Question for ladies? Married man, but have a little crush on...?

Sometimes a harmless crush is just the beginning. You're already talking about "emotional intimacy" and that emailing her would be cool. If you're not getting the connection from your wife that you need, talk to your wife.

Also, if the situation were in the reverse, and it was your wife that felt this way about someone else, how would that make you feel? Would you feel betrayed? Would you wonder why she didn't come to you first? Would you be able to forgive her?

Find the source of why you're feeling this way. Talk to your wife, go to couples or individual counseling. Keep in mind that it's easy to come up with a scenario in your mind that 's not based on reality. She's a waitress, you're a regular customer. It's to her advantage to be nice to you, you probably tip better than her other customers. In short, don't ruin what you have with your wife and family, improve on it. Go to lunch someplace else.

No one ever intends to cheat, but somehow it just happens. Don't put yourself in a position where you'll be tempted.

I think since you seem very faithful to your wife and are not thinking of this other woman in a physical way, it shows that there is something that you are desiring that you are missing. What is it that you see in the waitress that your wife doesnt have? When you figure that out you can find your problem. I would most definetly suggest not to e-mail or communicate with this waitress, if anything stop going to the restraunt so you dont develop any more feelings.

As you said it is "emotional intimacy that your wanting". You are not getting this from your wife right now and so you are looking for it in someone else. When you find what it is you are needing, talk to your wife and work it out with her. Become more emotionally intimate with your wife so that you dont desire it in another. If you dont fix the problem it will only get worse to the point where you will do something that hurts your wife.

Does your wife know about this woman? If you truly just want to talk with the waitress, then it should be something you can share with your wife. I think it sounds like there is some emotional aspect that is missing in your own marriage. It sounds like your wife means a lot to you and you are still in love with her, but something is missing in your marriage to make you seek emotional stability somewhere else. You should take a deep look in your marriage and see what is missing. I would also advise that you stop eating lunch in that place. What starts out as a friendship and casual correspondence, could end up destroying your marriage.

I think that it would be dangerous for you to pursue any sort of anything with this woman because although you may love your wife to death and have NEVER cheated which is great an intellectual attraction with someone is so much more dangerous then just a physical because when someone can touch your mind it sparks something inside of you and before you know it your rolling in the hay with this person. if i were you I'd just admire her from a distance there's nothing wrong with looking.

I think you should talk to your wife, because it sounds like you are missing something that you need in the marriage, that emotional intimacy. But having friends, as long as its nothing more should be alright....but watch out, women are very jealous, so be sure you are still talking to your wife, and not just to the waitress.

talk to your wife but first try to figure out what you are missing at home - does your wife have the same qualities as the ones you admire in this girl - if not, maybe help her a bit. try to spice it up at home so she is the only one on your mind. even as a friend your wife should be the most important person and best friend you have. if you want to lose her - then go for this other girl..

this is a tough one....i have answered many questions on here but i think that this one is the toughest one....i think that this happens to a lot of people....i think that if two people are together that they should be able to look at other people but i don't believe in cheating...at all...but i don't see the harm in liking someone while u are married....as long as u don't touch someone or anything like that then i think it is ok. i think that if u go out of your way to see the person then your wrong. i think that if u are happy where u are in life then u shouldn't talk to anybody else (in a non friendly way) but i think that in your case as long as your not going places with her or trying to get her number then its ok....but what would u think if your wife was in your shoes and thought the same way about a guy....like u do of that girl?? would it bother u?.... i think that if u love your wife (which i'm sure u do. i'm not doubting that at all) then u should avoid talking to the girl cuz it could end up bad. i hope i answered your question. good luck!

I think I could handle this now. Not sure I could when I was 35, or even 45.

But what would you think if the boot was on the other foot?

There are scenes exploring this briefly in the series Onedin Line, old UK TV series. When sailors are away at sea, their wives have to be faithful.

Its completely natural.

Just because your married doesnt mean you turn into a robot. Being able to evaluate the situation and control the situation to the point that would be comfortable with your wife and in your relationship is what separates the men from the boys.

Proceed with caution and knowing how your wife would react dont do anything stupid.

u r in big trouble big man

but 2 be honest i think u want her as a friend thats ok but dont get any closer because it clould ruin ur relationship with youre family and youre kids could hate u along with youre wife so be carefull and i would personally ignore her 2 stay in a healthy relation ship.and u should talk to youre wife because it sounds like youre missing something like emotional intamicys in order 2 stay in a healthy relationship forget about it if you're married. Emotional attatchment is like physical cheating. cheating is cheating. pay more attention to your wife.