(Joke) Biography of G.W. Bush?

My name is George Bush. If you think I am ugly now, you should've

seen me when I was a baby. I am the only baby born inside-out.

I was such an ugly baby that when I was born, the doctor held

my feet up, took one look at me...and slapped my mother.

Actually, I was part of a twin. My parents were so poor, they had to

make a decision. My father said to my mother one evening that they

could only afford one baby. They agreed to keep the beautiful baby

and drown the ugly one...that's when I first learned how to swim.

My father was so excited at my birth... instead of asking,

"Is it a boy or a girl?" He asked, "Am I a father or a mother?"

I was so surprised at my birth that I couldn't speak for a year and a half.

My poor mother was apologizing to everybody for giving birth to me.

Then my father got the itch again and persuaded my mother to try

and improve Mother Nature's work... His being horny is beside the point.

She gave birth to my sister... When the priest was about to baptize her,

the priest said, "What's the boy's name?" And my father replied,

"It's a girl... You're holding my thumb!!!"

I grew up to be a "Wonder Boy"... Everybody would look at me and wonder.

So many people say that I am intelligent. Maybe it's because of the

many years I've spent in school. I spent seven years in kindergarten

alone... I wanted to master it!!!

Then I was accelerated to the first grade after seven short years. I spent

three years in the first grade where my father taught me the

Fine Art of Honesty. He paid $10,000 to the principal and the

principal was so touched by the honesty of the money given him that

he accelerated me to the sixth grade. The rest is history-- I repeated myself...