Can I get some help here?

Question

I am a 35 yr old disabled woman. I have a Pulmonary Sarcoidosis as well as Lupus & I am supposed to avoid as much stress as possible due to having high blood pressure in my lungs (how do you avoid stress?). What I need help with is this. My mother goes for a PET Scan friday, to find out what the mass is on her lung. The paperwork stated not to rule out malignancy so she is constantly talking about having cancer and dying. She was only supposed to stay with me a week because of my illness and she won't go home right now. She has me so stressed at this point that I don't know what to do. Friday night, she asked me to pray to God to let her die that night so she wouldn't have to suffer any longer. She is constantly talking about her ex husband who has been so abusive to her mentally & physically. We just had a small spat earlier because my husband mentioned that me & him would get out of town and she got ticked about it because she said that we didn't have the money to go anywhere

Update:

No but we have friends that we can spend the weekend with and she says well I wish I had a friend that I could go visit. I feel like I am being pushed to the limit on how much I can take. Don't get me wrong, I love my moma but it seems like she wants to talk about dying & billy all the time and I have asked her to stop because I can't take it and she said what do you want me to do>I have to talk about it. I feel like I am d@mned if I do & d@mned if I don't. Please give me some advice on how to approach this. And by the way, I have 4 sisters.

mrscokelady · Accepted Answer

Sheila I am so sorry for your stress and man do you have it. I understand that you love your momma but you also are in poor health. May I ask where are your sisters? Have you told them what is going on? Is there any way that they may come stay with your momma so you can get a break? How about a preacher can you talk to one of them? Has your doctor been informed of what is going on in your personal affairs? I am sure if he knew he would insist that you make some changes NOW. Girlfriend you have to take care of your self because no one else will and your momma has so much to worry about right now she can only think of her self unfortunately. I will pray for you and your family. I to am disabled and can not get any help state or SSD we are close to losing our home due to not enough money to pay bills. I have been up all night crying debating suicide to ease the burden on my husband. GET YOUR SISTERS INVOLVED. Good luck to you hun.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, I guess you should talk to your mother in a loving and caring way and first make her understand that she's not gonna die. Besides, nobody has hold over life and death. Everyone has to leave this world sometime. So, instead of being depressed your mother should spent quality time with the family and tell her that you all love her very much and you all are with her. So, nothing is gonna happen to her. Tell her to be happy and have a great time with family. And Do let her know in a very polite way that all this thing is constantly building up a lot of stress on you, so, instead of asking her to leave just ask her to Help you get out of this stress. She will understand.

Moeisha · Answer

First of all you have to put yourself first. You dont need this stress in your life and most importantly you CAN'T. Sit your mother down and tell her that she's putting too much stress on you and that you really cant have it. Tell her the best thing she can do for you is to go back home and let you rest for a while. Sure it may be a bit harsh but if she loved you (which im sure she does) shed understand fully. Of course let her know how much you love her and that youll always be there for you but you just need to take a break due to your condition.
Best of luck
god bless
xoxoMoeisha

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Can I get some help here?

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