Two old dears and one old trier!?

Two elderly ladies were talking. Ethel noticed something in Mabel's ear. She said to her friend "Mabel dear, did you know that you have a suppository stuck in your ear." Mabel pulled it out and replied "Ethel I'm so glad you saw this thing, now I think I know where my hearing aid is.

An 85 year old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor says to him "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the old man returns to the doctor's surgery. The doctor asks him "How did you go sir" The old man replies "Well, it's like this doc, I tried it with my right hand then I tried it with my left hand, but nothing. I even got my wife to help me, she tried it with both her hands, she even used her mouth, but still nothing. Even the lady next door lent a hand, she tried squeezing it between her knees and still, nothing would work.