Can't breastfeed?

I breast fed my son til he was six months old, so when I had my daughter I thought that I would have no problem. That wasn't the case. She was in the NICU for 3 days and got used to the bottle so when I got her home she wouldn't latch on properly. I had to pump and give her a bottle. That only lasted 5 weeks. I also had to supplement formula. As long as your baby gets some of you milk than he should be fine. In fact even if he didn't get any of your milk he would be fine. I am pregnant with my third baby and I am hoping that I can breast feed this one. It may not be for long as I have to go back to work after 6 weeks but I will do it as long as I can.

You are not a bad mommy, you are providing for your baby boy the best you can. I too tried unsuccessfully to breastfeed. He would scream and cry and would not latch on. When he did, it would hurt so bad, draw blood, and only last a few mins. He would empty my breasts in minutes and scream and cry for more. I just could not produce enough. It broke my heart. I wanted so badly to breastfeed, but it simply was not possible. I tried everything to increase my supply and to get him to latch. I would feed him every half hour, even through the night, trying to increase my supply and keep him feed. Even when I would pump, I would only get a couple oz, which was just not enough. I am so thankful that we live in a place and time that formula is available. It may not be as good as breast milk, but at least babies are not starved. I felt horrible for a while, and cried every time I had to give him formula. I was even embarrassed I was not breastfeeding. I had been studying for my child nutrition degree for a year and a half when my son was born, and I had it practically beaten in my head that "breast is best." I never planned on anything else. When it became apparent I was not able to feed my son, I looked into all the facts on formula, and compared and contrasted until I was numb. I finally decided on Good Start, after trying the Enfamil. It was too hard on his tummy which made me feel even worse. Around the time he turned 3 months and went for his well baby check up is when I came to my senses. He was growing wonderfully and right on track where he should be developmentally, if not even a little ahead. The doctor told me I was doing a good job, and did not even mention the fact I was not breastfeeding. I finally realized that I was doing all I could, and he was thriving. I have since started doing research on the differences, and even benefits of bottle feeding. And I know this goes against what my training and education says, as well as common knowledge and belief, but through my research I have actually found some advantages in formula feeding. They may be small, but they are there. If you would like me to elaborate, I would be happy to, but this is getting a little long. A couple would be the addition of fluoride, and the shared bonding with other family members. So, all in all, you have done all you can and are a wonderful mommy for doing so. The way you feed your child is a decision you and you alone make. Don't let anyone else try to tell you you are "less of a woman." You are not alone. Sometimes bottle is best.

By the way, after reading your edit, I do have a suggestion. Have you tried nipple shields? These did not work for me, but all women are different and they may just do the trick. They can be found at most stores where the sell baby items, although I do not think walmart has them. Good luck!

I personally did not have that problem, and I understand how you feel, but you need to tune out what other people say. Don't let anyone make you feel like **** or less of a woman because your baby isn't latching on. There are breastfeeding support groups out there if you need them. I say keep trying. Try once or twice every day to get him to latch on. Try putting some of your milk on his lips (might help).

The reason you aren't producing enough breast milk is because you are strictly pumping and most pumping sessions only allow you one to two ounces per session (not per breast). If the baby ever is actually able to latch on then you will notice an increase in milk because he will be able to express more and your body makes what it thinks your baby needs.

Also, and you may have already tried this, but I didn't feel successful with breastfeeding until I got home and just sat down with my baby and we worked it out ourselves. If you would like to keep trying to nurse I think maybe you should take a few days and just try to work out the problem. Relax, eliminate distractions, be calm and just focus on trying to bond with him. Try doing it at a time when he isn't too hungry to keep the frustration to a minimum. Using a boppy pillow and a chair with arms like a glider will help you get into a comfortable position. Just lay your baby there and try to get him to take your breast. Even if he doesn't "eat" much, try getting him to latch on for a while a few times every day. You might even want to spend a whole day or two doing little else but trying to nurse.

Bottom line: Screw your mother-in-law and everyone else giving you a hard time :). At least you are doing everything you can to get him breast milk. Some people don't even do that. Even though breast is best, I personally was formula fed right from day one and I turned out just fine.

I went thru a similar experience too. The reason I was given was that my nipples were too short. Anyway, my daughter hated the whole experience, bawling away each time we tried. Then a doc told me it could me because I wasn't producing enough milk (which I actually was), and put me on medication to increase my supply. That made matters worse, since my daughter wasn't taking all that milk out of my breasts. Mastitis and a breast abscess, and surgical draining was the result.

I was asked to keep trying to feed her from the other side with the help of nipple shields, which I did for some time. Then I just decided that I was upsetting myself over this issue, stopped the whole thing and purely formula-fed her from 3 months on.

I was and am a person who truly understands the benefits of breastfreeding. But when it causes distress to the mom (when coupled with post partum depression), it makes me wonder whether it's worth it. Some people just have it easier than others, and they should not judge others based on what they went thru.

Good luck to you, whatever decision you take. Remember that you are the best mom your baby could ever have, and that this is just one of the many hard decisions you will have to take regarding your child. May God give you the strength to take the right one, and the courage to stand by it, no matter what people say!

yea i think you're reading the wrong breastfeeding book. i know there is a book affiliated with La Leche League and i know alot of women didn't like it cause it makes you feel like a bad mother. but no, just keep doing what you're doing and supplement. my baby was in the hospital for six weeks too small to breastfeed because she was premature and i pumped for probably about five months. as long as the baby is getting some breast milk i think that is just as good and you're great for trying. Don't tell your husband's mother your business. she is a purist, not you...i have friends who had nothing to do with La Leche League and breastfed. you do not need them. they could be what's stressing you out. i say try every day and eventually maybe the baby will get the idea. since he is probably spoiled by the flow of the bottle now. that's usually what happens. besides you don't want to stress out the baby. do what you feel is best for you and your baby.

Also there are OTHER breastfeeding books out there you can even read about it online. If you have a friend who breastfed ask them for help. I think you should be pumping every three hours at least 15 mins on each breast. just keep doing that. you dont have to pump that often at night. maybe not for six hours. eventually your body will start to realize it needs to produce more. maybe when you start to produce more, then you can try breastfeeding, who knows.

good luck with whatever you do.

You are a wonderful mother from what I am hearing. You have worked so hard to do what you feel is right for your baby. Do not feel bad and do not let others make you feel bad, they have not experienced what you have. I know what it is like to have a low supply. My baby was not gaining weight at first because I had no clue until I tried pumping that I was only making like 2 ounces. I supplement with formula too. My baby is getting the benefit of breast milk and the benefit of a well rounded formula as well. I think that your husbands support is great. I was pretty down on myself because I couldn't solely breast feed, but my husband was great in reassuring me. I have heard that with pumping, your supply diminishes over time anyway because it doesn't stimulate like the babies sucking, so you would probably end up having to move to formula anyway.

Everyones situation is different and there is no manual to parenting. It sounds like you are a loving mother and that is all that matters in the long run. Babies have been brought up on formula for years and they are happy, healthy, and intelligent adults today.

I breastfed my first baby for one month. I was devestated to wean but it was a big struggle because she was lactose intolerant and I didn't try taking dairy out of my diet to see if it helped.

I was determined to breastfeed my son successfully. But he was born in the middle of the night and I had no sleep for three days and he didn't want to stop (feeding for over an hour and a half every two hours) and the minute I gave him formula he relaxed because he got some nourishment finally. I guess I just couldn't make enough for him and was too exhausted to try. And I was devestated again. I was sobbing and wailing about it. But, he's healthy and we're bonded tightly.

At least your son's getting some breast milk. But when breastfeeding isn't successful, telling someone that they still can do it doesn't make it any better. I'm still hurt about it and will try again if I have a third. And be devestated with that one if I can't breastfeed again. But we all will be alright.

You are not a horrible mother for not breastfeeding. You tried your best. Your child is consuming breastmilk and that is the point. It so sad that people try to make mothers feel bad about things like this as if we don't have enough on our plates!

I couldn't breast feed either and if I heard it once, I've heard it a million times that breastfeeding mothers bond with their kids. The truth is that I cannot imagine loving my child anymore. And even when I give him the bottle he's looking into my eyes and we connect.

Look on the positive side - your husband can help with the feeding, too!

Good luck with the MIL.

Feeling bad about pumping? You shouldn't! I think that its great that you are so determined to give your child as much breast milk as possible. Pumping is HARD! It's like having the demands of breastfeeding coupled with the fuss and muss of bottle feeding. It's still the same milk. He is still receiving the benefits. Keep it up as long as you can! Many women do for many months. THAT is dedication, IMO! Some people do not understand the agony of trying to stick your breast inside the mouth of a screaming baby who wants nothing to do with your breast, and WILL NOT LATCH.

As for the judgements from the in-laws . . . welcome to parenthood. You will continue to receive them for the rest of your parenthood experience. You never know how judgmental people really are untill you have children. You just have to put on your helmet and knee guards and let it bounce off.

I had to stop breast feeding with both of my kids. It was very stressful and time consuming. I think the stress is what led to me not being able to produce enough milk. I tried breast feeding, then pumping and feeding, then just pumping then i had to give up because i wasn't producing enough. Hang in there dont let it stress you out. stress can also keep you from producing milk. you are your babys support he can tell if you are upset or stressed and it will affect him. so stay happy no matter what granny says. this isn't her kid , this isn't her era things have changed. Formulas are much better now that they were before.