.

Step #2: Keep the baseball bat or shotgun close at hand.

Step #3: Do Not Panic! Most fatal errors are caused by bumbling fools in a state of panic.

Step #4: Put gas in the car and make sure the automatic locks are working correctly.

If you can handle these simple rules, you can handle any zombie!

Yes, I would be ready. For one thing, I live in a city full of liberal democrats, what better practice could you have dealing with zombies than that? For another, I can go faster than your average zombie speed.

In case of a zombie outbreak, I would put up signs saying "Stupid, helpless teenagers without cell phones gathering area" with an arrow pointing "up." Since zombies are obviously irresistibly drawn to said teenagers, that should keep them confused and gathered together in one place for a long, long time. Also, in a dire emergency, I would put on a zombie outfit and walk around slowly mumbling "get them, get them!" until I found a nice avenue of escape.

Please note that zombies are repelled by the following: sun lamps, ballroom or ballet music, strong scented soaps and/or bath oils, those little silicon gel packets that help keep foods dry, churches, well-lit areas, breath mints, rainbows, cats and dogs, disinfectants, and the like.

Zombies are attracted to: punk teenagers, gun fire, dark and dank areas, screaming blondes, any place without outside connections, cemetaries, strong stinky odors, old cheese, restrooms, sewers, and the like.

Keep in mind:

1. You can't kill a zombie, because a zombie is already dead.

2. There is a psychological theory that zombies are not really the living dead who want to eat the brains of the living, but rather that zombies are monsters who are just misunderstood.

3. Zombies are not very social, do not write tasteful literature, are afraid of personal hygene, cannot talk (or cannot talk well), and certainly know little, if any etiquette. Distinguishing between them and your average punk-type teenager can be very difficult.

4. Zombies have only recently become involved in social activism. Usually their main theme is along the lines of "we do not have a theme", "thought-controlled", or simply a mind-numbing absolute blankness.

nope. I would not be ready. My shotgun is at my parents house which is 1 1/2 hrs away. I have some tranquilizer darts for a blow gun, but I really do not think they will work in a zombie.

Truthfully I would probably just board up the windows and chill in my house for awhile.

Yes. I live in a small town however. I have 15 swords, a couple guns and rifles. Tons of daggers and knives. I am ready for those zombies! We live on a hill which is perfect because we can see them coming. We are already preparing the house for the invasion.

Bring it on!

I would train the zombies to do my housework, do the laundry, drive me to the store, do all the cooking, give me a foot massage and draw me a bath at the end of the evening...LOL...oh, and one more thing...I would have the zombies act as my body guard so they will keep the weirdos away from me (ex-husband included). LOL

Ha! To be ready for a zombie outbreak you need the advice of this book:

http://www.randomhouse.com/crown/zombiesurvivalgui...

Good luck fellow survivor!

I've been prepared for a zombie outbreak since the debut of FOX News...rifles, handguns, grenade launchers, all the necessities.

I know where I keep my Nercronimicon. If the dead rise, than I shall thrive among them as lord and God. And if someone else got there first, I also have a chainsaw and Pyrotechnics.

"Azathoth, Yog - Sathoth, Shub Niggorath, Cthulhu, Yig, Nyarlthotep, Dagon. By the names of the old ones I bind the dead and call them up. By the secret name of death I bid thee to do my will and give me knowledge. Ia! Ia!"