How do you learn to to deal with the anger and depression of being cheated on after 30 years of marriage?

You acknowledge and accept what responsibility you had that contributed to your spouses weakness....if you feel you had absolutely nothing to do with it...that would be the first lesson you need to understand..if you can't then regardless of where your relationship goes from here, you bound to repeat such dysfunction within your relationship....if your going to stay in the relationship, your spouse must do the same....

Well, my marriage is going into the "early 20's". Spouse cheated before 10 yrs. and several times more. I have learned to deal with it by falling out of love with him. Not my choice, it just happens. I am fortunate to have found love again. I'm not angry anymore. I just don't care about spouse.

the same as you would after 1 or 10 or 20 yrs....... You grieve, you get angry, you throw things, you ask why, you hate, you get more angry, then you come to the point of choice...... you make the choice to forgive and go on alone, you make the choice to forgive and work on what could be a stronger marriage than before, or you make the choice to let it take over your life......... been there and done that... I made the choice to stay and work and fight and to at least give it all I had....... and so did he...... we are now going on 31 yrs...... all this happened to us 18 yrs ago........ it aint easy at first, it takes all you have and more, but it CAN be done, IF BOTH partied want it bad enough........ if you are in the position that he has left, then YOU need to take who YOU are and make life work for you........ do not let HIM make the choice for you....... you be YOU !!!!!!!!! and let him go on with his life and be who he is.......... God bless

Buy a Gun.....Just kidding....hon go to counseling. It's the onlything that will help you move on, regain your strength and self respect. Being able to express your hurt, anger and other feelings, will make a great difference for you. Seek a therapist right away, and take care babe.

ive only been married 2 years to the most loving man or so i thought! he left me for a woman hed known for 3months! he only came back when she dumped him 2 weeks later! i took him back with open arms and now seriously think i did the wrong thing ,he now knows i will forgive him for anything and treats me like dirt ,im sorry but the only way you can get over his affair is to get over him the best way you can ,by thinking of yourself and no-one else,and re-starting your life without him.

i know this is difficult but not as difficult as wondering where and who hes with 24/7 which will happen.

please dont think it was anything you did because all you did was be loving and loyal just like he should of been.good luck xx

i recommend you turn your life over to the care and will of god are father in heaven jesus christ knows what it is like to go through stuff, and life gets so hard we just wanna give up but dont give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens. always trust god and he will deliver you more than any doctor or medication can or councelar, remember god works through those people to help you recover, but it is god himself behind the scences who is helping you cope and get through. god will find the right person to councel you and talk with you. just ask him and pray to him. he will hear u he loved you when you were born and will continue to love you untill the day you die. goodluck and always trust and believe in god are creater of heaven and earth.

I am sorry, by giving everything to God, He loves you, all He wants is you to invite Him into your heart, He hates a broken heart, and can comfort you.....Jesus love you

Realize you are not alone. I am a member of that club too.

therapy will help

it might never Heal totally tho