Why is my sexuality referred to as a "lifestyle" ?

Being a vegetarian is a lifestyle choice.

Being a parent is a lifestyle choice.

Converting to Buddhism is a lifestyle choice.

Watching the Oprah Winfrey Show is a lifestyle choice.

Being on unemployment payments is a lifestyle choice.

Recycling your plastic and paper waste products is a lifestyle choice.

Not cleaning your toilet bowl properly is a lifestyle choice.

Being gay is simply a state of being, just like being blue-eyed or growing to the adult height of 5'8" tall.

I'm a gay man but I haven't had sex since Easter Monday. We are now in August. I don't have much sex, especially lately because I'm focusing on my career.

{{{{{The *gay lifestyle* is used by the homophobic Christian moral majority to describe the male homosexual myth of sexual promiscuity and the lesbian myth of loneliness.}}}}}

The following recently occurred to me:

There's a very definite "lifestyle" that most *straight* people fit into.

This lifestyle involves the notion of the man as a primary breadwinner and the woman as the person who's going to have (on average) 2 kids, and who'll be the main person to take care of them. This lifestyle dictates that the woman will cook the vast majority of the home cooked meals. It probably dictates that the man will periodically get upset with the woman for spending too much of "his money" on shoes, and rant about her having done so while drinking beer with his "buddies"... And that the woman will then get upset with the man for spending too much time neglecting her while drinking beer with his uncivilized buddies and will go out and spend some of his money on shoes to make her feel better.

Not all straight people fit into this lifestyle, and even those that do probably only fit into certain *parts* of it... But, judging by the way the straight women at my work talk, I get the feeling that most straight people very definitely feel that it's *expected* of them that they follow something along the lines of this lifestyle, and that they will in some way be socially ostracized if they don't.

In that sense, I can see how straight people might be resentful of a deliberately childless gay couple that chooses to use their expendable income to travel, or to buy a nicer house... Or of a gay male couple that has a much more lively sex life than most straight couples do... Or a lesbian couple that communicate their feelings to each other much more effectively.

Heck, I tend to think most gay relationships have a much stronger sense of equality, and of domestic duties being *shared* then most straight relationships.

... And I tend to think these are the sorts of things they're *really* talking about when they use the word "lifestyle." :-D

I think it depends, and that's what gets folks confused.* At the core of it there is the fact that being LGB (the sexuality ones, where as T is not sexuality) is simply who you date and who you are attracted to, something that you can't change. But for many people, the community is a lifestyle. Their friends are all members, their outside-work activities all involve the community, and sometimes their work is even related... in which case, it really does go beyond simply accepting who you are attracted to and acting on it to the "lifestyle" realm of things.

*Though I still think that for the most part they're just trying to make it sound like it's a choice.

I totally agree with you. Terms like the "homosexual lifestyle" and "sexual preference" were made by ignorant conservatives who are trying to insinuate that homosexuality is a choice. What makes me laugh though is that they never say follow the "straight lifestyle" or that they just suddenly woke up and decided to be straight. It's cloaked homophobia.

I always thought that it was kind of funny to call it a lifestyle too, but for a different reason.

Its sexuality, it does not define the rest of your character. A gay guy does not automatically run out to Broadway shows anymore than a straight guy is required to love football-so the whole lifestyle thing just seems ridiculous.

i know, i get so wound up about this. people just say whatever is 'politically correct' at the time, even if calling it a 'lifestyle choice' (which i get all the time, "alternative lifestyle choice", "transsexual lifestyle choice" etc.) implies that we're somehow choosing the way we are. i'm so glad somebody pointed it out, because i was thinking i'd have to do it. people seem to have no problem saying "lifestyle choice" as well as "oh they can't choose". so~ i just tend to ignore it i think, but i get so irritated when people do it. thanks for pointing it out

I agree 100%. People can change thier lifestyle by moving or changing thier activities, etc. But we can't change our sexual oriantation, despite what "others" say. So I would say it does not make sence to call sexuality a lifestyle

Without exception, ALL my friends who are gay find the "lifestyle" reference insulting. Most just write it off to the ongoing ignorance of the masses and some sort of need to minimalize anything different.

I'm not gay, but I can't see any difference between my own existence and theirs. We just are what we ae.

So to (finally, LOL) answer your question - YES. It's a part of who you are, and that's all.

I look at it as a disability. You have the wrong equipment for

who you feel like inside. Male and female were made to fit together, physically, one inside the other, primarily to be able to deposit sperm in the female to fertilize the egg. In the natural order of things, that is not possibe if two of the same sex get together. Being "straight" follows the natural order of things. Being gay doesn't. People say that it is a lifestyle choice if a peron chooses to go against the natural order. If people all went with the same sex we would die off as the human race. I could choose to put my car key where it was made to go, in the ignition, or I could choose to put it in the gas tank because that is what I feel like doing. The car would not start and the key might get damaged in the process.

Being Gay or Straight doesn't define who you are. Your heart does that. How you treat others, how generous, kind, thoughtful--or even how mean or selfish if that be the case.

Who you are is different from what you are. I have known some the nicest gay folks, and some of the meanest gay folks. I have known some of the sweetest straight folks and some of the nastiest straihgt folks.

Pay more attention to your spirit, soul, and relationship with God, than how people view you. Ultimately, only what God thinks of you matters anyway.

Have the best day ever.

Who rules most of the world and certainly America...if you're here? That's right, the christians! Their hate, ignorance, arrogance and intolerance are why, who you are, is called a "lifestyle".