Why do people go 'ummm' ?

It's an irritating habit people have when they are choosing their words or when they can't think of an answer to your question.

If you watch Judge Judy, you will hear her say many times: "Ummmm is not an answer!!!!" I love that phrase and I use it often.

Heres a long one.

Its for a number of reasons, one is nervousness and is a bit like a stammer, its as if theyre trying to stop what they were going to say comming out in fear of sounding silly. This reason would mostly apply to someone who is unsure of themselves.

Another reason is in intelectual conversations the factual side of the brain is giving the person information whilst the creative side is thinking of the best/wittiest way to potray the information. The brain can get a little confused and go blank the "ummm" is buying the person time to process thier thoughs.

Another one is "a fake" its rarely a subconsious umm like the previous but more of an act. People will use this when telling the trying to conceal ther real thoughts about something for instance. Woman asks "Do i look fat in this dress?" And the changing room assistant who thinks yes you look seriously obese will say "Well, ummm i think we can find you somehting that will make you look smaller" The changing room assistant is using the ummm to create the illusion that hes thinking,hes undecided and that he found it hard to tell the lady she does look obese.

When we say ummm we are generally strengthening the lip muscles (give it it a go) and closing the mouth whilel releasing a sound. "m" is one of the more phoenitically easier sounds to produce, and most toddlers love making the noise.

Perplexity increases tension which is reproduced in our facial muscles, a sound is expected so we reproduce one fitting for the occaision.

The "mmm" while thinking is also similar to a dogs growl when he meets another while thinking over the best way to approach the situation.

Maybe it means - don't get too easy now, I am trying to figure you out, but in the mean time don't get too close to me.

edit

eeeto. Yes the Japanese say eeeto while fumbling around for an answer. Probably different in origin. eeee is a common sound for surprise. "to" means "and" in Japanese. The difference probaly comes from the fact that the Japanese are less confrontational in language. Still, if you hit them with something a bit daring they will give a gluttoral mmm. They also say mmmm instead of eeeto when thinking for something to say if they don't believe in what was just said.

Ummm is therefore probably more primal, eeeto probably the result of culture.

Several reasons :

Firstly, in human communication a silence is often taken unconsciously as being rude / uncomfortable.

So while we are thinking of what to say, we use "holding" sounds like "ummm", "errr", "well now.." etc in order to show the person we are talking to that we are going to reply.

Secondly it's also used to avoid giving an immediate response, so as not to appear blunt. Especially when the response is likely to dissappoint, annoy or create a problem.

Thirdly, it can be used to prepare ourselves for conflict if we can see that the conversation is heading for an uncomfortable area.

Examples :

"Have you done your homework?" ummm no.

--> avoidance of a problem, preparation for a conflict

"Did you like my cooking?"

"Well.... not really"

---> Avoids a blunt "no"

"What do you think about the economic situation in Mongolia?"

"eerrrmm...... [your reply]"

---> shows you have heard the question, are thinking about the answer and avoids silence

Well it depends if the ummmm is for a thought or as for a desire of eating something good. I think it's probably because of TV this 'ummmm' comes from way back from the 60's when teenagers used to use the 'ummm' too much and well as you can see now everyone is going ummmm......

I use "ummm" occasionally. What it means is that a person has gotten into the question as though they are sitting at a table having coffee with you (personal basis) and the "ummm" means they are thinking deeply about your question and figuring it out to give you the best answer they could.

Obviously, as everybody else has said, it's just a filler - a pause while thinking.

But it is important to note that 'ummm' isn't some innate sound. It varies from language to language. For example, Japanese say Etto and Chinese say neige - many languages each have their own words for these kind of fillers.

Some more info:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/05/06/the_odd_bo...

It's primary sound patterns. First noise you make as a baby (other than waaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaaa) is mmmm.

Its the sound thats been in our conciousness the longest and most readily accesible when we're trying channel thoughts elsewhere, although subconciously being aware that we need to give an audible response to the other party to avoid looking rude.

It's to give the person some time for thought, but it is way, way better than 'you know' which some people drop into conversation approximately every three words for the same reason. I end up getting cross and saying "well actually, I DON'T know and won't do either unless you can explain yourself properly".

I use 'um' to indicate that I've heard and understood the question but need a moment to think. My husband doesn't - he just does the thinking without the 'um'. This drives me nuts, because his thinking process can go on for a while, and in the meantime I've no idea whether he actually heard the question.