Am I being too harsh when it comes to homework?

Support your son's strengths (as it sounds like you are). The best things that you can do related to school work are, ask him to bring home one or two pieces of work that he's proud of each week. Look for the strengths in those, and ask him to explain how he did it. For instance with a math paper pick some of the problems he did well and ask him how he got them correct. If he doesn't know you can make it a multiple choice question, "Do you think it is because you line them up carefully, because you checked your work, or you got lucky?" His considering these sorts of questions about how he did well will crystalize in his mind what sorts of behaviors have lead to his success. Your positive interactions about his work will make it more likely that he'll want to share with you what he's doing at school. Your questions will increase his intrinsic interest in the subjects. Ask him questions that use evaluation. "What else do you think your teacher should have included on this test?" This elicits high level thinking and strengthens his relationship with you.

He may never be an academic sort. Remember that whatever behaviors we give the most energy, attention and emotion, we will get more of. That means that when we zero in on our kids behaviors we don't want, we end up getting more of them. This is a well studied psychological principle. Focus on poor grades and you get more poor grades.

Also remember that people make it in life based on their strengths, not on doing everything well. How did Michael Jordan do in art class? Who cares? He succeeded based on his strengths and on what he loved to do. How about Bill Gates, what was his social studies grade his sophomore year? Doesn't matter.

The last and most important point is that we have all sorts of things in our culture that work against our relationships with our kids. I was a teacher for ten years and work in the psychology field now, and I can tell you from lots of experience that chipping away at your relationship is NOT WORTH IT, even though you'll get plenty of advice telling you to hound him. In my years of working with families I have never seen parents WIN the homework battle. Everyone loses.

Schedule a homework time. Only help if it is enjoyable for both of you. He can do homework, or he can think about homework. Another option that you are likely already using is to just make his play actvities contingent on getting his work done with reasonable care. Overall I like the former approach better the older the kid is. It communicates to them that homework is important to schedule time for (and enforce), but that it is up to the kid to make the effort to complete it well. The older kids get the more likely it is that hovering will alienate them and drive a wedge into your relationship.

Never ever compare. I learned this the hard way. My oldest was reading at age 4 and could read chapter books by 1st grade. My 2nd adn 3rd read chapter books by the time they got out of 1st grade. My 4th could not read well until this year and it is his 2nd year in 2nd grade. He is reading above leval now but needed a little help. Some kids can sing some are tone deaf. All of my boys could right their name and numbers by age 4. My 4 year wont even pick up a pencil. As far as homework...if the teacher assigns it then yes he has to complete and I would keep working with him on his spelling words. Read to him and if he sees a spelling word he has in the past have him point it out. Buy some fun educational games like site word bingo, srabble jr. and fun computer games that are educational. He is still young and just because he can't read yet is really not a big deal. Alot of kids his age can't read yet. Just make learning fun. Play some cames in the car. We would pick a word then see how many we could come up with one that ryhmes with it etc while driving in the car. Good luck.

Don't give up. Explain to him that reading and math are important skills no matter what field he goes into. The music requires a lot of math and the drama requires lots of reading. Try going over a little at a time. My daughter hates being drilled on her spelling words and hates homework. She would rather be outside riding her bike or playing with friends. Try waiting a few hours after he gets home. Don't bombard him straight off the schoolbus. Also, don't encourage him to cram. Study a little each night instead of a lot on thursday preparing for the friday spelling test. Find a genre of books he actually likes. For me, it was Nancy Drew, but hey... even comic books work. Anything to get him interested in reading. Don't constantly nag. Just be gentle but firm. I know that's easier said than done. Just try to treat him like you'd want to if you were having trouble grasping something.

I too have a son and daughter, only they are one age level below your two kids. My daugther is the same, my son is the same except he does like math, he just doesn't like the daily grind, and his spelling is the same....sometimes he can't remember how to spell the simple words. I have decided that it is NOT MY JOB to hound him. I expect him to do his homework, and I sit with him and help him a little bit, but I do not say negative things to him, always POSITIVE....You have to learn to keep it POSITIVE. Since I did not want my relationship with my son to be about me nagging him on his school work, we got him a tutor through Sylvan. Yes it costs money, but it is worth every penny. He gets help academically and my relationship with him remains positive....if nothing else, you need to always point out the bright side, no more negative comments, for every time you make a negative comment, you are undoing all the good ones....I'm not saying that you lie to him, I'm saying that you try to find motivational ways to keep him on track, rewards, etc. If he messes up, take away his drama time for an hour. You don't have to tell him he's a screw up, just keep it simple. "If you don't complete your homework in one hour (or whatever is reasonable) then I take away one hour of drama or singing or whatever it is. It's simple, non emotional.

Practice his spelling, math, etc. as songs, dances and skits. Those are his strengths and the things he enjoys, so use them.

Reward him with a day out (just the two of you!) to a bookstore (used bookstores are fine) to pick out a book of his choice and then go to a restaurant for dessert. I used to do this every Friday with my daughter for a good week. She associates books with rewards and pleasant thoughts, not fights and chores.

My husband is a high-school drama teacher. Just about every student in his program is gifted and has excellent grades. Lay off on the fights and focus more on the rewards. However, do not allow your child to turn on the television or use any media until his homework is done. Work comes first, but not at the price of your relationship.

Don't ease up to the point where Homework takes a back seat to performing, but unless you are supportive and explain why homework is important, he will only try to do the work out of fear of failure. This in turn is like 'cramming', instead of him actually learning and understanding his education, he will be conditioned to thinking the work is only important for the test, therefore after the test the knowledge is lost, as it isn't needed anymore.

Also, your positive support will give him confidence in himself, and he will learn that education has value. If he lives in fear of education, he will learn to either cheat or push it away altogether. Think of how much you understood of your future when you were his age. Looking back, you hadn't the slightest idea what it would be like did you? Neither does he, so the fear you are trying to instill on him won't work the way you are trying to make it work.

You are looking out for your sons future, which is excellent. Just make sure you do it the right way, the way that he understands.

I don't know, i'm no mother but if you ask me, you should go easy on him. It's okay to keep persuading him to study. In fact, it's only right that you should care about his education because you're his mother. Support and help him while he keeps on trying to read or study mathematics. Changes can't happen overnight, but maybe eventually he'll get it right.

Fighting and saying mean things to him when he doesn't get it right only makes things worser than what they already are. Your son's self-esteem will drop because he will think that you don't have confidence in him. Simply let him know that you are there to help if he does not understand any math question or needs assistance with his spelling.

As for his talent as an incredible performer on stage, you should be proud of his passion. He sounds more like a right-brain student than a left-brainer, who sees things from a global style instead of an analytic style. It will be nice if you give him your full support in this; trust me, he will appreciate it.

No! Do not ease up on homework. While dancing and singing and drama are all equally good subjects, you must still show equal respect to math and reading as well. Children learn differently and you just need to find waht works for your son. Do not however compare him to his sister as in the end he may end up hating her and you. Do not ease up on homework, give all subjects equal share and help your son find his knack! Also, stop sayin mean things to your son, he will begin to resent you!

properly i think of which you have each and every top to punish her if she became disrespectful and/or disobeyed you. i became allowed to placed on makeup at 13 to college, yet merely a minimum quantity, i could by no skill have been allowed to placed on what you defined even at 18 nevertheless!!! as a techniques because of the fact the tantrum and different habit she's have been given emotional subject concerns as you pronounced and any interest, even damaging interest is powerful to her. I actually have a 15 twelve months previous that i've got been by using all this with, and that i had to place him in counseling and it helped a ton. I additionally went to counseling too (with him) and the counselor became superb with innovations and tricks for me to objective at living house to help the region. i think of you're superb for taking this on and giving your sister a house and that i'm particular that sooner or later she would be able to be grateful and see you have been merely doing what you theory became suitable for her (a minimum of i wish). Be consistent nevertheless and in case you punished her and he or she deserved it, do not backtrack or she'll use it against you each and every time, I made this mistake!!!! I truly wish you the suitable of luck!!!

Do you remember the old saying, " If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all" ? That's what you need to do. Stop putting down your son about his homework. He clearly needs your help but all you do is yell at him. Whats the matter is the work too hard for you too? Not everyone is perfect everything they do. Next time try sitting down and helping him, no matter how long it takes, always say good things.