My father cheated on my mother when i was young, I am now realizing why I am insecure in relationship.?

I went through the exact same thing as you did when you were little. I got to see the woman he cheated with. I was 6.

The lady came up to my dad at a restaurant while my mom and I were with him. She demanded to speak to him outside. My mother was upset and I was upset. They took it outside where they nearly got into a fight. That lady tells me that I didn't need my father as much as she did and that I was grown. -She was 21.

There has been plenty occasions when my father has cheated on my mother and they always seemed to work it out. I've seen them have ugly arguments and even fight. My mother stayed with him because of us (3 Children).

She always use to tell me how not to trust a man, etc. when I was little.

I grew up believing that was how all men were. My parents stayed together and worked out their differences.

I never thought that my insecurities came from this until you asked this question. I put some thought to it and smiled as I was thinking that I am glad to have found the Lord and asked Him into my life. Because of my walk with the Lord, I have found peace. He has given me a positive outlook on life and I no longer need to feel insecurity, or negativity.

Throughout the past relationships I've had, I use to be jealous, suspicious, and insecure. I always thought negative.

When I seen how I was hurting my recent relationship, I simply threw in the towel and I just opened my heart to the Lord to help guide me. I realized that I couldn't control what others may be doing but I can control myself if I have the help of the Lord. I gave Him my baggage that I have been carrying around with me through the years and in exchange, He gave me peace, hope, Love, trust, spiritual strength, and fellowship. Above all, He gave me security.

Because of my faith and belief in Him, He rewarded me with many gifts. He allowed me to have a wonderful loving, devoted husband and son. I promised to raise my son to Gods everlasting words. I believe that if you build your home and marriage on rock; a spiritual foundation. Not even the devil can tear it apart. As it says in Matthew 7:24

[ The Wise and Foolish Builders ] "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Luke 6 - The Wise and Foolish Builders (NIV)

46"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? 47I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. 48He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

I will say a prayer for you to seek the Lord with all your heart and to release that negative baggage that you have been carrying around. God has many gifts in store for you if you only have faith and truly believe in him. Seek refuge in Him.

When you have a chance, look at this site:

www.fathersloveletter.com

and

this video on www.youtube.com called:

"I'm not who I was" by: "Brandon Heath"

-May God be with you always.

-God Bless.

It's all about entertaining thoughts. If a thought comes into your mind, you have two options: listen to it or ignore it. (I have some first hand experience with this unfortunately, and it works). If you don't like the thought or it's not a productive one, start by disproving it. Like when you fret your bf might cheat on you, tell yourself, "We have been together 2 years, and he has not cheated on me in that time. Why would I think he might start now?" If you don't have an answer, dwell on your self-inflected rhetorical Q (better to obsess on the positive). If you do have an answer (like, say, "Because that's what my experience has been in the past), then you are getting to a deeper "core belief" that needs to be addressed. If you can't change these thoughts on your own, maybe look into professional help. There is no shame in it, and I would say with you already asking these sorts of Q's, if you decided you needed it, you'd be on your way after only a handful of sessions.

Best of luck.

Time to work on you.. This is not about your boyfriend. Can say I been there done that. What worked for me is I went to therapy worked on the issue of trust and insecurity and happy to say ended up marring a great guy. Sorry to say this issue is not going to disappear on it's own.

Once you believe that you are worth more many doors will open and you will not be stressing the small stuff.

Good Luck

I think you should address these personal issues with a therapist since this is something that you experienced as a child and you feel its affecting you as an adult. If you know for a fact that your boyfriend is a good guy, but your insecurity is getting the best of you, you might end up losing him. Get the help before you do lose him.

I just have to say this! Why, Oh Why do people always BLAME their childhood for their problems of today? You are 24, an adult. You can change your outlook on life as it is today. Stop dwelling on the past. It is OVER, there was nothing you could have done then to make things better and nothing you can do now to change it. Your parents worked it out and are happy, your boyfriend shouldn't suffer.

Take control of your life! STOP DWELLING AND BLAMING YOUR DAD! Go talk to him about it. If that will help

See a therapist, perferably one who specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy. My personal experience is that rehashing the past can only get us so far, then WE have to do the work to help us handle our fears and feelings.

That, and continuing to spend time with your boyfriend should help your fears to lessen and eventually go away.

I used to believe that we could never change our feelings and were doomed to be slaves to our emotions. My ex-therapist taught me otherwise in 6 short weeks. (She was a cognitive -behavioral therapist) and she was

the only one who ever helped me after years of seeing other therapists and just free-associating. My last (well, I hope my last!) therapist actually gave me tools to deal with my feelings.

I had the same kinds of feelings with all my boyfriends, even with the man who is now my husband. Eventually the insecurity about just went away. Hang in there.

Puff

what is past is past....

you should not let the past to haunt u....

the most important thing is that u treasure ur boyfriend and don't let happiness slip through your hand...

The Bible further defines love in I Corinthians 13—commonly known as the “Love Chapter”—with detailed characteristics, stating that love (charity)…

* Is patient and tender toward others (vs. 4)

* Is not jealous of others (vs. 4)

* Does not brag about its own accomplishments (vs. 4)

* Is not arrogant or proud (vs. 4)

* Is never rude or discourteous (vs. 5)

* Does not promote self above others (vs. 5)

* Is not easily offended or quick to become angry (vs. 5)

* Does not keep account of evil or impute evil motives (vs. 5)

* Does not rejoice over lawlessness (vs. 6)

* Rejoices when truth triumphs over deceitful ways (vs. 6)

* Endures without revealing what distress is taking place, is eager to believe the best, is always hopeful, and remains patient, even in persecutions (vs. 7)

* Love “never fails” (vs. 8)—it is never out of use, and always motivates a person to act in another’s best interest.

Cheers=D

your father cheating has nothing to do with you unless he took you around all these women and you saw these behavior on the continual basis. you finding out later that your dad cheated on your mom and you never saw it for yourself, has nothing to do with you. you need to seek some counseling because you are definitely insure but you are blaming the wrong reason on it. you need to find the deeper issue/s that are going on with you. it may indirectly have something to do with your relationship with your father as a child but go find out from a professional. GodBless

Maybe you should speak to an doctor with your bf about it before you lose an good man.Healthy relationships are getting hard to find these days.

You just need to stop letting the past influence how you feel today in your relationships.