It hurts like hell! How do I learn to let go?

So basiclly there dear he is playing with your hear tand mind. Thios guy broke up your marriage to another man then dumps you. Here is what you so. Go up to him and tell him how much he still means to you and that you really are still in lvoe him and to have him end it with this other chick and be with you again. If he doesn't want to leave . I suggest you move on and never talk to him again. If you keep letting him he just gonna drive the pain in to your heart deep and you'll never recover.

You have to give him a one last chance ..is he says no he won't leave this other chick then leave him foreve ..It will be the hardest thing in the world but you have to cut contact in order to protect yourself.

If you need to talk ...feel free to contact me !!!!!!!! I'll be more then glad to help you. We can talk and stuff. and I will help you ok.

sorry to hear what you're going through.

i am sure, as you say that he still sometimes looks at you the way he used to, that he still finds you beautiful and attractive and an amazing person (which is why he went out with you in the first place), but he knows that his situation right now is what is better for him, and for you.

As hard and hurtful as it is, you MUST find a way to move forward with your own love life. Dwelling on the past (even if your memory of it of a most beautiful time you spent together), will not change the present situation. By dwelling, you are only short changing yourself. Of course, this will be hurtful and very difficult, but it will be WORTH it in the end.

If right now you need to space yourself from your friend and his girlfriend, then do this. That may also be very hard to do, but why not try something new in your life? (i don't know what you're interested in , but try a sport or a pottery class or something that you are interested in.) the bottom line is, treat yourself, be confident, and know that when a love relationship is meant to work out, it will work out from both sides.

Just remember, if you care about him, then you should be happy that he has found love. If he cares about you, he does not want you to be unhappy, and especially not because of him. (it is a horrible feeling to care about someone deeply and for them not to be satisfied with what you can offer in the form of friendship.) time will resolve itself and you WILL find a person who will become an amazing part of your love life.

I know that this is not something that can be resolved in a single "answer"., but have faith that things will work out for you in the long run.

good luck!

You need to take some time away from him & his friend. Take some time and get involved in a new life without him. He has made his decision and moved on and now it's your turn. You shouldn't hate her, none of this was her doing.

Get more into your work or school. Volunteer with your church, Girl Scouts, become a big sister. Get out into your community and see what needs done to help it be better. Volunteer in a nursing home or hospital. What about your local library? Meet some new people and get out of your box. Get busy and stay busy. Your heart will heal and someday you will be gratefull for the experience as hard as that is to believe now. There is a reason for this even if you can't see it. Stay strong, get busy! Best wishes

Well, after reading your story and finding out you are neither playing house nor pregnant by this fellow, I find my heart going out to you because at some point everyone has experienced what you've described. All I can say is you need time and distance from him unless you can contain your love to a just friendship. That is, love him but not "in love with him" whatever that means. Try listening to country music and going to church. . . often that passes the time more pleasantly. On the other hand, you have a gift in your ability to write tellingly, so maybe you should consider writing a play, novel, or short story just to the lovelorn?

I was in that exact situation.

It was not until a year and a half after we broke up, and 6 months after he'd started dating someone else, that i realized how much i needed to just give myself a break from caring so much about him. you have to step back for a while and focus on your life WITHOUT him. he's your friend, He loves you. He'll still be there even if you stop calling every day. You need to. You are keeping yourself tied to him becasue you love him, but also because you are scared of what comes next. Don't be scared. It has to be better than where you are at.

And if he gives you grief about not being as available or you moving on from him, he does not deserve you. He should love you enough to tell you all of this himself! he shoudl want you to be as happy as he is, not waitin gon the sidelines in case something goes wrong with new girl.

good luck. you'll be ok. you just have to decide not to give so much of your heart to it every day.

OMG!!! I'm kinda going through something like that! Me and my best friends have been close for about 3 years. THe first day i saw him i thought he was the cutest boy in the world. All our friends have been telling me that my friend's been secretly in love with me - but i never really thought about it. I think i was half in denial and half disbelief. 3 years later (now), things have become mutual and that dream guy i was looking for this whole time, was HIM, the dorky boy next to me the whole time - who had to put up with me and my stories of other guys. I've never cared for someone so much and he's got me doing things i never thought i would do. I'm the first girl that's every "liked him back" but the thing is, he doesn't wanna pursue a relationship right now because of all the craziness in our life - as young adults, he thinks we need to get our **** done first before we do anything serious. He's the shy boy/romantic type (he kinda thinks like a girl). It's soo hard for me to deal with it because, the guy i want, i can't have. He's soo happy that we're best friends again but it hurts me - i'm just trying to tell myself it's all for the better - but I AGREE WITH YOU! IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!!! I feel like he's more "over it" than me because he's going back to his old crushes (who are already taken) just to hang out with them...i think he wants to get over me

ANYWAY, i don't know what else to tell you but that i UNDERSTAND where you are coming from completly. I think take a break from him for a while. If you're a really good friend, you'd support him - yeah sounds "nice" but grrr - i would hate that girl too...esp. knowing that the girl could be you...i know...just take a break from it, let him know you'll be there (even if you feel like crap)....jut hope and pray that you could be with him someday - girl, all i can say is that if it's meant to be with him, it will happen - it took ross and rachel 7 seasons! haha

So he does look at you, but its not the way that it use to be and you have to realise that now. Hes happy with her, yeah he says that she reminds him of yu sometimes but it doesnt really mean anything, it just means thathe will always care about you and have a special place in his heart for you and only you just not in the way that you would like. He only sees you as a friend a true and loyal friend. He does love dont get me wrong but hes not in love with you, he only loves you as a friend, there is a difference you can love someone and not be in love with them. Trust me. You dont hate her, you just dislike her cause you wish that it was you in her shoes and not her that is with him. I know your hurting but it will get better the pain will evetually go. You just have to accept the fact that your not gonna be with him again well not like how you use to anyways.

Your only gonna be his friend and I think that, thats whats hurting you the most. Is that he doesnt see you in that sort of light anymore.

Hun you just gotta move on, not quickly at your pace of course. Only time can mend the heart, all you can do really is forget about the mask and how about actually being happy 4 him. Cause if you care about him that much, all you would want is for him to be happy.

I tell you a story I am in love with my best friend in many ways I never thought possible. Now in couple of months is a job opening which is a once in a lifetime exp the only catch is, is that I have to go and live in the country that the company is from which is somewhere over near South Africa and I am from NZ. Anyways.... I have to choose btwn the man I love and a once in a lifetime job opportunity. Now I chose my career because why I know that I'm gonna regret it, Now I am gonna miss him like hell. And you wanna know the funny thing, I dont want him to wait for me, because I feel as if I would be, being selfish for keeping him waiting, so why do that when there is probably another person out there who can make him just as happy as I did. Of course my heart will be torn in two, but thats the price I pay because I am willing to let him go because I dont want to keep him waiting when he could be sharing his life with someone else who can make happy. Thats how much I love him!!!! Okay... So you say you care about him, then be happy for him and let him go.

Cause he would want you to be happy as well, not moping around.

So move on, let go and live life.

All the best and Good luck!!

move on...he doesnt really care for you he is just there when no he doesnt have anyone...im sure when they have misunderstanding with his new gf he would defo run to you and find some temporary comfort if things get better you be out of the picture again...it is ok to be friends after an intimate relationship but once it was ended it is something you have learn about to let him go just totally go we always says if its our true love he will come back and make good effort to have you back....dont fall to much for him as i can see he is happy seeing you jealous hes trying to make sure how much he affect you...and he knows how much you love him and that is his chances to just come at any time....remember you have break someone's heart when you decided to be with him and you have left someone that is willing to be there for you for the rest of your life what comes around goes around...it will always be....let your self pay for what you have done...your heart will be torn apart because it really hurts not to be with someone you want to be with...he knows how much you love him....but he still have the guts to hurt after all you have been through as you have said...go away run away from him....it will hurts really more...but then it the only way to know if you are meant to be...dont wait let the time heal your broken heart cry it out as much as you can...if you can surpass this you will learn so much from it...

Seems like u really messed up girl! Anyway...What i think here is this...Love is always two sided...here in your case also it was....but u say something "very wrong" happened....so think abt tht...i dont know wht it is...but if it lead to ur break up then it wudve been really something awful....so think abt it...what if it happens agian...I can understand how u still love him and cannot stand the other girl....but Love doesn't always mean getting...You have to sacrifice sometimes as well, So this time u just have to let go of him...If he is yours he will come back and if he doesn't then He never was! So calm down and move on in life girlie! Hope i ws able to help you! God bless...Keep smiling :)

If you don't know what happened to your relationship, when you get a chance alone with him, ask him straight out what had you done so badly that chased him away like that. If it is something that he can't forgive, then I suppose you are going to have to face the fact that you will never get another chance with him. So find yourself another guy, the sooner the better because he will keep your mind from wandering back to the one that you can't have.