How do I report a bully at work?

Hi.

I have a solution that worked for my wife on her latest job.

She quit her previous job because of a group of women, a click, that targeted her because she refused to be lazy like them. Every office environment has such people.

Here is what she did on her present job. When she heard them talking about someone (obviously my wife but not using her name) my wife would walk over and say - "Are you talking about me?" Of course they denied it . My wife would say - "Good. Glad to hear it." After that was done twice they began whispering their gossip. Eventually they stopped doing it within earshot of my wife. It was laughable.

My wife also stood up to the lead bully face-to-face. This bully is about 6 feet tall and is a huge woman. I mention this because my wife is 4-feet 11-inches, a tiger in a small package! The problem persisted so, at my advice, my wife kept a journal at her desk keeping a log of everything that happened that affected her personally at work.

Finally, with enough evidence (dates-times-incidents-perpetrators) she reported the problem to her Human Resources head. It was confidential and a meeting was held away from the office.

She told the H.R. person she felt "physically threatened". No Human Resources head wants to hear that phrase! They fear a lawsuit if they ignore it and something really terrible happens.

The H.R. person wanted to see what was in my wife's journal. My wife refused. This was another suggestion by me to keep H.R. in a state of legal fear. Giving up her evidence would have been a bad idea in case she did need to consult an attorney later.

Anyway, it worked. H.R. jumped right on it. A meeting was held and my wife confronted the head bully to her face. The bully was warned by the boss and the H.R. person. My wife has not had trouble since.

If you do not have an H.R. person you need to confront your boss with a phrase like - "I understand we have a policy of no-tolerance harrassment. I have been keeping a log of incidents where I have been targeted by (so and so) and I would like something done about it".

Again, if your boss wants to see your log, refuse. Simply say you feel "physically threatened" by this person and you want the policy enforced.

Finally - forget about what others think! Do you job so you are above reproach. Stay out of office politics. Don't gossip about anybody.

Eventually the bully will stop targeting you or will quit or be fired.

You can win this!

_________________________

Jim DeSantis publishes a blog about the workplace at http://on-line-tribune-workplace.blogspot.com/

There are two answers here. The first, which I would personally recommend also is to anonymously make it known this woman is harassing you.

The second comes from a recent article about successful career women.. It says, there is no right or wrong way to handle this, whether it's your assigned secretary, or someone you just can't work with, Their advice "Grow Up". There is always going to be something in your life beyond your control to make as you wish, and if the job, the salary, and the benefits satisfy you, learn to grow in a way you see yourself achieving the things you want for your life, and this person is so miserable in the same workplace, take your advantages as an adult, and grow up. It happens everywhere, it isn't discussed anyplace really well, and these discussions never end satisfactorily, unless you own the company.

Once you learn this you are more a success than this person could ever take from you, and if you ever move on, you will remember working alongside this person successfully for the things you want in life, and don't let her disturb this for one moment. Thank you

I am experiencing this everyday. For 8 hours straight. I am the main and seemingly the only person targeted at my job by nearly everyone male of female. It has caused me to lose some of my self confidence, I've begun to question my sanity, I've lost weight, I'm visibly more stressed than when I started this job. I often wonder whether I deserve it or not.

I have to remind myself that no one deserves it. It's caused serious emotional problems for me. I am a strong willed person whom throughout my life has had to defend myself against bullying. Now at 29 I feel like there's nothing I can do. It's all done covertly so it's hard to prove and bullying is not illegal.

As long as they are not discriminating or harassing you based on race, gender, disability,or sexual orientation, they are not breaking the law.

I don't have much advice for you except decide. Decide if you are going to stay or find a new job. If you are going to stay, keep track of everything that happens.

Take her aside and tell her what you think of her. Stand up for yourself and document all the incidents. If she doesn't stop, then you have all of the documents and go to your boss. If need be, record everything she says to you. Don't just roll over and play dead. No one should tolerate that kind of behavior. That bully should be fired if so many people complain about her. Don't let her run you out. If anyone should leave, it should be her, not you. Let them fire her instead.

Don't. First realize going to you boss or HR is a lose-lose situation. You will look like a malcontent who has trouble dealing with people. Remember the old saying, "Never wrestle with a pig because you both get dirty and someone watching may not be able to tell the difference between you."

Second, you need to learn how to stand up for yourself because life is full of bullies and you can't run away from all of them. Confronting them is the best way...

1. Learn some verbal self-defense. get the book, "When I say No, I feel guilty". The book will give you a blue-belt in verbal self-defense. It is chock full of examples of gently putting people in their place. It is well written and easy reading.

2. Suzette Haden Elgin's book, "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" is also good. It is a more scholarly book and it does not read as well but it is good.

Human nature has no changed in 20,000 and it won't change in another 20,000 years. Seek the wisdom of others in good books and put their wisdom into action. It will change your life. I was having problems at work with back stabbers and I learned to put them in their place very quickly. In fact, I use to look forward when people verbally attacked me because it gave me a chance to put them in their place. After a few months no one mess with me. I actually kind of miss being attack during meetings because I can't practice my verbal jui-jitsu like I use to. But I'm weird. :)

i've got examine your previous questions on the topic of this undertaking and under those circumstances i could say definite. actually. This needs to be dealt with on the instant... and that i do no longer propose pass tell the first approximately it, because of the fact then they're going to easily get suspended or something and be much extra ticked off whilst they get returned. call the POLICE. i became into mocked and insulted and pushed around on a on a regular basis foundation in the time of my training and one in each and every of my greatest regrets is that I in no way took care of the undertaking. I in elementary terms vaguely remember my training because of the fact nearly all of those suggestions are no longer friendly so I in basic terms finally end up getting annoyed approximately issues that got here approximately an prolonged time in the past, and that i do no longer think of i became into getting it everywhere close to as badly as your chum is (i became into relatively obese). extremely, get this reported, and get it dealt with now earlier it gets worse.

Find people who feel uncomfortable with this person, and all you get together and file a complain to the human resource office and the boss personally.

You should seriously try to talk to the person that's bothering you. Just tell her you don't want her to be rude to you. Suppose she doesn't even know that you're bothered by this. Just try to make it clear with her. You shouldn't have to keep quiet about it and ask your boss to fire her or something.

If she refuses to stop being rude to you, just 'threaten' that you will speak to your boss about it.

When the bi*ch gets going, and you feel it is about you, engage her with a smile on your face and interrogate her as to about whom she is speaking. Get her to say who it is she is talking about. Be a broken record, keep her engaged, ask her over and over again until you break her. It can be done. Just remember to speak softly and keep smiling all through her tirades, you'll get to her.

you can anonymously email a complaint to your boss about the issue.