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Warning- Don't Read If You're Allergic to Cheese...?

These jokes are so cheesy you could melt them on toast...

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

Update:

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Update 2:

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.

18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal". The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Update 3:

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...............A super callioused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

And there you have it! 20 Cheesy Jokes. :)

24 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I've heard every single one of them & I still love 'em all!

    Well done you, for taking the time & effort to make us smile!

    (no.4 made me laugh - I'd forgotton that one)

    :))

  • Dolly
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I like cheese! Star 4 u missy x x x

  • 1 decade ago

    wow, lots of typing...those were funny, in a cheesy sort of way, but well worth the reading!

    Great Job!

  • 1 decade ago

    Sooooo cheesey but absolutley loved 3 & 18

    Have a ster from me!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Not bad. At least this cheesey selection did not leave me constipated!!

    Good Job!!!

  • ?
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    These are all Tommy Cooper jokes.

  • 1 decade ago

    i think somebody has been hanging out with Basil Brush

  • 1 decade ago

    i have to go to the doctors now to get be chees allergy tablets

  • 1 decade ago

    Lol Have a star!

  • 1 decade ago

    Take took a lot of effort on your part and made me laugh...so thanks very much love...have a great day or night...depending on where you are...hugs

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