Need advice on socializing with other Firefighters?

First off, you are female.. now , I know that sounds like I am bagging on you, but hear me out.

Fire departments, right or wrong, have been traditionally male groups, there are many departments that do not have many if any at all, females in their ranks.

bringing in another gender can make difficulties such as showering, and sleeping accomidations, general gender bias (women are the weaker sex type of thing), to the fatherly/protector type of idealism (what if a lady firefighter gets hurt).. it stems from all areas.. however I have seen many fire departments broken apart morally because a female attempted to fit into a fully male team, but instead of really attempting to fit, they forced in, and tried to change the "fellowship" or "Brotherhood" to meet her own idealism.

Jokes around the firehouse can get downright rude sometimes, "guy" talk can be even worse than what I assume ladies talk about when they group together in their restroom. now get a lady (not all females) and have her file EEO complaints because of stuff that has been ok in the fire house for decades, and file complaint after complaint, then have to modify standards for her, set a shower schedule that causes you to wake up earlier than needed, giving a bias towards her for physical work or promotions because she might complain she is discrminated against.. It happens, been there, seen it.

Now, after all that whining, I have seen several female firefighters that could technically and mentally beat the guys any day of the week., what they could not do with upper arm strenght, they found ways to do with full body strenght (Female are usually stronger in the hips than in the arms and men are the opposite)

For your particular problem, it is a tough one, trying to break the gender bias is sometimes near impossible.

Try some of these:

1. You know your chief and supervisors, see if you can talk to them.. tell them you dont want to get anyone in trouble, however, you were looking for suggestions and advice.

2. my wife is a volunteer firefighter, she says you have to work twice has hard to prove yourself, sorry but that is the way it is.

3. be technically sound, make sure you know your stuff.

4. Just because you are not a party-animal, does that mean you decline all social gatherings? Attending a party does not always mean you have to get rip roaring drunk. you can attend, show a presence, and then bow out early.

5. try dealing with they guys more towards a guys level, show rude comments dont bother you (even if they do), however if it comes to hard-core harassment, talk with a supervisor. But try to show that you are not gonna upset their little world.

6. If what they are doing is upsetting your attempts at training such as EMT, there should be no problem with going to the instructor and asking the name of the book.. just dont say, well the guys at the station wont tell me...

7. in a private place, at home, document the harassment, the insults, the negative and demoralizing contacts or lack there of in a journal, it might be usefull later if legal ever gets involved, or they try to "force you out" of the department.

8. (not that this really has to do with you) unless you are married to one of the other members, keep personal relationships out of the firehouse.. (I tell this to guys wanting to date the girls also) Nothing good EVER comes from this in the long term.

9. Join a website or newsletter or online group dealing with women firefighters (will try to list a few below.)

10. I have been with my present departments (Both a paid and a local volunteer one), and there are alot of people I do not socalize with more than needs to get the job done.

11. I would be hard pressed to think that they would turn their backs on you in a dangerous situation.. outside of that, sure, but, I bet it would go more to their benefit to rescue the "little lady" vs let a partner get injured. If their hazing of you endangers you, the crew, the department, the citizens of your area, then you need to go to the chief (hopefully with evidence and documentation) See #7

EMS and firefighting can be a rather "clicky" bunch of people. When I got my paramedic certificate, and started working, I was ignored a whole lot. People spread rumors that I couldn't do the work, but over time, they discovered that I wasn't going anywhere, and they started to treat me much better. Now, I'm just one of the gang.

It takes a lot of time for firefighters and paramedics to accept a new person into their fold. It took be about a year before they fully accepted me.

Are you volunteer or paid? Because volunteers are the worst of them all when it comes to "excluding" people. Depending on what area of the country you live in, they can be incredibly sexist, too.

If firefighting is what you are interested in, don't let them discourage you. Stick to what you love doing, and eventually, the rest will fall into place.

I have seen a lot but it has always been true, we still have to 'fight' as women to be respected. I work in the same industry and it is possible to have friends outside of your job, the hardest thing is going to work and dreading it, being shunned is hard, it will eventually make you feel like you dont even want to go to work, but always remember why you became a volunteer firefighter and why you want to take the emt basic. never lose that and you will succeed.!! good luck and keep your chin up, it will eventually work out. p.s. dont change departments, that will only make them feel like they won!!

Just because you don't party doesn't mean you're no fun. You can be fun so long as you make them comfortable with their partying. Joke around stand up for yourself, rip on them (make fun of them in a cool way in front of others). You will endear youself by not being a nerd and showing your just like them without the drinking.

P.S. You can trust them. Even if a firefighter doesn't like you 99.9% will work with you like a pro in a real life situation. Just make sure you're ready and hope they are! Maybe you'll have to save one of their hungover butts!

To be totally honest with you, I wouldn't mind paying for the services that I use (schools, roads, etc) or may need to use (as in the fire dept, police etc) IF you wipe out all the taxes we pay. That way I can take care of my family and everyone else can take care of their family. Throw in a little charitable donation here and there to help those whom I would like to help and it's all good. I agree with you that a little government regulation so people don't get gouged and it would be fare for all. Bring it on. Then we could get rid of some of the government agencies. Yeah, right. Like they would let that happen.

if it bothers you that badly why don't you volunteer at another department? you can only be yourself and if they don't like it well it's their loss...

Just be yourself, and socializing will come