response to wife of 6 months cheated. (for those who answered)?

I do not know if I answered his question or not, I am a strong believer in married people being honest and trust worthy.

If a person is not happy in the marriage, then do the honorable thing and get out.

It sounds like there were numerous problems in relationship, and I do wonder why they were not seen before the marriage.

It appears you may in the future be in a more positive relationship.

I am adding the following data that you may find useful.

Years of research by psychologist have shown that most long-term marriages have some very common factors. Lack of any two or more of these factors indicates there is high probability the marriage will not last. (Long term –is defined as a marriage of more than 20 years)

1. Both parties married at age 25 or older.

2. Religious compatible (example: Jews + Hindu just do not work)

3. Common goals (someone likes a simple life, not chasing material wealth or career and some that is very goal minded for gaining as much material wealth as possible, together they do not make a lasting marriage. Another example, a conflict over having children).

4. Social economical compatible (poor + rich only works in the movies)

5. Financial responsible (debt is the number one cause of divorce)

6. Open Communications (agree that it is ok not to agree, tell each other your most hidden secrets, keeping the secrets from everyone, no name calling, and etc)

7. Both parties are very much alike (opposite may attract, but they do not make for a lasting marriage)

8. Sexual compatible (variety in sexual act + partner that finds some acts repulsive, does not make a lasting marriage.

9. Both individuals are not egoist. (a egoist believes that everyone would be happy by making them happy)

No, you don't give her a chance. You already did. You heard the expression "once a cheater always a cheater"? Of course you have. It's not always true. But she's proven that she can't change for you. The saddest thing is that people DO change, but it will probably take the shock of really losing you to make her realise she needs to make the change. There is no future in that relationship. Not even the deepest love can survive that deep a betrayal. You can try, but it will consume you. You will control her because you're so afraid of it happening again, and you may never trust her again. You both need a fresh start. Shes deserves a fresh go, too. She'll neevr get over the guilt. It will never be the same as before. She isn't a bad person, and hopefully one day you can be friends, but she has trashed the relationship you had and a clean break is the best thing. I'm sorry. Good luck xx

I did not read the letters from your husband, but I am always aware that every person that I respond to has given me only one-half of the story and only one perspective. Often I find that the person that posts a question has clearly contributed to the issues from statements that are made in the posts. Since one can only respond to the questions that are asked by the person, the replies will have a one-sided perspective also. In addition, there are some people that are quick to pass judgment. Perhaps watching too much "Jerry Springer".

I am sorry for you and for the fact that your husband felt the need to air your dirty laundry in public. This is something that should have never happened.

As far as your situation, you know the right way to have done all this would have been to divorce first play after.

Therefore you are both at fault. Go get your divorce and try to make the split as easy as possible.

Then you can both go on with life.

I'm sorry darling but 2 wrongs don't make it right! the fact is that you cheated with his friend and now you are trying to rationalize it. if you are not happy or were not happy that doesn't give you the right to cheat on your husband. if he cheated on you before and you continued to accepted it then who is to blame for that? exactly "YOU".

So instead of acting like a mature adult, and get a divorce you go whooring around to get back at him? very nice! ..NOT

So now that the score is even and both have cheated on each other are you going to be mature enough to act like adults or you going to keep cheating and see who wins?

I say, you guys deserve each other and unless you both grow up and act like adults then I don't feel sorry for any of you!

You got what you asked for!

why do either one of you care what people all over the world who are reading about your dirty laundry think???

Do you really care that he's telling us a "one sided story"?? Who are we to you???

Now that we've heard "both sides"... I can honestly say that my input would be...........................

BOTH of you are messed up and need to get seperate lives.

First start with going back to school and hanging out with smarter people.... maybe it will rub off.

Yep, i would be more than irritable, i'd be seriously pist off. okay now that we've got both sides he needs to actually read what you wrote and maybe a little light bulb in his head will go off and he will say aha by george i've got it now why she is so angry! I don't blame you one bit sister!

what was the original question? i'm only getting "one side" of the story here....

get a divorce.

TAKE IT TO A MARRIAGE COUNCILOR!! this is not the place for marrital spats.

I'll be on yoyur side.email me if you want to talk.